Joseph Gordon-Levitt: The 3rd Rock kid plays gay teenagers, then descends into ceaseless heteronormativity. With his backside and potential d*ck

 

 Link to the n*de photos

Raise your hand if you still think of Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Tommy Solomon on 3rd Rock from the Sun (1996-2001).  A team of aliens is sent to Earth, disguised as a "typical human family," but their superiors get the ages and genders mixed up.  The male security officer becomes a woman, Sally (played by Kristen Johnsten, who would go on to play Eli's estranged sister on The Righteous Gemstones).  The middle aged information officer becomes prepubescent Tommy.  Poor guy has to go through puberty twice.

There were no regular gay characters, and only two references, in "mistaken for gay" episodes, but Sally, as a male being presenting as a woman, has a queer aura in spite of her hetero interests.  Plus John Lithgow, a vocal ally who has played gay and trans characters, imbued the team leader with a number of queer codes, explained as lack of familiarity with human customs.

Joseph was a busy child star long before 3rd Rock, with guest spots on Murder She Wrote, LA Law, Quantum Leap, Family Ties, and Roseanne, and starring roles in the 1991 Dark Shadows reboot (as David Collins, heir to the vampire-ridden dynasty) and the 1992 Powers that Be (as the grandson of the unhinged Senator Powers).

I've already reviewed The Great Elephant Escape (1995), a buddy-bonding adventure set in East Africa.

Duriing and after 3rd Rock, Joseph appeared in several projects of gay interest:

On a 1998 episode of That 70s Show, about a group of high school friends in 1970s Milwaukee, focus character Eric befriends his chemistry lab partner, Buddy (Joseph), who thinks they are dating and kisses him.  Eric struggles with the realization, but in the end decides to stay friends with Buddy anyway.  Buddy was supposed to be an ongoing character, but homophobic fans objected, so he was dropped.

Some historians call it the first male same-sex kiss on tv, but it doesn't really count, since Eric didn't consent.  The first kiss where both men consent aired in 2004.

Latter Days (2003) features a romance between  closeted Mormon missionary Aaron (Steve Sandvoss, middle) and out-and-proud, heavily partying Christian (Wes Ramsey, left).  They end up leaving the church and tthe party subculture, respectively. 

Wes Ramsey and Joseph's backsides are on  RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

 Joseph auditioned to  play Aaron, but the directors thought that his aggressive manner was better suited to the homophobic missionary Paul.  

Mysterious Skin (2004) features two boys, Neill and Brian (Joseph, Brady Corbet), who are abused by their Little League coach.  When they grow up, Neil becomes a hustler (gay, but with a girlfriend), while Brian is experiencing "missing time" and believes that he was abducted by aliens.  

Two more Joseph backsides on RG Beefcakes and Boyfriends.

I didn't watch because I heard that it was homophobic, presenting the idea that the abuse "turned" the boys gay.

Then the gay content abruptly  ends.  Joe's character even uses a homophobic slur in Don Jon (2013).  He explains, "that character would say that." So it's realistic to offend your gay fans?

In the same interview, he's asked about his gay fans, and replies: "I can't say it's something I really think about."  Jerk!

More after the break

"Once Upon a Time in Hollywood": Where Were You in 1969?

 Wait -- Leonardo DiCaprio is 46 years old, and Brad Pitt is...ulp... 57?  When did that happen?

Great Caesar's bust is on the shelf, and I don't feel so well myself.

They are together in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (2019):

Rick Dalton (Leo), once the star of a popular tv Western, is now (in 1969) relegated to guest-spots as villains on other people's shows.  His friend Cliff Booth (Brad), "more than a brother but less than a wife," can't find work either, and works as Rick's assistant and driver.

We see them going through a typical day.  Rick preps for a guest spot as a villain on Lancer, starring a star-struck James Stacy (left), played by Timothy Oliphant; bonds with the very precocious 8-year old Trudi Fraser (Jodie Foster?), who plays his victim; can't remember his lines and flubs two scenes; and invites Cliff over to watch tv, order pizza, and spend the night.

Meanwhile, Cliff takes his shirt off (what Brad Pitt movie doesn't require him to take his shirt off?), gets fired from a stunt job for beating up Bruce Lee (played by Mike Moh), and picks up a hippie chick who lives at Spahn's Movie Ranch.  There he spars with several other members of the cultlike hippie "family," including Tex Watson, Susan Adkins, Linda Kasabian, and Patricia Krenwinkle.  Sound familiar?

Although both are established as heterosexual, the bromance between Cliff and Rick has a deliberate gay subtext.  They'll only hug in private (hint-hint), Cliff has his own place, but often spends the night with Rick (hint-hint); in the final scene, Cliff turns out to be "more than a wife": Rick definitively chooses him over her. 

Rick (and Cliff, when he sleeps over) live next door to famous director Roman Polanski (Rafal Zawierucha) and his girlfriend Sharon Tate (Margo Robbie), but they don't have the nerve to go over and introduce themselves.  We see a typical day in Tate's life, too: she picks up a hitchhiking hippie chick from Spahn's Movie Ranch (ulp!), buys a book for her boyfriend, and goes to a screening of her movie, a spy spoof starring Dean Martin called The Wrecking Crew.

Not to worry, both Roman Polanski and Sharon Tate's sister liked the script.

On August 8th, 1969, Rick and Cliff have just returned from six months in Italy, where Rick starred in some spaghetti Westerns.  Rick has just married his co-star, and there are no jobs in the foreseeable future, so he has has no money, and can't afford to have Cliff living with him anymore.  They are both heartbroken over this decision.  Leaving the jet-lagged wife asleep, the two go out to dinner, and come home extremely drunk.

Meanwhile, Roman Polanski is away making a movie, so the eight-month pregnant Sharon Tate invites some friends over: her ex-boyfriend Jay Sebring; coffee heiress Abigal Folger; and her boyfriend Wojciech Frykowski.  

Around midnight, some hippies from Spahn Ranch, on order from Charles Manson to go to the Polanski house and kill everyone inside, make a wrong turn and end up at Rick's house.  

I'm not going to say what happens next, but it's quite different from what really happened that night.  This is a fairy tale, after all: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

Beefcake: Some hunks at a pool party, and Brad Pitt shirtless.  What more do you want?

Gay Characters: Deliberate gay subtext between Cliff and Rick.

Heterosexism: None.  Rick's wife seems mostly a publicity stunt, and she definitely plays second fiddle to the great love of his life, Cliff.

Feet: I could do without the closesups of shoes and bare feet, especially the ones that take up a quarter of the screen.  It is possible for a girl to sit without shoving her feet into the air, you know.

1960s: An amazing number of famous names, movies, tv shows, songs, and even iconic streets from the Hollywood of the era appear or are referenced.  If you were alive during the late 1960s, you'll  probably be overwhelmed by nostalgia.  If not, you'll be constantly asking your partner "Who's that?  Was that a real show?  Did that really happen?" 

My grade: A if you remember 1969, B+ if you don't.

See also: Nude Photos of Brad Pitt

Nude Photos of Leonardo DiCaprio

Lukas Haas: Gay Tragedies and Angst

 L

Lukas Haas has been a Hollywood icon for over 40 years. He starred in some of the classic films of our childhood, like Witness (1985),  Lady in White (1988), The Ryan White Story (1989), and Mars Attacks! (1995).

Although his main focus has been indie doomed-romance-with-women movies, he has played several gay characters, generally of the angst-ridden, tragic-ending sort.

In Johns (1996), he plays a hustler who falls in love with a coworker (David Arquette) who insists that he's not gay.

In Last Days (2005), based on the last days of singer Kurt Cobain, he has a romantic relationship with Scott Patrick Green

In Meth Head (2013), he takes crystal meth and destroys his life, in spite of his partner's attempts to save him.

His friendship with Leonardo DiCaprio and lack of public heterosexual romances have  sparked gay rumors, but Lukas hasn't made any public pro- or anti-gay statements.  

There are beefcake and nude photos on the NSFW site, Righteous Gemstones Beefcake and Boyfriends.