"The Beach": Amoral jerk Leonardo DiCaprio, ample beefcake, and a paranormal tease. With Youngblood and Thai d*cks

  

 Link to the n*de dudes.

For Movie Night this week, we watched The Beach (2000).  I don't usually review movies that are more than five years old, but I thought it might be of interest for the beefcake and weird paranormal tease. 

In the trailer, Leonardo DiCaprio and his friends are touring Thailand, when they stumble upon a tribe of hippies that hasn't aged since the 1960s.  He takes off his shirt, spears fish, and has s*x with about a dozen women. But things go wrong, and he must flee through the jungle at night. Maybe they're planning to sacrifice him to the Elephant God?  

The actual movie is not as hetero-sleazy as the trailer suggests.  There are only two hetero-s*x scenes, both partially obscured, and shirtless guys far outnumber the lady parts. 

I suspect that Leo is supposed to be a sympathetic character, but he comes across as an arrogant, pretentious jerk, who ignores the museums and temples, actually all of Thai culture, to hang out with Westerners and criticize Thailand for being crowded, sleazy, and Westernized.  

Left: The Buddhas of Wat Pho.

One night Daffy, the Looney Tune in the room next door, tells him about a beach he found that's pristine, pure, unsullied by Westerners.  It's on a secret island -- he draws Leo a map, then dies.

Sounds like Bali Hai from South Pacific, or maybe Shangri-La from Lost Horizon.

Left: Daffy is played by Robert Carlyle, who showed us his stuff in the The Full Monty.

Leo convinces Francoise, the girl who's been flirting with him, and her boyfriend Etienne  to join him.  16 hours by train to Surat Thani, then a boat and overcrowded bus to Ko Pha Ngan.

There Leo hangs out with a gay couple (Peter Youngblood Hills, Jerry Swindoll).  He invites them to the Island, and gives them a copy of the map.

Left: Jerry Swindoll.  Nice chest, buddy.

Peter Youngblood Hills' backside and front are on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

Turns out that they're actually straight stoners -- they sleep head to foot, and when they finally get around to the Island, they bring girls. But it was nice while it lasted.

More after the break

Ade M"Cormack: the "Elephant Escape" kid grows up, gets a BFA, writes a gay movie, stars in "Castlevania," and doesn't come out. With bonus n*de dudes

In The Great Elephant Escape (1995), 14-year old Matt (Joseph Gordon Levitt) goes on safari in Africa, where local boy Jomo (Frederick Tocumboh M’Cormack) falls in love with him.  It's a one-sided but very nearly textual romance.  Also they helo an elephant escape.

We know what happened to Joseph Gordon-Levitt.  

He played the aliens' son in Third Rock from the Sun (1996-2001).

A gay guy on  That 70s Show (1998).

A straight guy in the gay-themed Latter Days (2003)

A teenager turned gay by abuse in  Mysterious Skin (2004).

And then a lot of straight characters, like a cop in Dark Knight Rising (2012), addict Don Jon (2013), a party boy in Christmas in The Night Before (2015), and Jimminy Cricket in Pinocchio (2022)

But what about Frederick Tocumboh M’Cormack, now named Adetokumboh, or just Ade?

Great Elephant was the Sierra Leone-born actor's first film role. He grew up in Nigeria and Kenya, then moved to the U.S., where he attended the Conservatory of Theater Arts at SUNY Purchase.  He starred in The Cider House Rules, Julius Caesar, and A Comedy of Errors, and graduated magna cum laude with a BFA (and the President's Achievement Award) in 2004.

He lived in New York for several years, starring in the off-Broadway productions of The Three Sisters, Salt Chocolate, and My Children, My Africa (all about apartheid in South Africa), and the movie Whiskey Echo (about the war in Sudan)

Viewers of Lost know Ade as Yemi, the younger brother of the mysterious Mr. Eko (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje).  In three episodes (2006), he grows up, becomes a priest, is forced into an airplane loaded with drugs, and crashes on the paranormal island.

Viewers of Heroes know him as the mobster Tuko, who appears in four episodes (2007): he runs afoul of the superheroes while searching for an important shipping box with his buddies Will and Ricky (Dominic Keating, Holt McCallany)

He returned to Sierra Leone in 2006 for a small part in Blood Diamond opposite Leonardo DiCaprio and Djimon Hounsou.

Many more action-adventure, police, and serious political dramas followed, including Quantum of Solace, 24, NCIS, Criminal Minds, The OA, Los Angeles, and X-Men 97.

Ade's biggest role to date is Isaac in the animated Castlevania (2018-2021).  The "I hate all humans!" anad "There is  no such thing as love in this world!" thug started out as one of Dracula's generals in his war against humanity, but eventually mellowed and became king of Styria.  He doesn't display any heterosexual interest.

The animated Blood of Zeus (2020-25) is also getting a lot of fan attention.  Ade plays Kofi, an Ethiopian slave who joins Evios and Heron (Derek Philips, Chris Diamantopolous) to fight the demons and monsters threatening Olympus. He has a wife back home and a gay-subtext romance with Evios.

More after the break. 

A Season in Hell: Gay Poet Abandons His Art...and Men

When I was in college , I thought that Charles Baudelaire was gay, because he named his book The Flowers of Evil, and because he was an outsider, looking in on Paris.

I read Arthur Rimbaud's Bateau ivre (1871) and Un Saison en Enfer (1873) -- mostly in English translation, as the French was impenetrable -- and found them both loaded down with homoerotic imagery.

He was definitely gay.

He began his career at the age of 14, sending scandalous letters to established poets.  In 1871, at age 16, middle-aged poet Paul Verlaine invited him to visit, and they began a passionate but volatile affair.  For two years, they scandalized polite society by openly living together in Paris and London, drinking heavily, carousing in public, and writing scandalous poetry.  Finally, overcome with jealousy and despair, Verlaine shot Rimbaud, injuring him in the wrist.

Verlaine spent two years in prison on charges of sodomy (a more serious charge than attempted murder), then returned to his poetic life and had more gay relationships before his death in 1891.

Rimbaud abandoned his art altogether.  He was not yet 20 years old.

He joined the army, worked in a stone quarry, and finally got a job as a coffee merchant in Yemen, where he died at age 37.

Why did he abandon his art?  He never gave an explanation, but his life has has inspired many writers, artists, and directors, even in the days before same-sex relationships could be openly discussed.  Mostly they portray the relationship as inherently evil and destructive to both poets.

There have been two major film versions:

Una stagione all'Inferno (A Season in Hell, 1970) starred Terence Stamp as Rimbaud (left) and Jean-Claude Brialy as Verlaine.  It focuses on Rimbaud, seduced by the evil gay predator, then abandoning his art and the gay "vice" and getting a girlfriend.

Total Eclipse (1995) starred Leonardo DiCaprio (top photo) as Rimbaud and David Thewlis as Verlaine. It takes the opposite tactic, emphasizing Verlaine's downfall as he is mesmerized by the young poet and descends into a "hell" of self-indulgent evil.  They both repent and convert to Catholicism.

And get girlfriends.

My friend Farshad claims to have dated DiCaprio while he was filming in Brussels.

See also:  Nude Photos of Leonardo DiCaprio

"Once Upon a Time in Hollywood": Where Were You in 1969?

 Wait -- Leonardo DiCaprio is 46 years old, and Brad Pitt is...ulp... 57?  When did that happen?

Great Caesar's bust is on the shelf, and I don't feel so well myself.

They are together in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (2019):

Rick Dalton (Leo), once the star of a popular tv Western, is now (in 1969) relegated to guest-spots as villains on other people's shows.  His friend Cliff Booth (Brad), "more than a brother but less than a wife," can't find work either, and works as Rick's assistant and driver.

We see them going through a typical day.  Rick preps for a guest spot as a villain on Lancer, starring a star-struck James Stacy (left), played by Timothy Oliphant; bonds with the very precocious 8-year old Trudi Fraser (Jodie Foster?), who plays his victim; can't remember his lines and flubs two scenes; and invites Cliff over to watch tv, order pizza, and spend the night.

Meanwhile, Cliff takes his shirt off (what Brad Pitt movie doesn't require him to take his shirt off?), gets fired from a stunt job for beating up Bruce Lee (played by Mike Moh), and picks up a hippie chick who lives at Spahn's Movie Ranch.  There he spars with several other members of the cultlike hippie "family," including Tex Watson, Susan Adkins, Linda Kasabian, and Patricia Krenwinkle.  Sound familiar?

Although both are established as heterosexual, the bromance between Cliff and Rick has a deliberate gay subtext.  They'll only hug in private (hint-hint), Cliff has his own place, but often spends the night with Rick (hint-hint); in the final scene, Cliff turns out to be "more than a wife": Rick definitively chooses him over her. 

Rick (and Cliff, when he sleeps over) live next door to famous director Roman Polanski (Rafal Zawierucha) and his girlfriend Sharon Tate (Margo Robbie), but they don't have the nerve to go over and introduce themselves.  We see a typical day in Tate's life, too: she picks up a hitchhiking hippie chick from Spahn's Movie Ranch (ulp!), buys a book for her boyfriend, and goes to a screening of her movie, a spy spoof starring Dean Martin called The Wrecking Crew.

Not to worry, both Roman Polanski and Sharon Tate's sister liked the script.

On August 8th, 1969, Rick and Cliff have just returned from six months in Italy, where Rick starred in some spaghetti Westerns.  Rick has just married his co-star, and there are no jobs in the foreseeable future, so he has has no money, and can't afford to have Cliff living with him anymore.  They are both heartbroken over this decision.  Leaving the jet-lagged wife asleep, the two go out to dinner, and come home extremely drunk.

Meanwhile, Roman Polanski is away making a movie, so the eight-month pregnant Sharon Tate invites some friends over: her ex-boyfriend Jay Sebring; coffee heiress Abigal Folger; and her boyfriend Wojciech Frykowski.  

Around midnight, some hippies from Spahn Ranch, on order from Charles Manson to go to the Polanski house and kill everyone inside, make a wrong turn and end up at Rick's house.  

I'm not going to say what happens next, but it's quite different from what really happened that night.  This is a fairy tale, after all: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

Beefcake: Some hunks at a pool party, and Brad Pitt shirtless.  What more do you want?

Gay Characters: Deliberate gay subtext between Cliff and Rick.

Heterosexism: None.  Rick's wife seems mostly a publicity stunt, and she definitely plays second fiddle to the great love of his life, Cliff.

Feet: I could do without the closesups of shoes and bare feet, especially the ones that take up a quarter of the screen.  It is possible for a girl to sit without shoving her feet into the air, you know.

1960s: An amazing number of famous names, movies, tv shows, songs, and even iconic streets from the Hollywood of the era appear or are referenced.  If you were alive during the late 1960s, you'll  probably be overwhelmed by nostalgia.  If not, you'll be constantly asking your partner "Who's that?  Was that a real show?  Did that really happen?" 

My grade: A if you remember 1969, B+ if you don't.

See also: Nude Photos of Brad Pitt

Nude Photos of Leonardo DiCaprio

Lukas Haas: Gay Tragedies and Angst

 L

Lukas Haas has been a Hollywood icon for over 40 years. He starred in some of the classic films of our childhood, like Witness (1985),  Lady in White (1988), The Ryan White Story (1989), and Mars Attacks! (1995).

Although his main focus has been indie doomed-romance-with-women movies, he has played several gay characters, generally of the angst-ridden, tragic-ending sort.

In Johns (1996), he plays a hustler who falls in love with a coworker (David Arquette) who insists that he's not gay.

In Last Days (2005), based on the last days of singer Kurt Cobain, he has a romantic relationship with Scott Patrick Green

In Meth Head (2013), he takes crystal meth and destroys his life, in spite of his partner's attempts to save him.

His friendship with Leonardo DiCaprio and lack of public heterosexual romances have  sparked gay rumors, but Lukas hasn't made any public pro- or anti-gay statements.  

There are beefcake and nude photos on the NSFW site, Righteous Gemstones Beefcake and Boyfriends.