Nutcracker Beefcake

Heterosexist plotline aside, every year The Nutcracker gives us the opportunity to see traditional, family-friendly, school-sanctioned, Christmastime ballet written by a gay man.

And loaded to the brim with hot guys in tights.

Not only the Nutcracker-turned-Prince who woos Clara, but the Mouse King, the Cavalier, party guests, soldiers, sentinels, Arabian dancers, Russian dancers -- the list goes on.



















And on.

















Not a lot of shirtless dancers -- it's set in a Russian winter, after all.  But wander backstage before or after the performance, and you can get a glimpse of Christmas perfection.















More after the break.







The Nutcracker is a favorite of high schools, ballet schools, and drama schools, so there are ample teenage and twink-age hunks among the princes.  This is the star of the Andalusia, Alabama Ballet's performance in 2014.

Yes, Andalusia, Alabama has a ballet company.

Professional dancers tend to be bored by The Nutcracker: the same old score, the same old choreography year after year.  But it sells more tickets than every other ballet combined, keeping the house lights on through the entire season.

This is Jesse Marks of the Colorado Ballet.

Luke Joiner belongs to the Elements Contemporary Elements Contemporary Ballet of Chicago, which "combines the beauty of classical technique with the intensity of innovative contemporary dance: expression, physicality, focus, and freedom."

And they do The Nutcracker.










Steven McRae is a principal at the Royal Ballet in London.  He has performed in Three Songs – Two Voices, Children of Adam, Chroma, Acis and Galatea, 24 Preludes, The Human Seasons, Tetractys, Connectome, Woolf Works and Multiverse.

And The Nutcracker.















But in a world of postmodern, avant-garde, experimental, envelope-pushing, and downright bizarre choreography, it's nice to know that every year you can sit down for the same festival of beefcake and bulges as Clara's nutcracker turns into a Prince.