Diary of the Dead: Film Distorts Reality, and There are Zombies

The Diary of the Dead (2007) is the last hurrah of George Romero's Night of the Living Dead franchise that created the modern zombie,, that ambling, growling animated corpse that attacks the living, leading to apocalyptic chaos and the end of human civilization.  Here we zero in on the first few days of the zombie outbreak through the found-footage of some student filmmakers.

Debra (Michelle Morgan),oneof the survivors, edited the film, added music,and narrates, making asides about how fim distorts and creates reality.  It's obviously George Romero himself ruminating at the end of his career, giving the valedictory address at the end of a cultural phenomenon (although he went on to write four more Dead movies and direct three).  Horror greats Wes Craven, Guillermo de Toro, Stephen King, Tom Savini, Quentin Tarentino, and Simon Pegg stop by to pay their respects with cameos or voiceovers.

There's only one problem: the movie is ludicrous.

The Universtiy of Pittsburgh film students are makinng a horror movie about mummies, under the supervision of their elegant artiste "I was in the thea-tah" Professor (Scott Wentworth).  Professor Artiste would never grant college credit for a vulgar genre film.

They hear some news reports about people assumed to be dead rising up to attack the living.  Professor scoffs; he's old enough to remember the panic from Orson Welles' War of the Worlds broadcast -- 70 years ago!  Impossible! But Ridley (Philip Riccio, top photo) immediately rushes back to his parents' house in Philadelphia, while Jason (Joshua Close) rushes to the dorm to see if his girlfriend is ok. It was just a weird news story!

The dorm is deserted.  All of the students, except for Girlfriend, rushed out as soon as they heard the weird news story.  How would they even hear the story in the middle of the night?  This is before smart phones, so they would all,without exception, have to be watching tv, then panic based on one news story.

Instead of going their separate ways, the film students pile into the van to drive to their parents' houses in small towns across the state, including the Professor, who lives in town and could just go home. Jason keeps filming.   We get some brief back stories: tough guy Tony (Shawn Roberts, left) is upset because he had to do the "girly" makeup for the mummy movie; Gordo (Chris Violette, below) is heterosexual; Eliot (Joe Dinicol, bottom)  is a nerd.

Mary (Tatiana Maslany), who is driving, runs over three people who may or may not have been zombies, and feels so guilty that she tries to kill herself.  They rush her to the hospital,which is deserted except for a few random zombies.  The news reports came in just a few hours ago!

In the ensuing fight, Mary and Gordo die. Pity -- Gordo was one of the cute ones.

It's been about six hours since the news reports started coming in, but society has already collapsed.  They ruminate on the futility of filmmaking and briefly take refuge with a deaf Amish guy.  They haven't seen anyone for hours, but the minute they arrive at Amish Guy's farm, it is overrun by zombies.  Does that make sense?

Next they meet a mysterious stranger with a gun, who takes them to a warehouse in a zombie-free big city, where his crew has been stockpiling supplies. The crew is all African-American. Is the audience supposed to be scared, thinking that black means evil, then surprised when they turn out to be helpful? Weird racist plot twist! 

The mysterious stranger doesn't have a name listed on IMDB, but the next guy they meet does: Sergeant Nicotine (Alan Van Sprang. left), who takes all of the supplies they got from the helpful African-Americans.

Debra (Michelle Moynihan) gets a text saying that her parents and little brother (named Billy, naturally) are still alive.  So they go to their house in Scranton. By the time they get there, however, the family has turned into zombies.

So they go on to to seek refuge with Ridley (remember him?), who has a mansion in Philadelphia.  Isolated, easy to defend, a year's supply of food, six bathrooms.  Perfect place to settle in. The only problem is, Ridley watched his parents and the servants turn into zombies, so he's a little crazy.  Also, he's been bitten.  Also, the mansion is being overrun.

In the ensuing battle, almost everyone dies. I think only Debra, Tracey, and the Professor are left, hiding in the mansion's panic room with a hoard of zombies outside.

No food or water in that panic room.  So how did Debra escape to make the film?

Beefcake:  A couple of shirtless zombies, if you don't mind a little gore with your muscles.

Gay Characters:  No one identified  The Professor has effete, Gore Vidal-esque mannerisms, so I'm guessing he is.  Maybe Elliot also.

Heterosexism: There are two heterosexual couples among the film students, but they don't have much time for erotic expression.

Plot Holes:  We keep our dead isolated from the living, in hospitals, morgues, and funeral homes.  No way there would be enough to cause societal collapse in about 24 hours.

Racism: Other than the "surprise!  not evil!" black guys? The first people to zombify are a family of Arab immigrants.  We see the footage of growlng, snarling Arab zombies over and over.

My Grade: C