Letterkenny: On a Scale of One to America, How Homophobic is Small-Town Canada?

 

I heard that the Canadian sitcom Letterkenny was "quietly queer," with a variety of pansexual characters whose shenanigans were "no big deal."  It's apparently about a small town where "there's not a lot going on," sort of like Corner Gas, except the dialogue goes extremely fast, and the accent is incomprehensible without subtitles.

Scene 1: Two hunks (Dylan Playfair, Andrew Herr, below)) drop off their girlfriend at a farm, where a fruit stand is staffed by the tall, stone-faced Wayne (Jared Keeso, left) and his friend.

Wayne's friend jokes that the hunks are actually women.  Ugh!  Why is being like a woman an insult?  What's wrong with women?   They counter by "accusing" Wayne of being gay.  Ugh!  This is "quietly queer"? Only 30 seconds in, and I'm sick to my stomach.  

They continue to insult Wayne, claiming that his girlfriend dumped him because he was too wimpy to fight.  They take off their shirts to challenge him (sigh...I'd challenge them to something...).  

But instead of fighting, he criticizes their threat-technique and treasure trails (line of hair leading from the belly to the crotch): "You look like a 12-year old Dutch girl."  Why does having a treasure trail make you feminine?  I don't get it.

Girlfriend returns and tells them to put their shirts back on. They leave. She's dating them both?

Wayne breaks the fourth wall and tells us: "It's a hard life, pickin' stones and pullin' teats, but it sure beats fightin' fellas with treasure trails."  I had to read that several times to figure out: he's given up professional fighting to become a farmer.

Scene 2: Wayne, his friend (Darryl), and the girl (Katy) at breakfast.  They criticize Wayne's girlfriend, who dumped him: "she made you soft.  You're not even fighting anymore."  Then they suggest that he should rebound with "sex.  With a girl."  

He storms out.  Katy follows to suggest meeting someone on Tindr. If you like someone, you just say "On a scale of one to America, how free are you right now?"  Huh?

The hunks arrive.  Katy wants to know why Wayne hates them so much: "Because they would grab a monkey by the teat if they could." Huh?

Scene 3:  Wayne, Daryl, Katy, and a hefty bearded guy (Squirly Dan?)  at the produce stand. Squirly Dan tells a story about how they fought some dudes with a Confederate flag on their truck, and Dan got a taser on his nipple ring.  Why are people driving around Canada with Confederate flags?  It was a rebellion against another country.

Scene 4: Wayne and his friend Daryl go the bar and drink.  While Wayne is in the bathroom, he runs into McMurray (Dan Petronjevic, left)  Sigh!  I'd challenge him to something...

McMurry criticizes the new boyfriend of Wayne's ex for being feminine.  I'm getting really tired of these retro "being like a woman is despicable" slurs. 

He makes a face to demonstrate how girly the guy is, but Wayne won't look over while they're at the urinal.  He might see a man's penis and be traumatized for life!

Alexander comes in and stands at the urinal.  He drops his pants to pee (nice butt!)  McMurry criticizes his penis: "like a mushroom in a corn field."

Scene 5: Back in the bar, Daryl invites them to the Burning Bush Christian Youth Group, where he met his girlfriend, "a good Christian girl."  They call him a pervert.  So..,I get that some straight guys think women are vastly inferior to men, but aren't they supposed to want to do sex things with them anyhow? 

Scene 6:  Ontside the church where the youth group is meeting. Some Goth/vampires are dancing.  Inside, Christian youth are mingling.  Daryl's girlfriend tries basic soul-winning on Wayne, then...it's too disgusting to write about.

She criticizes his proposed use of Tindr to meet girls: "It was originally called Grindr!  It was for gay men to sodomize each other!  They snort drugs off each other's penises -- that have just been in their bums!"  This is quietly queer?  On a scale of 1 to America, I'd call it America-homophobic!  

The preacher start the meeting: "Isn't God the best?  There's almost no one I like more!"  He insults his girlfriend.  Then a band called Salty Treats perform.  The Christian youth start dancing

Wayne is depressed.  He didn't realize that Tindr/Grindr is for gays.  

Scene 7: Wayne goes outside to "have a dart" (cigarette) and investigate, to see if Tindr/Grindr really exists.  The Goth/vampires, led by Stewart (Tyler Johnstone) notice and conclude that "you've been so agonized by women that you now prefer the company of men. Good for you for doubling down!  Although I didn't peg you for a pipe fitter."  Ancient myth that you "turn" gay because you can't get women. At least they're only mildly homophobic.  

"Who knew that he liked the chutney ferret? Knob jockey!  Backdoor bandit!" Peals of laughter. Whoops, I was wrong.  Way homophobic.  "Rear admiral!  Oklahomo!"  My God, I'm in pre-Stonewall era. 

One of the Goth vampires states that he is gay, and doesn't like the barrage of homophobic slurs.  Head Goth vampire Stewart says "We know, and we support you," but they continue the homophobic slurs until Wayne goes back inside.

Scene 8: Inside, the preacher is playing an Australin didjeridoo.  Wayne notices that most of the boys are looking at muscular torsos on their phones. So they're all gay, and coming to the youth group so they won't be pressured into sex with girls?  Or is it just Wayne's fear that Tindr is for meeting men?  

Scene 9:  After the youth meeting. Wayne, Daryl, and his girlfriend are at the bar.  The Goth/vampires wonder what he's doing with "a fertile" (an anti-woman slur?)  when he is "gay."  Um..she's my friend's girlfriend.  

Two hunks overhear the gay reference, and start with the homophobic slurs; "Looking for love over the rainbow, Dorothy?" And so on ad nauseam.

Wayne storms out.  This story appears to be about calling Wayne gay or a woman, booth reprehensible beings, so he'll get angry and start fighting again.

The new boyfriend of Wayne's ex -- Troy -- comes in, so they turn their attention to him, by calling him a girl, of course: "What a skirt!"  

Scene 10: Outside, Wayne runs into his sister Katy, who tells him about the texts she's been getting all night. "Ur bro is GAY!!! Har-har!"   Only four minutes to go!  I can't take much more of this rabid homophobia!

She reminds him of occasions where she or Darryl was insulted, and he clobbered the offenders.  Now he's suffering the worst insult a man can hear -- GAY!!! -- and he won't fight back?  "I miss the old Wayne." 

A drunk guy comes out to pee, and drops his pants (nice butt).   Troy the Ex Girlfriend's Boyfriend. follows him to take a picture of the butt, then beat him up.  I guess to post the picture and humiliate him?

Wayne approaches.  Troy insults him: "I stole your girl because you couldn't satisfy her."  Dude, you can't steal a girl.  She's not an object.  She gets to decide who to spend time with.  "I've fucked her a lot.  I'll do it in front of you, if you like.  Maybe your sister would like to join us."  

That did it.  Wayne grabs him by the dick and punches him in the face a lot, while Katy praises him for fighting again.  The whole bar comes out to watch. Um...Troy is not fighting back.  that's actually an assault. 

Why no gay "accusations" to finally make Wayne snap?  Because Spencer Maybee (Troy) is a gay ally, and refused to say them?

Scene 11: The hunks drop off Katy after another date, but this time they treat Wayne with respect. The end.

Beefcake: Lots.

Subculture of Violence: Violence is an appropriate way to solve personal conflicts.

Sexism:  Women are objects.  The preacher actually refers to his girlfriend as "it."  Being called a woman is the worst possible insult.

Homophobia.  Wait -- no, being called gay is the worst possible insult.

My Grade:  I need a shower.  Next I'll watch something a little more gay-friendly, like a Jerry Falwell sermon.