A Morning of Depressing Movie Recommendations on Netflix

My recommendations on Netflix this morning are truly horrifying:

Riding Faith:  After the death of her father, a young woman struggles to keep her ranch open and maintain the "special bond" with her horse.  

Ugh!  Everybody knows that I only watch comedies, cartoons, and sci-fi.  No deathbed scenes, no terminal illnesses, no tear-jerking.  Who cares that it stars 1980s hunk John Schneider and contemporary hunk Jimmy Deshler (who, according to Man Crush Monday, rates 46,592 among Man Crushes).

Walk, Ride, Rodeo.  "In the wake of an accident that leaves her paralyzed..."  

Why would anyone on Earth be interested in watching something like that?  Or in acting in it?  Or in directing?  Or getting within 100 yards of the studio where it was being filmed?  

But someone named Dan Goforth wrote the story, Conor Allyn agreed to direct, and a bunch of grinning blond women agreed to act.  Several hunks also agreed to cry and hug and get depressed, such as Mitchell Hoog.

Kiss and Cry.  "Faced with a rare form of throat cancer...."

They have got to be kidding.  How did I trigger a "likes depressing movies" algorithm?  Sure, I always get depressed during the...ugh...Holidays, but that doesn't mean that I like to be depressed.  

Lots of dour, stern looking people agreed to star in this monstrosity.  Luke Bilyk gets second billing.  He must have been really desperate for work.

Rock My Heart:  "After an adventurous teen with a heart defect bonds with an unruly stallion."  

A German tearjerker.  I guess Americans don't have a monopoly on depressing movies.

Emilio Sakraya gets second billing.  You can see him in Tribes of Europe, Warrior Nun, and a variety of German romcoms. 

Notes for My Son: "Battling terminal cancer."  

An Argentine tearjerker, with no hunks in the cast, just a lot of dour-looking old people.  

On to Hulu, where my recommendation du jour is Crossed Swords, apparently an Adult Swim series about Lego Medieval knights.  Episode 6: "As the only uncut squire, Patrick is horrified to learn that he must be circumcized to keep his job."

I'm in.

Yes, we see Lego penis.