This is the stereotypic South of Eudora Welty and Mama's Family, where people named Hoyt Fortenberry shop at the Piggly-Wiggly and drink sweet tea on the veranda, where everyone is related to everybody else's great-grand daddy once removed, and where the War means the Civil War...um, I mean the War of Yankee Aggression.
It starts in media res, two years after vampires have "come out of the coffin," har har -- yep, the connection with LGBT people is just that heavy-handed -- due to the invention of artificial blood, brand name True Blood, which some humans have developed a taste for. Snooty fratboy Brett (Josh Kelly, top photo), looking for a store that sells it, learns too late that every long-haired, multi-ringed Goth isn't a vampire; and sometimes chubby rednecks are.
We switch to the problems of Tara, who gets fired from or quits every job because she doesn't abide idiots and her best friend Sookie, who can read minds. Sookie and soon Tara work at Merlotte's Bar, where the owner, Sam Merlotte (Sam Trammell), is in love with her. He won't come out with it, but of course Sookie can read his mind.
The only gay character so far is the bar's swishy cook, Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis), a stereotyped flamboyant, promiscuous queen who claims he's done most of the men in town, and likes to flirt with racist, homophobic rednecks to get them all scared. He doesn't get a boyfriend until late in the series.
That same evening, the bar's other waitress, Maudette, hooks up with Sookie's brother, Jason (Ryan Kwanten). She's a fangbanger, a human who likes sex with vampires, because they get rough. She offers to show him the video, which turns him on so much that he wants to do rough sex, including strangling her...a little too enthusiastically. And she's taping the encounter!
Ryan Kwanten shows his stuff on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends
More after the break
While Sookie is waiting on the snooty Mack and Denise Rattray, a vampire named Bill (Stephen Moyer) comes into the bar, the first they've seen in Bon Temps, Louisiana. They can all tell because of his hypnotic eyes and surly manner. They don't have any blood, so he orders a glass of red wine instead.
While Sookie is fetching it, the Rattrays immobilize Bill with a silver cord, drag him out to the woods, and start draining his blood -- some humans think that vampire blood increases their vitality and sexual potency, so some vampires sell their blood, and others get kidnapped and drained.
Fortunately, Sookie comes to the rescue. While Bill is recuperating, they have a falling in love chat. He points out that her mind-reading powers makes her more than human.
In the morning, brother Jason is arrested for the murder of Maudette. But did he do it, or was it the new vampire, Bill? Or someone else entirely?
I forgot, Sookie and her brother live with their dotty grandmother, who wants to interview Vampire Bill about his experiences in the war for her Daughters of the Confederacy group.
No more subplots in the pilot, but coming up is Todd Lowe as Terry Bellefleur, working as a cook at Merlowe's for 66 episodes.
And Joe Manganiello as Alcide Herveux, a werewolf whom Sookie falls in love with, for 42 episodes. You didn't think it was just vampires, did you? They're going to have fairies and other paranormals before they're through.
Beefcake: Just Ryan Kwanten, and mediated by the girl boobs hanging all over.
Heterosexism: Lots.
Gay Characters: Lafayette, his future "bury your gays" boyfriend, and the vampire King of Louisiana and his "bury your gays" boyfriend.
Will I Keep Watching: Probably not. I don't have time for a lot of new mythology, and the gay connection is a little heavy handed.
See also: Fifteen glorious Gavins and magnificent muscle Munns, with some vampires.The top 15 hunks of the Twilight Saga, with some n*de vampires
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