Who is Theo James, why is he n*de so often, and has he been in anything gay-positive?

  

In White Lotus Season 2, Cameron and Ethan (Theo James, Will Sharpe) and their wives visit the Italian resort, and start flirting with every woman in sight, plus each other. In Episode 4, Cameron even says "I want to do stuff to you."  But it is just queerbaiting; the two never lock lips.  In fact, they hate each other.

You could probably figure that White Lotus, well known for its shocking homophobia, would never portray an actual gay romance.  After all, it was created and written by Mike White, aka The Devil. 

Link to NSFW version

But Theo James is not personally homophobic; he has been interviewed an a dozen gay magazines, he wants to play a gay action-adventure hero, and he was in the running to play gay pop star George Michael.  Let's check his previous work for gay roles

The Time Traveler's Wife (2022) features (straight) lovers stymied by the guy's frequent involuntary time slips.  Heterosexuals all the way down, although it does give us some nice rear and frontals.

Sanditon (2019-22) is an adaption of a novel that Jane Austen left unfinished at her death in 1817. There is actually a gay character, outed in the second season. Theo plays Sidney Parker, whom focus character Charlotte love/hates with the "He's arrogant!" trope.  

In the animated Castlevania (2018-21), Theo plays Hector, whose plot is propelled by that horribly cliched Dead Wife Trope.  

Archive (2020)?  Another guy with a Dead Wife, who he tries to recreate with an android.  Yawn.  I'm beginning to think that it will be tired cliches as well as heterosexuals all the way down.  Are the butts and dicks worth the trouble?

Lying and Stealing (2019)? Caper romance between two thieves.

How it Ends (2018)?  "In the midst of an Apocalypse, a man struggles to reach his pregnant fiance, who is a thousand miles away."  That' actually the motive behind about half of the characters on The Walking Dead: "I'm looking for my wife!"

Before The White Lotus, Theo was most famous for the Divergent series, four movies set in a teen dystopia where people are classified according to their primary virtue: Candor, Dauntless, Erudite, Abnegation, and Amity.  He plays Four, a Dauntless instructor who romances focus character Beatrice. 

Ok, let's try Theo's future projects.  In the upcoming The Gentleman (2024), Theo plays Eddie Halsted, who inherits his father's estate without realizing that it is the front for a drug empire.  And he...falls in love...with...

I give up.

But at least there are lots of Theo James rears and frontals on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

See also: The Resort: Skyler Gisondo disappears at Christmas in a scary Mayan resort.

Bobby Hogan: Christian, Spiderman, Marine, gay teenager, with some significant selfies

"Weird City": Dylan O'Brien and Ed O'Neill Fall in Love

 

Weird City is a streaming series on Youtube (yes, Youtube has its own series now) about a future dystopian city divided by a great wall into the Haves who live Above the Line and the Have Nots who live Below (they thought the audience was too stupid to understand bourgeoisie and proletariat).  I've only seen one episode -- you have to pay for the rest -- but  it isn't exactly Cloud Cuckooland on one side and a post-Apocalyptic nightmare on the other.  Turns out that the real dystopia is Above the Line, where the Haves' every move is controlled by Influencers and Big Brother.  Below the Line is a perfectly pleasant working-class neighborhood, where people care about each other and have values.

Episode 1 drew me in with this photo, of Dylan O'Brien and Ed O'Neill in bed.

Scene 1: Stu (Dylan O'Brien) rushes into the restaurant You Must Eat Here (all Haves must eat there by the end of the month).  Two extremely effeminate guys, doubtless a gay couple, are at the bar, being served Belgian Long Grain Wheat Quintuple IPA and a Pumpkin Saffron Super Double Triple IPA.  Stu joins them and orders a plain old ordinary beer.  He explains that he grew up Below, but his Mom invented an app that removes apps from your brain, so they became rich and moved Above.

Which is a problem: when you're born Above, you're assigned a life mate at birth based on the needs of the community (you can hook up with other people until you actually get married).  But the poor slobs who grow up Below, and those who for some reason dislike their assigned life mate, must rely on the hit or miss "dating" scene.  

A new guy approaches to introduce the One That's the One App, which finds you a compatible life partner.  Stu decides to give it a try.

Scene 2: Stu goes to the lab, watches a commercial, gets his brain probed and DNA extracted, and answers some questions: "What is your favorite number?  What is your favorite food?"  How about asking his sexual orientation, or is everyone pansexual here?  Or assumed heterosexual?

Scene 3: Stu's life mate arrives.  Whoops, it's an old guy, Burt.  Ed O'Neill is 46 years older than Dylan O'Brien, which most people would consider a rather big age gap.  I'm 26 years older than Bob, and people keep mistaking us for father and son. 

Plus they were both expecting girls.  Burt: "I apologize for asking you this, but are you a homosexual?"  Stu: "WHAT???? Of course not!!!!" Ok, I get it.  The scientist didn't ask about Stu's sexual orientation because this is a homophobic society where gay people are shameful, or assumed not to exist.  They've even gone back to the retro homophobic term "homosexual."

Obviously there's been a mixup -- someone recorded the wrong gender.  Not to worry, they'll get their money back.

They start talking -- they're from the same neighborhood Below.  They go down to eat at Al's Diner.  Same favorite foods, same favorite movies, almost a goodbye hug.

Scene 4:  Stu goes back to the company to tell them about the mistake.  Surprise -- Burt is there, too.  They try to talk to Dr. Negari (Levar Burton), but he runs away. "So, want to get lunch?"

Scene 5:  They skipped lunch and had sex instead! (Burt has a surprisingly nice physique for a 75 year old.).  "Had no idea that would happen -- well, maybe some idea."

Montage of the two talking, laughing, walking through the park, cuddling in bed, being playful with ice cream cones.

Scene 6: Stu brings Burt to meet his parents, who are completely nonchalant about him being 40 years older: "I was nervous that you'd be upset about Burt's age." "Are you kidding?  He's great!"  He was nervous about the age, not about Burt being a guy?  I thought being gay was shameful in this world.  Why is everyone so nonchalant about it?  I'm confused.

Scene 7: Burt brings Stu to meet his adult children. The daughter is happy, but son Booj yells "You're not my Mom!" and runs off to play in the back yard. This guy is an adult -- played by 38-year old Chris Witaske  -- why is he acting like a little boy?  Stu buddies up to him. 

This is actually Charlie Hunnan, but he popped up when I searched for Chris Witaske, so close enough. 

Scene 8: Six Months Later.  Stu and Burt, now married, are hanging the Christmas..um... display.  So same-sex marriage is legal in this world?  The guy from Negari Labs appears to tell them there was a mistake: Stu was supposed to be matched with a young woman, and Burt, with an elderly man who lives in a far-off resort town.  They are legally required to separate and hook up with their assigned partners.  Burt's pod leaves next Thursday.

That makes no sense.  This was a match from a private company, so city laws about life partners wouldn't apply.    They were both born Below, so they don't get an official life partner assignment.  And even those people who get one are allowed to change.

Scene 9: Separated, Stu meets his assigned life partner.  Montage of him hating everything about her.  He gets up and rushes to the airport...um, pod-port...to grab Burt before he boards his pod.  They hug and kiss.  

Scene 10: They have moved Below, where the law doesn't apply, so they can stay married.  

I'm still confused.  The story only works if everyone is pansexual, with maybe some sexual preferences, so you are not surprised at getting a male or female match -- it's just not what you ordered.  But two guys are utterly shocked.  Add to that the muddling of societal law and dating app matches, and Stu interacting with the obviously adult Booj as if he were a little kid. Is this a touching love story, or a parody of a love story?  

"The Unlisted": Come for the Australian-Indian Culture, Stay for the Gay Subtexts

In The Unlisted, twelve-year old twins Kal (the cool one) and Dru (the smart one, signified by his glasses) are...

Did I say twelve?  They are played by sixteen-year old Vrund and Ved Rao, who could easily be mistaken for college students, and look decidedly out of place in a school full of 12-year olds.

If you can get past the jarring age discrepancy, the setting in the Australian-Indian community is interesting.  In the first episode, everyone is in a flurry to prepare for Divali.  I liked the scene where the jar of ghee breaks, so they have to run from store to store, but everyone is sold out, except for one shop which won't sell to Kal because he doesn't speak Hindi: "You can't pick and choose your culture."

In the second episode, a mean girl is spying on them,so they invite her into the family store and disgust her with Indian snacks like chili banana chips and nimboo pickles.

In the third episode, it's Multicultural Day, so Grandma introduces the school to the Indian sport of kabbadi.

Why not just make it a sitcom about clashing values of modern and traditional Australian-Indians? But instead we have dystopian sci-fi:

A corporation called The Infinity Group is providing free dental exams to all students, but Dru  is afraid of dentists, so he talks Kal into taking his place.  Tim (Otis Dhanji), whose parents refused to permit the checkup, goes missing.

Later everyone who got a "checkup" freezes in place.  They are being controlled by dental implants!  Plus they are super-strong and fast.

 Dru must pretend that he is being controlled, and get Kal to take his place for the athletic tests, while the boys try to unravel the sinister plot.

Eventually they find allies in their aunt, a doctor who got a job with the initiative without realizing what it was about, and Jiao  (Zachary Wan), whose implant never worked.

And four refugees who knew too much and are now on the run:  three girls and Jacob (Nya Cofie, right), although Gemma (Jean Hinchliffe) is so androgynous that I thought the character was meant to be nonbinary.

Originality of the plot: C-.  It's been done before.  See:  The Tripods.

Beefcake: D.  Most of the actors are too young to be of interest.

Gay characters: A.  The twins have a built-in gay subtext, two of the refugee girls are in a romantic relationship, an adult ally says she was "queer before there was a word for it," and lack of expressed heterosexual interest abounds.

Fade out kiss: C.  Dru states that he and Chloe are "just friends," but Grandma goes on and on about which girl thinks the boys are handsome and wants to date them.

Australian-Indian culture: A+.