When I was growing up in the 1960s and 1970s, Saturday morning tv was strictly for little kids. By junior high, I watched only the live-action programs like
H.R. Pufnstuf, Sigmund and the Sea Monsters, and
Lidsville. By high school, I had abandoned even those.
In the late 1980s, Saturday morning became cool again. Everybody watched
Pee-Wee's Playhouse and
Saved by the Bell. For some reason, most gay men preferred Slater (Mario Lopez, right) to Mark-Paul Goesselaer's prettyboy operator Zack Morris.
Between 1993 and 2001, there was a whole lineup of teencoms to watch with your boyfriend and whatever guy you had brought home to "share" the night before. They all had the about the same plot: a group of high schoolers go out for sports, consider cheating on tests, take part-time jobs, date, and start bands. There was always a Zack Morris clone and a Slater clone, plus sundry stereotyped athletes, nerds, cheerleader-type girls, and brainy-type girls.
Boring stuff. But who was watching for the plots?
1.
Running the Halls starred blond goldenboy Richard Hillman as the Zack Morris clone who got into constant trouble with the vice-principal. Hillman also had small roles in
Detroit Rock City and
Teenage Caveman. He died of AIDS in 2009.
2. California Dreams followed Iowa teens to their new home in California (shades of
Beverly Hills 90210!), where naturally they started a band. It starred Michael Cade's abs.
Fortunately, Book Circus had a full selection of teen magazines with Michael Cade centerfolds.
3. Saved by the Bell: The New Class was set right at Bayside High, with the vice principal and the nerd Screech still there. It changed teen hunks frequently, but Christian Oliver is probably the best-remembered Zack Morris clone.
You can also see Christian Oliver in the 2012 film
Blow Me.
4. Hang-Time was oddly set in small-town Indiana rather than Malibu, and involved basketball rather than surfing. It went through a lot of cast changes, too, with new groups of teen hunks every season. Danso Gordon (left, recent photo) played the Slater clone. Today he performs mostly in evangelical Christian movies like
Heaven is Real. I doubt that he would be happy learning that hundreds of gay men in West Hollywood thought that he was hot.
5.City Guys was set at Manhattan High School (apparently there is only one high school in Manhattan), with a diverse cast of two black guys, not just one, plus the Hispanic Al, played by Dion Basco (far left, from the cast of
Naked Brown Men).
The 80s had a few limited animation man mountains. (He-Man, Blackstar) and the 90s had a Conan show (and a fuckton of Liefeld-pastiche action cartoons) but 90s Saturday morning (Saturday moribund, if you will) was all about three things:
ReplyDelete*Actually somewhat mature comic book adaptations. (That's something we need to discuss: Heterosexism in Bruce Timm cartoons. The Joker has a girlfriend. Robin has a girlfriend who's almost a decade older and was his boss in canon. At the same time Conroy and Hamill play up the sexual tension between Batman and the Joker at cons.) I can't complain too much, given that Robin...Marv Wolfman goes from best Teen Titans to worst Teen Titans pretty rapidly just a couple years prior, and this new era begins with burying his gays in the most spectacularly horrifying way possible in a series that may as well be an event for its length and crossovers.
*Live-action beefcake. This has two genres: Tokusatsu (Power Rangers) and generally comedic shows. The weird thing is, as homophobic as this time is, you get a lot of beefcake, and a lot of guys in pink and purple. There's also no silly rule that men must cover their knees at all times, or cover their torsos at the beach or the pool. And remember, 90% of these actors are over 25.
*Poorly dubbed anime. This is the era of Pokémon and "donuts" (rice balls) after all. Earlier anime was dubbed even worse, but this was when it became prolific. Oh, and lesbians become "cousins" on Sailor Moon, but everyone with half a brain still knows they're lesbians.