Jake Connelly: Delightful Derek from "Stranger Things" hugs Steve, dates Young Will. With a footballer and some ginger chub d*cks

  

Link to the n*de photos

Luke Kokotec, who I profiled earlier, notes that his date at the Stranger Things premiere in December 2025 was Jake Connelly, who played Derek. I thought I'd check to see if it was an actual date, or just two buddies who attended on-set school together. 

Maybe it depends on who you ask.

Jake was born in Arlington Heights, Illinois, a suburb of Chicago, and appeared in commercials like "Two for one windows at Feldco!" and "Don't let your roof ruin your summer!", and a short, Between the Silence, about two elderly ladies becoming friends.

 Showrunner Matt Duffer saw him in a furniture commercial and cast him as one of the next generation of kids who fight the evil Vecna in Stranger Things, Season 5.

He starts out as Dipsh*t Derek, a bully who harasses Holly Wheeler (younger sister of the first generation's Mike, played by Finn Wolfhard).  He trips people, yells at his mother, and tells various kids and adults to "suck my (censored)." 

Left: Finn Wolfhard, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

That was supposed to be the end of his character, but the Duffers were so impressed that they gave him a plot arc: he is being groomed by a mysterious being called Mr. Whatsit.

Mike and his friends discover that Mr. Whatsit is actually Vecna in disguise, and recruit him into the battle.  He becomes a hero and rescues Holly, earning the new name Delightful Derek.  Rescuing a girl is a hetero cliche.

When Vecna is finally defeated, Derek hugs Steve Harrington (Joe Keery) and waves excitedly at Mike, whom he calls his "best friend."  Two queer codes.

In the epilogue, he attends Will and Mike's high school graduation (sitting with Holly), then plays Dungeons and Dragons with the new generation (a boy and two girls). Two hetero codes.

A fan favorite, Delightful Derek  goes to a lot of conventions, and is interviewed on a lot of podcasts. He was a guest on The Tonight Show.  His home town decreed February 17th "Stranger Things Day."  In May 2026, he got to throw out the first pitch at a Cubs game.

 

 

With fitness trainer Chase Bandolik. I thought they were pretending to be a romantic couple, but apparently Chase does the "I got invited," "I didn't" stuff with many people.  I don't know what it means.

More after the break

The mystery of Genoa leads me to collegiate brothers Gavin and Michael M. One is a swimmer, one has n*de photos.

Link to the n*de photos

Often I find a few beefcake photos of an actor online, and download them into a folder to research later.  But this time I have a lot of photos with no identifying information but "Genoa."  Is that his first name, last name, or city?

The file contains several photos of swimming and football teams, all labeled "Genoa."  It looks like our guy is second from the right, in the back row.   

He's not in this photo at all, but the second from the left looks like Christian from New Orleans, whose n*de photo I may have used in an illustration before.

The Genoa football team.  Our guy may be second from the left. 

More Genoa football.  

More after the break

Yuchi Chiu: The n*ked man on Leighton's couch teaches special education, plays gay guys, likes p*nises. With three examples.

  

Link to the p*nises

We're watching Dark Matter (2024-26), starring Joel Edgerton as Jason, as a struggling physics teacher who is kidnapped and zapped into a parallel world -- by himself! The Parallel World Jason invented a device that can zap you between worlds. He wanted Our Jason's wife and kid (the show is aggressively heteronormative), so he decided to force a switch). 

In Episode 1.4, Imposter Jason visits Leighton (Dayo Okiniyi), who funded the device back home. Here he's a partyboy living on his grandpa's trust fund.  As they talk in his swanky apartment, a n*ked person gets up from the couch and walks toward the bedroom.

"That's a n*ked man!" I exclaimed.  "Leighton is gay!"

"No way -- this series is entirely heteronormative," my partner countered. "It must be a woman." But he rewound the sequence.

"Look -- short hair, no hips."  

"I'm not sure.  They're in the background, and the scene lasts for a second."

I had to agree that it was very subtle, easy to miss if you weren't looking for it, but still, a queer code.

The n*ked man is listed on the IMDB as Yuchi Chiu.

Who has a beautiful physique.

According to his resume, Yuchi was born and raised in L.A., but moved to Chicago for college.  After receiving a B.A. in Communication and Commercial Music from Northwestern in 2015, and a M.A. in Special Education from Dominion in 2017, he became a teacher.

This isn't good: in 2017 Yuchi goes to church to hear one of his special education students sing, and hears Christian rapper Chancer give his testimony.  Sounds like our boy is on the fundamentalist side, which usually means homophobic.

Chance the Rapper's p*nis is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends, in case you're interested.

While teaching, Yuchi starred in the short Audition: a down-and-out violinist (Amy Meek) gets with a conductor (Yuchi) to get a chair in his orchestra.

Rather a heteronormative start to your career, buddy. 

And BJ's Mobile Gift Shop: A young hustler (not that kind of hustler) makes the rounds in Chicago.

He also did some Calvin Klein modeling.

In 2022, Yuchi moved into full-time acting, with guest spots on Chicago Med and Stuck in Reality.

In 2023, the shorts Kairos, which seems to be about a father and daughter, and ba.la, about a competitive swimmer with PTSD.

In 2024, the shorts Parting Piece and The Coder, and N*ked Man on Dark Matter.

His backside, anyway.  His p*nis after the break

"Dark Matter": Family Man physicist is trapped in a parallel world. With Edgerton backside, Styx d*ck, and Cass chest

  

Link to the bottoms and d*cks

After finishing Silo Season 3, we checked the other high-concept programs available on Apple Plus, and decided on Dark Matter: a "family man" changes places with his non-family man counterpart in a parallel world. Season 1 premiered in 2024, and Season 2 in 2026.  Sounds ok.

Episode 1.1: "Are You Satisfied with Your Life?"

Scene 1:  A guy with a flashlight walks through a deserted warehouse space, and approaches a triangular structure which is presented as extremely important.  

Cut to "family man" Jason (Joel Edgerton). He wakes up (shirtless shot), kisses his wife Daniela's shoulder, eats breakfast, criticizes his son Charlie's homework, tells Wife Daniela how much he loves her, and kisses her extremely passionately right in front of his son.  They discuss who will drive Charlie to school; he wants to drive himself, with Family Man Jason monitoring. 

Cut to the drive, with the boy not noticing a stoplight and getting yelled at by the driver almost smashed.  

Left: Charlie is played by Oakes Fegley.  His "girlfriend and pr manager," probably just a fan trying to deceive us, says that he "looks like a homos*xual." Make up your mind, is he into you, or is he a gay slur?

On  the show, Charlie's hetero identity is established immediately.    He's depressed because the Girl of His Dreams is dating another boy.

"Then she has bad taste," Dad assures him.  How do you know that her boyfriend is an obnoxious jock?  Wait -- if this won't be a plot point, why mention it?  You don't need to be that eager to assure fans that Charlie isn't gay. 

Next Family Man Jason gets a text from his friend Ryan (Jimmi Simpson, backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends), who has just won a major award for proving that consciousness lies in the prefrontal cortex. That's old news.  It comes with a million dollars and lots of grant money.  Family Man Jason is invited to the celebration tonight.

Left: Jimmi Simpson  makes a lot of gay references on his Instagram, but he has a girlfriend.

Scene 2: Family Man Jason teaching his class in bonehead physics at a horrible community college.  He draws a cat in a box to illustrate Schrodinger's paradox to his bored students.

Meanwhile, Wife Daniela is at work at her art gallery.  How gender polarized: men are into science, women into the arts.

Cut to a dude in a storage facility, keeping track of Jason's movements and holding up a vial of a purple liquid.

Scene 3: At home, Family Man Jason tells his wife how much he loves her, kisses her extremely passionately, and prepares to do stuff with her on the sink -- in front of their son.  Charlie protests, but they tell him to look away.  They're interrupted by a text from Ryan: "Where are you?"

"Oh, Ryan invited me to a celebration of his major award in the bar around the corner, but I love you so much that I'm going to skip it and do stuff in front of our son."

"Nope!  He obviously scheduled the celebration in the crappy bar around the corner instead of someplace nice because he is in love with you, and wants to ensure that you show up.  We can do stuff in front of our son later tonight.  Let's just kiss for ten minutes, and then you can go."

Scene 4: At the bar, Ryan introduces Family Man Jason to his Extremely Important Scientist friends, who look down on him for having a horrible job at a community college.  

Left: The cutest of the Extremely Important Scientists is Ivan (Sam Cass, top photo and left).

Later, Ryan takes Family Man Jason off by himself: "I'm starting a  neurotech company with my million dollar prize money, and I want you to come on board. We need a good physicist."  But none were available, so he's asking Jason? 

 It pay more than the crappy community college, but it's in San Francisco. (Oh, no!  Who would want to move to the center of art, music, literature, and gay culture?).

 A woman comes up and asks to do stuff with Ryan. "Sure, but I'm busy right now. I'll do stuff with you in a few minutes."  

Jason doesn't want to leave his life in Chicago, but he promises to talk it over with his wife.  Wait -- the having sex with a random woman isn't a plot point, either?  You guys are really paranoid about viewers thinking that characters are gay.  Sounds like showrunner Blake Crouch is homophobic, which means we won't get any actual gay characters.

Scene 5: As Family Man Jason walks to his car (wait -- I thought the bar was around the corner, walking distance), a man in a white mask grabs him and forces him to drive to a warehouse, take off his clothes, and walk a long way n*de (except for boxer shorts). 

Then he has to put on new clothes (couldn't you have made him put on new clothes before the walk?  Not that I'm complaining).  

He injects Family Man Jason with something to make him fall asleep, and asks questions like "Are you happy with your life?  Do you wish things would be different if you made different choices?" Shouldn't you have asked that before the guy got too groggy to answer?

More after the break

Evan Mulrooney: Tony's gym boyfriend, an Albanian c*cktwizzler, a Trad Husband, Jar-Jar Binks' hookup. Is he gay or just pretending?

I find a lot of gay actors to profile from the gym buddies that Tony Cavalero posts about.  Today he worked out with Evan, whose Instagram is full of muscle pics and humorous POVS, like "Top Three Spots for a First Date in Wilmington, Delaware." One involves searching for the Mud Man in Dupont Marsh Fields.  I found a Dupont Environmental Education Center, but nothing about a Mud Man cryptid anywhere.

I guarantee that you have no idea what he means by "perfect protein snack."  Hint: it starts off with baked cottage cheese.

But  I need to know if he's an actor -- Tony often works out with civilians.

Success!  11 acting credits listed on the IMDB, more on his professional resume, plus two interviews.

Evan is Evan Mulrooney, who grew up in an "unstable household" in Wilmington, Delaware (he still suffers from general anxiety disorder).  

He attended the Salesian School (private, Catholic) and University of Maryland on a football scholarship, but some torn knees and concussions suggested that sports was not a viable career path.  

After graduation, he  moved to Chicago, where he studied at the Acting Studio  and the Annoyance Theater. 

Evan's theatrical credits include: 

Steamworks: The Musical, about the legendary gay bathhouse

Shitfyre: The Musical, a retelling of the Fyre Fest debacle (according to Google AI, "a disastrous music festival that failed due to poor planning and execution).

It’s Christmas Goddammit!: "a dark comedy about a truly dysfunctional family"

Queer Eye: The Musical Parody, presented by Second City.

At least two gay roles there.  

In 2022, Evan moved to Los Angeles.  He has 11 or 13 on-screen credits, depending on who you believe, including:

Crime boss Joe Bulo as a young man in four episodes of Fargo (2022)

Agron Darke, an Albanian mob enforcer on a 2023 episode of Justified: City Primeval.  The shooting script has him complementing Raylan's hat.  A mark calls him a "no-neck Albanian c*cktwizzler," and his brother Besnik says that "he's sensitive, like a woman."  So maybe he's got some gay hints.

Vinnie Caccimello in four episodes of Only Murderers in the Building (2025).  He's not in the cast list, but he may be the son of missing dry cleaner Nick Caccimello.

The movie Start without Me (2025), not listed in the IMDB: "Adam, a former musician (Finn Wittrock), and Marissa, a flight attendant with marital issues, embark on a life-changing Thanksgiving road trip."  

So Evan played at least one gay-subtext character in his tv work, and has at least one probable n*de photo.

More after the break

Chicago Party Aunt, Episode 1.5: Free-spirit Diane tries to help her gay nephew get his first kiss. Will it be with his dentist?

 

Free spirit paired with stick-in-the mud, "life is a banquet" paired with "that's not a good idea", "it's only 2:00 am" paired with "I have a big test tomorrow," has been traditional comedy since the days of Laverne and Shirley and The Odd Couple, In this case, it's Chicago Party Aunt on Netflix, pairing the free-spirit middle-aged Diane with her stick-in-the-mud 18-year old nephew, Daniel (Rory O'Malley, left). 

 I watched Episode 1.5, "Halloween Circle": Daniel tries to get his first kiss at a Halloween party.   No hope that either of the two regulars will be gay, but there might be some gay friends at the party.

Scene 1: Diane takes Daniel to get his first fake id: you have to order "two Chicago hot dogs" at a restaurant, then go through a secret door through the kitchen, a meat locker, another secret door, and into the basement, where a gangster-type offers the id for "his usual fee": a kidney.  Just kidding: $200.

Scene 2: Breakfast in their apartment. Oatmeal for Daniel,  Kahlua for Diane.  They discuss the upcoming Halloween party at Roscoe's, the best gay bar in Chicago.  Daniel is excited about his "first queer Halloween."  Daniel is gay!  I'm speechless!

Turns out that Rory O'Malley  is gay in real life.  I could have gotten that from the IMDB, which notes that he married Gerold Schroeder in 2014.

Daniel wants to get his first kiss from a random hot guy at the party: "I'll go up to him and say 'Would you like to kiss?."  That won't work, dude.  

Diane gives him some cruising tips: open with a joke, then a compliment, then a smouldering look, then the kiss. 

"I can't stay out late because I have a dentist appointment tomorrow.  Ugh!  I hate it when Dr. Gluck make jokes with his hand in my mouth."

"Cancel it!  Tonight you're going to get more than a hand in your mouth!"   

Scene 3: The hair salon where Diane works. Everyone wearing Halloween costumes. Diane bursts in and asks if they are going to the party tonight.  No, they have other plans.  

So who will Diane party with while Daniel is cruising hot guys?  "Why not ask Gideon?"

"Gideon??? That boring wet blanket?  No way!"  

Gideon, the salon manager (RuPaul), happens to be standing behind her, and criticizes her for her substance abuse and reckless behavior.  Hey, he sounds like Daniel's type.  Hint, hint.

Scene 4:  Daniel working at a coffee shop that sells beet juice and green algae.  I thought he was a teenager?  He tries cruising a hot guy, and fails miserably.   

Meanwhile, Salon Manager Gideon is on a lunch date with a guy he met on a dating app, who is discussing his bizarre diet, then: "So, any fun plans for Halloween?"  

"Face Time with my Mom back in Georgia," Gideon says.  His date is not impressed.

Back at the coffee shop, the manager asks about Daniel's lame cruising attempts.  He says that he's hoping to kiss someone tonight.  Manager advises against taking cruising advice from raunchy Aunt Diane: "She calls me Vanilla Lice, and I'm pretty sure she crop dusted the nut cheese aisle."  I don't know what that is.

More after the break

Burr Tillstrom: The Gay Puppeteer of 1950s Children's Television

Before The Cartoon Network, before Sesame Street, even before The Mickey Mouse Club, in the earliest days of television, kids (and adults) rushed home every afternoon to see the adventures of Kukla, Fran, and Ollie, two puppets and their human host.  They may never have realized that there was a hunky 30-year old man behind the set, manipulating the puppets and providing their voices.

They certainly never knew that he was gay.

Born in 1917, Burr Tillstrom began the art of puppetry in college, and created the perpetually-surprised Kukla in 1936. Other characters followed, but it was the laconic Ollie (Oliver J. Dragon) who became the clown in the comedy team, a formula that extended from Laurel & Hardy to Martin & Lewis, Abbott & Costello, and in children's tv, Rocky & Bullwinkle.

In 1947, he teamed up with the vivacious Fran Allison (1907-1989), and they began the Kukla, Fran, and Ollie tv series, a daily half hour (later diminished to fifteen minutes) on Chicago's WGN.

Themes and storylines were compelling, and not necessarily for kids. They performed mysteries, science fiction, and even the Gilbert & Sullivan operetta The Mikado, with Kukla as Nanki-Poo, Ollie as Ko-Ko, and Fran as Yum-Yum.

The program drew many adult fans, including Orson Welles, John Steinbeck, Lillian Gish, James Thurber, Judy Garland,  Talulah Bankhead, and Broadway composer Stephen Sondheim, who wrote Kukla and Ollie a song, "The Two of You"

During the tv season, Tillstrom lived in Chicago, in an old coach house that he remodeled with the help of his partner, Joseph Lockwood Jr. (left), also the stage manager and the costume designer.  They spent the summers in Europe or in the gay resort of Saugatuk, Michigan


After the program ended in 1957, Tillstrom and Allison continued to perform with the Kuklapolitan players.  They starred in a Broadway show, appeared in Side by Side with Sondheim, hosted the CBS Children's Film Festival, and appeared live at the Goodman Theater in Chicago every Christmas.

Tillstrom died in 1985, before gay identity was regularly acknowledged, so his New York Times obituary and his Wikipedia entry both keep him closeted.  But the gay communities of Chicago and Saugatuck knew.  In 2013 he was inducted in to the Chicago Gay and Lesbian Hall of Fame.

By the way, gay people seem particularly drawn to puppeteering, perhaps because they often live in a world of masks. 

Bronson Pinchot: A gay icon of my childhood turns out to be straight. Then it gets worse. But at least we see his dick

For many years, tv has disguised gay couples as heterosexuals with some other reason for being together -- they work in the same office, or share an apartment, or are brothers.  So censors, skittish network executives, and shrieking homophobic audiences remain clueless, but if you're "in the know," the gay subtext is obvious.

Bronson Pinchot broke into film as Tom Cruise's buddy in Risky Business (1983)..  After several years of playing swishy gay-vague characters, such as Dennis on Sara and Lloyd in After Hours, he was cast in the gay-vague buddy sitcom Perfect Strangers (1986-1993).  He played Balki Bartokomous, an exuberant free-spirit from the faux-Greek country of Mypos, who descends upon his stick-in-the mud distant cousin Larry (Mark Linn-Baker) in Chicago.  You can anticipate the the standard "let's do something wacky"/"but I have a dentist appointment" plotlines.

It's supposed to be a brief visit, but the two end up falling in love, their affection explained as fraternal love, and Balki stays on.

I watched during the first season when Perfect Strangers led into Head of the Class and Night Court on Wednesday nights.  A surprising number of plotlines could be read as negotiating a same sex romance.

Larry: "Balki is cute and all, but how can I build a future with someone who doesn't even know how to fill out an IRS Form 1088-B?" 

Balki: "Larry is good in bed, but he's so shy and reserved. How can I draw him out of his shell?" 

Apparently the network had a problem: the guys were too obviously a gay couple.  So during the second season plotlines increasingly involved dating girls, culminating in steady girlfriends Jennifer and Mary Anne (Melanie Wilson, Rebeca Arthur).

Obviously a screen.  Could they be sitting farther apart on that couch?

More after the break.  A lot more.

Stephen Grush: From Pericles to Ryan Phillippe, with gay subtexts and nude photos of practically everybody

 

Stephen Louis Grush has over 30 credits on the IMDB, often in projects that emphasize gay subtexts, or texts.

In Catch Hell (2014), two toughs (Stephen Louis Grush, Ian Barford) kidnap a Hollywood actor (Ryan Philippe) with the intent of torturing and killing him.  They do a lot of torturing, but Junior (Stephen) also falls in love with him.

In Gracepoint (2014), Stephen plays a plumber's apprentice who may be gay, accused of murdering a small boy.

In a 3-episode story arc on Rectify (2016), focus character Danny (Adan Young) is out of prison and living in a halfway house.  His roommate Manny (Stephen) walks around naked and masturbates in front of him; this is particularly upsetting because he was repeatedly raped in prison.  But Manny won't stop.  Finally Danny tells the house leader about it, expecting the guy to be kicked out.  Instead, they give him a new roommate.

 Stephen graduated from Roosevelt University in 2006 with a B.F.A. in Theater Performance.  Primarily a theatrical perfomer, he has appeared on the Chicago stage in The Seagull, Pericles, The Tempest, Lifeguard, Sex with Strangers, The Last of the Boys, and some plays without homoerotic content.  Plus he is the artistic director of XIII Pocket, which produces and performs original plays by Chicago-area playwrights.

There are nude photos of Stephen in the NSFW version of this post.

The Land of Ziggy Zaggy

 

When I was in kindergarten, first, and second grade, we lived in Racine, Wisconsin, 70 miles north of Chicago.   I have only a few memories from that period: going to the beach a few blocks from our house, going to the zoo, marrying the boy next door, my second grade teacher making me stand in the corner for refusing to square dance (she wouldn't believe that it was forbidden for Nazarenes, and at the age of 7 I was in no position to ask the preacher to telephone her).

And a very weird memory of my Dad being proud of me for watching a children's tv program.

Dad was in his late 20s, just out of the Navy, rather athletic, a stalwart Democrat and an avid Nazarene.  He worked on the assembly line at the J. I. Case Company, a job he would keep for the next 30 years.

The memory is vague:  Dad is sitting on the couch, half reading the newspaper, half snoozing, so he must have just gotten home from work, around 4:00 pm.  My brother and I are watching tv.  

Mom comes in from the kitchen and asks "What do you want to watch now?  Romper Room?"

"No," I say.  "The Land of Ziggy Zaggy."

Dad looks up.  "Ziggy Zaggy?  What kind of kookie show is that?"

Mom changes the channel, and we see a woman walking onto the stage, singing about the mystical land.

Dad laughs.  "Ok, I get it now!  You're starting early, just like your old dad!  A chip off the old block!  Come up here and sit by me."

I sit on the couch, and he puts his arm around me.  I'm thrilled.  Dad is usually kind of critical,but today I'm a chip off the old block!  I did something right, something that made him proud of me. But what?

50 years later, I don't remember anything about the show except for a woman singing an invitation to visit "The land of Ziggy Zaggy."  That title doesn't exist, but after a few searches on alternates (zaggo, zongi, zuggi), I found it:

It was a local Chicago children's program, The Land of Ziggy Zoggo. Also called The Nancy Berg Show, after the host.  

There's a full episode on youtube.  Very amateurish, painted backdrop for a set, only one performer.  Three sketches, about 5 minutes each.

1. Miss Nancy visits a Middle Eastern country, where she meets a Go-Go Genie (herself) selling magic carpets in a parody of talky used-car salespeople.  She buys the carpet, but it doesn't fly!  She criticizes herself for being conned, then kicks the carpet.  Now it works!  She then flies through the clouds while singing. 

2. The kimono-clad Miss Sukayaki (Nancy again), with a stereotyped "Ah so" accent, goofs on the  "ancient Japanese custom of flower arrangement." 

3. Miss Nancy flies a balloon to the African jungle to show film footage of various animals: a rhinocerous, a lion, a leopard.

No beefcake, no buddy-bonding, actually no male characters, but the exotic locations must have been appealing to me as a kindergartener.  And maybe the hint of social satire: you may get conned by a fast-talking salesperson.

But why was Dad so pleased?  Why was I "starting early" and a "chip off the block" for wanting to watch The Land of Ziggy Zoggo?

After watching the episode, I conclude that he was pushing heteronormativity at  me.  He assumed that, at the age of  4 1/2, I was crushing on Miss Nancy.  

Gay Symbolism in Chicago

I went to high school in the midst of the disco era, when everyone was carrying around boom boxes, practicing complicated dance moves, and listening to songs about the night life:
I love the night life, I want to boogie on the disco floor.
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother, you're staying alive
I should be dancing

And the groups we listened to were all flash and glitter, with bare chests and bulges, promising crazy nights of sexual excess, flirting with androgyny, asking us to wonder "Could he be gay?"

Except for Chicago, some guys with guitars and drums, wearing regular  shirts and jeans -- no bare chests, no bulges.

No androgyny, all married to women and following sports.

 Their no-nonsense, hetero manly albums (mostly entitled Chicago) had a subdued beat impossible to dance to and lyrics that you actually had to listen to in order to understand, mostly stories about pain and loss.

And, paradoxically, obviously without their intention, full of gay subtexts.  Girls rarely mentioned.  The lost love could be male or female.

April 1975, just after Dan and I broke up, "Old Days":
Take me back to the world gone away
Memories
Seem like yesterday

August 1975, the beginning of my sophomore year at a new high school,  "Brand New Love Affair":

It's no good to be all alone

When you hurt a friend

And you both feel empty

What I'd give to erase the pain

Will we ever make friends

June 1976, just after my date with the King of Sweden, "Another Rainy Day in New York City"

Another rainy day in New York City

Softly sweet, so silently it falls

As crosstown traffic crawls

Memories in my way in New York City,

July 1976, just after my first sexual experience, "If You Leave Me Now"

If you leave me now, you take away the biggest part of me.

September 1977, the beginning of my senior year"Baby, What a Big Surprise"

, Yesterday it seemed to me

My life was nothing more than wasted time

But here today you've softly changed my mind

May 1978, during the angst-filled month before I figured "it" out, "Take Me Back to Chicago"

Take me back to Chicago
Lay my soul to rest
Where my life was free and easy
Remember me at my best

Chicago, the Musical: Skip the Movie, See it on Stage

I hate the movie version of the musical Chicago (2002), directed by Rob Marshall.  It's set in the Jazz Age, but there are no...

scenes set in  speakeasies or vast Great Gatsby-style estates, or streets clogged with Model-Ts and movie marquees advertising Rudolph Valentino.   It's completely stage-bound.

There's no beefcake, not even an undone button, just lots of women in slinky leather outfits gyrating like exotic dancers.

And the lesbian angle is only hinted at, briefly.

The plot: during the 1920s, Roxy Hart (Rene Zellweger) is arrested for murdering her lover, and sent to Cook County Jail in Chicago to await her trial.   She becomes a cause celebre, and draws the attention of glitterati lawyer Billy Flynn (Richard Gere), to the consternation of his previous client, celebrity murderess Velma Kelly (Catherine Zeta-Jones).

Velma and Roxy begin competing to see who can gain the most celebrity. When another murderess hits the news, Roxy ups the ante by getting pregnant (or pretending to).  Velma counters by sabotaging Roxy's case.

Finally Roxie is acquitted, but she misses the limelight, so she and Velma team up to do a celebrity-murderess act.

Yawn.  Why couldn't Richard Gere at least have taken his shirt off?

Fortunately, the stage versions take care of those problems.

Well, it's still stage bound, of course, but prison matron Mama Morton is definitely a lesbian, who helps Roxy in exchange for sexual favors.

And there's lots of beefcake, male dancers along with the women strutting their stuff with fedoras and jazz hands.


Not to mention shirtless, muscular Billy Flynns played by Jerry Orbach, Ben Cross, James Naughton, Christopher Sieber, Patrick Swayze, Billy Ray Cyrus, Taye Diggs, Adam Pascal, Mark Fisher, Joel Warren, Tony Yasbeck, David Hasselhoff, Tom Wopat, and Gregory Harrison.

You're not going to see a high school or community college production anytime soon, but it's worth checking out in the various national tours.