Gemstones Episode 3.8, Continued: Kelvin's tender bits, Peter's van, Chuck's butt, and coming out to the world

 

I know this review is out of sequence, but I've been working on it all morning, so it's going up anyway.

This is the G-rated version.  Link to the version with the dicka and butts.

More Militia Squabbles: Under the overpass, the militia gets more chicken, this time from Fancy Nancy's, but the portions are still too small.  Plus they've accomplished none of their goals due to Peter's mismanagement.  They're going to rename themselves the Keepers of Yesterday's Monuments, to key into their interest in (Confederate) monuments.  

They kick Uncle Peter and Chuck out of the group, taking all of their money, but letting them keep the truck full of explosives.  

Hating on Eli:  The siblings agree that "Dr. Gemstone does not love us.  He is interested only in money."  In the Executive Board Room, they speak to him through Baby Billy, expressing anger that he refused to pay the ransom.  

Judy: "You left us to die! Uncle Peter would have killed any one of us, or all three, or he'd just mutilate us and send you our body parts."

Kelvin specifies: "Nipples, penis, butthole shavings -- all our tender bits."  Interesting --the three body parts he finds erotic. We can also divide it up by sibling: Judy's nipples, Jesse's penis, Kelvin's butthole.  We all know that Kelvin is a bottom, so he'd be worried about that.

Jesse has always known that Eli doesn't love him, but he figured that it was all about the church.  Now he knows he was wrong -- it's all about the money.

Eli protests: it's not about the money.  It's always been about his children.  

Hah!  They're not buying it. 

Suddenly Eli is happy because the siblings are working together, cooperating, not competing.  If it takes hating on him for them to work as a team, fine.   

Showtime:  The Sunday of the siblings' return to the church.  Crowds waiting to greet them.  A woman holds a sign: "The Gemstone 3 -- we missed you."  The ticket booth announces: "The return of the Gemstone children -- praise be!"  At the ministers' meeting earlier, the siblings tried the "We Three and Thee" catchphrase, with disastrous results.  Now the congregation is embracing The Three. 

The siblings say goodbye to their partners in the hallway outside their dressing rooms.  Jesse/Amber and BJ/Judy kiss.  Keefe moves in for a kiss, but Kelvin blocks him with a forehead press.  Keefe looks very amorous, as if still caught up in the afterglow from whatever they did last night.  Kelvin looks apologetic: "Sorry, dude, not in front of my family and the gossipy church staff."  

Personal note: I get it: I have never kissed a boyfriend in public.  Even holding hands makes me nervous: you never know who is itching to commit a hate crime.

This scene received a lot of misdirection in the trailers.  First you didn't see who Kelvin was saying goodbye to, so you would think it might be Taryn.  Then the lighting makes a square white patch appear on Keefe's face, as if he was injured during the rescue attempt.

Jesse signals "showtime!", and the siblings join him to walk down the hall to the sanctuary.  Amber is waiting for the partners by the hallway leading to the pews. Keefe and BJ stand there, watching.

Suddenly Kelvin backs up, then turns around and walks quickly to Keefe.  What's going on?  Did he forget something?  He pushes Keefe against the wall and kisses him.  There are actually two takes, from the left and right sides, with different body positions.  

When the kiss ends, Kelvin walks back to the siblings. Both Jesse and Judy give him congratulatory smiles.  He is grinning, pleased with himself.  He adjusts his glasses.  

The kiss after the break

The Kiss: That kiss has been analyzed backward and forward, frame by frame, through body language, staging, costuming, theme, symbolism, its place in the episode, its place in the series. 

Structurally, it's simple: the kiss ends the "are they or aren't they?" game and establishes the guys as a canonical gay couple.  Before, the actors hinted in interviews and their social media pages, but never actually said it; afterwards, "yeah, Keefe is the love of my life. Hasn’t it been obvious? »

This was very important to LGBTQ fans, who continued to fear queer-baiting.  Granted, the guys displayed over 200 queer codes, so making them straight would be bizarre, but it could happen: "Keefe, I'm in love with Taryn, but you're my best friend and my brother.  I can't imagine my life without you."

But what about in-universe?  Discussing it, the actors seem surprised that it was taken as a big deal: "He was fondling my bare butt in an earlier scene, and you thought the kiss was significant?"  Is the kiss in fact insignificant, something that the guys do all the time? Is it their first? Has Kelvin recognized that he is gay?  Have he and Keefe begun a romantic relationship?  Are they outing themselves to the family?  Admitting it to each other? 

None of the explanations entirely fit the text that we see.  Kelvin can't be outing himself to the family, since he doesn't look at them on the way back to check on their reaction.  But it can't be the beginning of a romantic relationship, since they've been in love since Season 1, and sex has been shown or implied for at least that long. But it can't be just a kiss, since Judy, Jesse, and BJ all look like they're proud of him.  

We can find the answer in Kelvin's central conflict for the season, and actually for the whole series: he is probably the most famous youth minister in the world. and a closeted gay man.  Out to his family -- although they follow a "don't ask, don't tell" policy.  Certainly not out to the world.  He saw with Keefe what would happen: accusations of pedophilia, the family turning against him, losing his job, his ability to do the Lord's work, even his identity.He's gone back and forth on how open to be, holding hands with Keefe one moment and calling him a dude-bro the next, giving him a wedding ring and then pretending that they are just coworkers, starting a sex cult and then withholding sex altogether.  With this kiss, he has come out to the world. 

Fan speculation about whether they were a gay couple or not ended abruptly.  A few hold-outs argued that they have a romantic but not a sexual relationship, or that Kelvin is transgender, or that they were just pretending to be gay.  But the overwhelming majority of fans, and media sites, agreed that the question was answered by a kiss.

The siblings go on stage amid zapping lasers and the song "So Alive."

When there is nothing left to say /  And all the clouds have faded away

And my mind wanders out there. just to be there in the morning.

With the sun streaming through the trees / There ain't no place I'd rather be.

We see the siblings hold hands, interspliced with shots of the militia being arrested and placed in handcuffs. BJ and Keefe are sitting together, with Amber and the kids elsewhere. Keefe aggressively points to Kelvin on stage; his finger seems to have grown, in sharp contrast to his meek pointing from the Season 2 Finale. Other than yet another evocation of anal sex, this gesture signifies that he has taken charge of the relationship, and we finally know for sure what kind of relationship it is.  The end.

This feels a lot like a season finale, but remember, Peter is still a threat.  And what about the old Dusty Daniels plotline? And Bible Bonkers?  It's not all about Kelvin and Keefe, right?  

The tender bits are on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.