We've had a lot of tv series and movies about ghosts and humans interacting in a haunted house, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, Ghost (UK), Ghost (US), The Haunted Hathaways, and on and on. Will The Haunted Hotel (2025), on Netflix, be unique enough to break away from the pack?
The premise: When her older brother Nathan (Will Forte) dies, single mom Katherine (Eliza Coupe) inherits his hotel -- which is haunted by numerous spirits, some fully sentient, some just repeating the moment of their death, plus goblins, demons, a Cthulhu-being -- and Nathan! They try to fix up the hotel and bring in some human guests, which is problematic with ghosts bursting out of every crevice.
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The kids are
1. Preteen Esther (Natalie Palamides), who wants to exploit the ghosts for profit (think Louise on Bob's Burgers).
2. Abaddon, Prince of the Dark Realm, currently trapped in the body of a 17th century boy ("This vessel requires Froot Loops").
3. 13-year old video-game nerd Ben (Skyler Gisondo). After five photo collections, I've about run out of shirtless photos.
In Episode 1.1, Ben is heterosexualized when he falls for a ghost girl who has been stuck in the hotel for 90 years "in a dress I hate." When they touch hands, they explode in...well, you can figure it out.
But earlier, when his sister teases the ghost Stabby Pete, Ben yells after him "I'd let you stab me!" Why does he invite a ghost to stab him? Is he equating stabbing with penetration of another sort? That's the sort of potential queer code that requires further research, so I'm reviewing Episode 7: "Seven Deadly Bens."
Scene 1: While his sister Esther teaches Abaddon, Prince of the Dark Realm, to play Connect Four, Ben and Mom are going through the bills. They have enough money to pay the dentist. "Did he say anything about me?" Ben asks anxiously. "He doesn't respond to my texts."
"You shouldn't be texting your dentist so much," Mom cautions. Trying to discourage his crush on the older man? Another queer code!
In the B Plot, Uncle Nathan keeps falling through floors. Ghosts should be corporeal enough to walk on floors, sit on chairs, lie on beds, and so on, so this is a big problem. I won't have enough space, so I'm skipping it.
Scene 2: Ben is trying to impress the hunky handyman who is replacing the front door after a ghost problem. Uh-oh, he says the door will "settle," but it's obviously still broken.
Mom yells at Ben for not forcing the guy to finish the job. "How was I to know? I've never fixed a door before."
"Why can't you be more confident?" When she leaves, Stabby Pete appears: "That was brutal. I stab people's bodies, but your mom stabbed your existence."
Depressed, Ben goes into a forbidden room, looks in a mirror attached to an old wardrobe, and wishes he was more confident. Suddenly a Confident Ben pops out! "These calves are my best feature," he tells Original Ben, "Followed by hair, eyes, and personality." Dude, you have no calves. You have straight cartoon legs.
Scene 3: They explain to Mom that there are now two of them. She insists that they merge, but they have no idea how. Going into the wardrobe doesn't work.
This could be a problem. What if Original Ben is slowly dying?
Suddenly Scared Ben emerges. And others.
More after the break
Scene 4: Lunch with Free Spirit, Magician, Cat, and Dad Bens doing their things.
"So, who's sleeping in my bed tonight?" Original Ben asks.
"Should be me," Horny Ben suggests. "But we won't be doing much sleeping, right, Magician Ben?" What...um...do you have in mind?
The title says there are seven, but I count eight: Original, Confident, Cat, Magician, Horny, Dad, Scared, Free Spirit.
Scene 5: The Bens (except for the Original) go to the handyman's house to convince him to return and fix the door, using their special skills. Cat Ben hisses. Magician Ben does a magic trick. Dad Ben: "We're not mad, just disappointed." Horny: "I hope you're DTF." Hey, you're under age, buddy.
Oh, he means "Down to Fix," har har.
The handyman agrees to return and fix the door.
Scene 6: Mom has warmed up to the Bens, and wants them to stick around. Original feels left out. When he leaves for his piano lesson, he peeks through the window to see the others dancing around Mom.
When he returns, the other Bens accost him, theorizing that the wardrobe split off all of the good parts of Ben, leaving the Original with the worst parts. They can only merge if they destroy the worst parts by killing him. Does that make sense? I think they just want to kill him.
Mom helps him escape, while the Bens pop up with threats. Dad: "No running in the house." Magician: "Don't disappear." Horny: "I'm horny." Not threatening, buddy.
They discover that what happens to one, happens to all of them, so they're stuck. No hurting each other.
Scene 7: Original Ben suggests that they can re-integrate if they all kiss.
They circle, hands on each other's bottoms, and each faces his neighbor on the right and the left and kisses him on the mouth. Mom doesn't like watching, maybe because Ben is really kissing himself (chill out. lady: the boys look different and have different personalities, so they might as well be different people).
The scene is staged as heartwarming. not humorous. The background song is "Return to Innocence," by Enigma (1993):
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend. That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
I don't know how innocent it is, with all those hands squeezing bottoms. When it doesn't seem to be working, Horny Ben suggests, "Maybe we need to do it more." Original Ben likes the idea, and they kiss again.
Finally Mom has had enough, and drags them upstairs to squeeze into the wardrobe. After a lightning strike, Ben emerges "Benner than ever," with all of his best parts. He is confident, free-spirited, catlike, a nurturer (like Dad Ben), a performer (like Magician Ben), and a boy who likes to kiss boys (like Horny Ben). Except...wait, what happened to his curiosity?
Coda: Curious Ben got separated from the group, and is still intact. He floats away on a raft to have Huckleberry Finn-style adventures. The end.
Beefcake: None. Horny Ben has an open shirt.
Heterosexism: Ben's hand-holding in Episode 1.1. Mom goes on a date later on.
Gay Characters: Nathan is middle aged with no wife or kids, and expresses no heterosexual interest in the episodes I watched.
The boys kissing was about the most romantic interaction I've ever seen in a cartoon, and a big queer moment. They may queerbait later on, but I'd be surprised if Ben isn't canonically gay or bi.
My Grade: A-.
Left: Jimmi Simpson, who plays Abaddon.
See also: "Craig of the Creek": Silver Fist gets a sidekick, and the gay kid gets a boyfriend
The Four Seasons: Elitist New Yorkers discuss True Love, with a gay couple, a lumberjack, Vivaldi, and a n*de Len Cariou. With Will Forte.
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