The X-Files: Only Heterosexuals Believe

The X-Files (1993-20002) came on Sunday nights in the vicinity of The Simpsons, and I'm a big fan of the paranormal, so I watched.  It was about two paranormal investigators working for the FBI: True Believer Fox Mulder (David Duchovny, then known primarily for the sex drama Red Shoe Diaries) and skeptic Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson, then relatively unknown).

They worked on "monster of the week" cases, like a serial killer who can slide under doorways or a little girl who is the reincarnation of a slain police officer, while investigating the Big Question: what happened to Fox's little sister, who vanished from their home when he was a kid?

 He believes that she was abducted by aliens, but the truth turns out to be bigger, vaster, scarier -- and much more convoluted -- than anyone could imagine, drawing on government conspiracies, cloning, and who knows what else?  Frankly, I don't really remember the truth.  I just remember so many horrible things happening to Scully, rape, abduction, cancer, murder of her sister, death of her child, more abductions, that it became painful to watch.

Though I liked the episode where Michael Emerson, later head of the evil Others on Lost, conjures up real-life versions of The Brady Bunch to keep him company.

In spite of their ongoing insistence that they were "friends," the Powers That Be couldn't abide platonic male-female relationships, so they fell in love, hugged and kissed, and had a child together (or two, depending on whether you're counting both real and fake, alien, and demon-possessed Mulders).

I don't remember any gay characters, though I am told that the episode "All Things" contains an unstated lesbian relationship  Otherwise Mulder and Scully are not aware of the existence of gay people.  In "Gender Bender" (January 21, 1994), a serial killer seduces and kills both men and women.  But wait...how could he seduce a man?  Scully suggests that he may wear women's clothes, but  Mulder rejects this possibility out of hand -- it's impossible for any man be fooled by drag!

But how else could he lure a man into a sexual encounter?  They are dumfounded.    Until they discover that the being changes sex at will, becoming a man to seduce the women, and a woman to seduce the men. I guess same-sex behavior doesn't exist after all.

There was some beefcake, bulges, underwear shots, and semi-nudity, if you're into Duchovny, or his bear boss Skinner (Mitch Pileggi, left).

David Duchovny is not exactly a gay ally; although he was invited to Outfest Legacy in 2007, he made the oddly homophobic request that someone cover his daughter's eyes so she couldn't see the movie clips.  Did he think that all gay movies are pornographic?

Gillian Anderson made headlines in 2012, in an interview in Out magazine, in which she said she had a lesbian relationship in high school.  But only guys for the last couple of decades.