The Claus Family (2020): A boy who hates Christmas discovers that he is the grandson of Santa Claus, and will have to take over when Grandpa dies. Whoops, there goes his singing career!
Sounds a bit treacly, but it's in Flemish (IMDB says Dutch, but Flemish is a separate language). It's Belgium, my third favorite country in Europe. And teenage actor Mo Bakker posts shirtless instagram photos and has TikToks labeled with LGBT, so....
Scene 1: Santa Claus finishes up another run. He lives in an ordinary apartment, not a North Pole workshop surrounded by elves. Meanwhile, the depressed Jules and his family (Mom, Grandma, and little sister Norah, all blonde) drive through the snowy streets of the beautiful old Medieval town of Bruges, Belgium. Jules covers his ears as they pass carolers singing a depressing Christmas song (I do the same thing!).
They arrive at the apartment, and start unloading the car. Grandma continues to complain about this crazy plan of moving to Belgium. Mom basically says: "My husband died, and we need a fresh start, so f*k off!"
Scene 2: They start unpacking. Sister Norah wants to know where the Christmas decorations are. Mom stares in shock, and Jules yells: "No! We're not celebrating! I'm done with Christmas."
Nothng wrong with that. Not everyone has happy childhood memories of That Holiday.When the neighbors, Ella and Steph (Wim Wilaert, left) drop by with Christmas cookies, Jules runs to his room and has a tantrum. I get haitng Christmas, but aren't you overreacting a bit?
I guess not: his Dad died last Christmas Eve. He flashes back to Christmas Past: Dad explains that the lights on the tree represent the sun, which is hidden during the winter but always comes back to us. Darkness never wins; there is always a new dawn. The pagan roots of the holiday! Genius!
Scene 3: Breakfast. Grandpa is going to babysit while Mom goes to work (at a cookie factory). Jules resists -- that old geezer? But he doesn't get a vote, so it's off to Grandpa's toy store (the boy doesn't want to spend the day in a toy store? Maybe he thinks he's too old?).
A couple of customers come in. The teddy bear is broken. The puzzle has missing pieces. What is this, the Island of Misfit Toys? And the snow globe -- "Hands off! Not for sale! Get away!" So why do you have it out with the merchandise?
When Grandpa isn't looking, Jules examines the forbidden snow globe. Zap -- he's in Brussels! Zap -- China, where he's almost hit by a car! Zap -- the ocean! He loses the globe in the deep water and has to dive for it. This is more exciting than I anticipated. Zap -- to Santa Claus's apartment. Wait -- those are pictures of him and his family. Grandpa is Santa Claus! And back to the toy store.
Jules confronts Grandpa, who denies it at first, but finally comes clean. Then he goes to the other room and collapses (off camera).
Scene 4: Mom (Suzanne) at work. The supervisor snits the rules: no jewelry, no personal phone calls, no bathroom breaks without permission, no talking, no happy thoughts, no developing new cookies. Your job is to pack boring, flavorless cookies into boxes so people can buy them to give as last-minute gifts when they can't think of anything better. She goes on to yell at Farid (Issam Dakka) for being out of uniform.
Suddenly Suzanne gets a phone call: Grandpa Claus is in the hospital! Farid offers to drive her.
Scene 5: At the hospital. Jules stares at Farid suspiciously: "Mom is replacing Dad already! Can this Christmas get any worse?"
Grandpa hurt his shoulder. He's going to be fine, but the doctor says he has to slow down and avoid stress. But when Jules visits, he starts complaining: He's Santa Claus! He has a billion toys to deliver! It's unclear whether Suzanne knows his secret identity or not.
Scene 6: Mom has to go back to work, so she gets the neighbor, Ella, to babysit. Ella is only 15. Isn't that the same age as Jules? Is he going to get a heterosexual crush? Nope, she just brings him a sandwich.
Scene 7: Jules returns to the hospital, and catches Grandpa trying to sneak out. A hospital is not a prison. You're free to leave at any time, even if the doctors advise against it. Jules offers to help deliver the toys (just this once), so Grandpa can rest. He hates Christmas, but family comes first.
Scene 8: Discharged, Grandpa returns to the toy store. Jules offers to stay with him; he doesn't want to stay home, because it's just girls (
girls, yuck!). The training begins: Santa's workshop is inside the snow globe, staffed by miniature people who are famous in Belgium (this may be the actor playing Holgar).
Grandpa and the staff argue about whether to tell Jules the truth. "He hates Christmas! He'll never accept it!" "He'll come around. It's his destiny!" It's tough being the Chosen One.
The toys appear in rows of glass cases, like an old-fashioned automat. They search for each child's request and pop it into a bag. Wow, Tommy wants a princess doll wearing a pretty dress. How gender-neutral! It seems like a time-consuming process, but they have several days, not just one night (that should be enough to do Europe). They also deliver candy; feel free to sample all you want, not like that soulless cookie factory.
Scene 9: Suzanne at work at the soulless cookie factory. She calls the toy store; no answer. Where could Grandpa and Jules be? Farid drops by with bad news: cookie sales are way down, so the company might fold, and they'll all lose their jobs. Gee, I wonder where this is going.
I'll stop the scene-by-scene there.
Beefcake: None.
Other Sights: Mostly the same street.
Heterosexual Romance: Suzanne and Farid, probably, but it's very understated; a couple of hugs, one holding-hands scene. He could just as easily be a friend. Jules bonds with Ella, but treats her as a friend, not a "girl of his dreams" crush.
Gay Characters: When one of the little people comes to Jules' room to talk to him, she's surrounded by his GI Joe dolls (or a European version). Two have their shirts off, one very prominent, the other in the background. The implication, obviously intentional, is that Jules removed the shirts of his GI Joe dolls to see their muscular physiques.
Hating Christmas. I understand that a Christmas-themed movie must result in everyone loving Christmas, but still, I thought that there should be some accommodation for those of us who don't like the holiday, or who don't celebrate it, like Farid.
My Grade: A
Update: In The Claus Family 2 (2022), Jules still doesn't display any heterosexual interest. He speaks to Ella only once; her main job is to conspire with Grandma to try to push Mom and Farid together -- until we discover that Farid is gay, and has a partner (they even kiss).
Update again: In The Claus Family 3 (2022), Jules still doesn't display any heterosexual interest. A girl about his age is working at the ski lodge where the family is spending the holidays, but he doesn't give her a second glance.
See also: Mo Bakker: Santa Claus's grandson and his boyfriend cruise in Kenya, cuddle in Greece. With bonus Belgian cocks
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