Bleu Landau: The EastEnders bad boy grows up, plays for Sheppy United, lives in a world of men. With his tree trunk and Keanu's backside and d*ck

Link to the n*de dudes

This guy appeared among the new photos on one of my male celebrity sites.  I like your retro 1950s hairstyle and tight chest, buddy, but to get a profile, you have to be an actor or former actor, and  answer "yes" to at least one of these questions.

1. Are you gay in real life?

2. Have you played gay characters?

3. Do you have a n*de photo available?

A little research makes the answer to #1 obvious.  Very cool for your boy to keep doing that while you're being photographed.

 

You moved your hand away just before the cell phone click? Might as well leave it there; this looks like a private men-only party, so no one cares.

#1 is answered, but what about #2: any gay characters?

Bleu Landau (nice name) was born in Bexley, south London, in 2005, and raised on the Isle of Sheppey, Kent.  In 2015, he landed his first on-sceen acting gig, playing Dennis Richman, Jr. on the soap EastEnders.  He stayed for 231 episodes, through 2021.  

The son of Sharon Watts and Dennis Rickman, who was murdered before he was born, Denny enters the story when he is kidnapped on the day of his Mum's wedding (by the groom!), then rescued by Mum's ex-lover Phil (Steve McFadden).  They live with Phil for awhile, and then with the younger brother of Phil's enemy (Scott Maslen, left), who teaches him to box.  Then back to Phil.

Dennis gets into many fights at school, notably with Bobby Beale (Clay Milner Russell), after accusing him of murdering his half-sister.  This leads to an auto accident, a severe injury, and a new guardian, who abuses him.  And back to Mum Sharon and Phil.

Denny's life goes on like that, more and more violent, with gangs and drugs, plus various abusive guardians, injuries, assaulting pregnant women (twice), spying on girls in the locker room, being kidnapped (twice), having girlfriends with incurable diseases, and discovering the truth about who murdered various acquaintances (lots of times).

Left: Keanu (played by Danny Walters) helps Stepdad Phil with a robbery, then goes to work at his auto shop.  He saves Denny from a gang, and has an affair with Mum Sharon, who kidnaps him.  Just go with it. 

In 2020, main protagonist Ian Beale discovers that Denny was responsible for putting his son in the hospital,  and traps him on the lower deck of a boat to get revenge.  But the boat sinks (due to Keanu and Phil fighting), and Ian is unable to free him in time.  This happens while Mum Sharon is giving birth to Denny's brother, which could be either Keanu or Phil's.

In 2021, a baby is left on Sharon's doorstep. Various men are suspected of being the father, but it turns out to be Denny's

Well, it was a soap opera.  What did you expect?

More after the break.  

Dylan Everett: The depressed Degrassi teen buddy-bonds with three gay guys, wears tight jeans, joins the army. With a lot of backsides and a Dylan d*ck

 

Link to the n*de Dylan

I'm not usually into backsides -- I prefer the side that with the chest, abs, and beneath the belt stuff  -- but the backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends is a thing of beauty.  It belongs  Dylan Everett, then 26, who you probably know as Campbell Saunders on the Canadian teen soap Degrassi: The Next Generation. 

 Cam appears in Season 12 (2012-13) as a "good-hearted, gentle, nice, shy, cool, and sweet" hockey player who rejects an offer of friendship from the gay kid Tristan, for fear of being assumed gay himself, but then apologizes.  They hang out, and he begins dating Tristan's friend Maya.  But anxiety and depression take their toll, and his plot arc ends with suicide.

Born in Toronto in 1995, Dylan began acting in commercials at age ten, and moved into television with The Doodlebops, "the ultimate rock n roll band for kids."   He first played the friend of a gay kid in Breakfast with Scott (2007): a "straight-acting" gay couple (Tom Cavanaugh, Ben Shenkman) become the guardians of a flamboyantly femme boy (Noah Benett).

A lot of teencoms and tv movies followed, notably How to Be Indie (2009-2011): the Indian-Canadian girl has two friends, a teencom standard: Abbie (a girl) and Marlon (Dylan), who according to the fan wiki is "always full of bright ideas," but sometimes annoying.  He wears pants that are so tight, he can't sit down, has a gay-subtext boyfriend, John Lu (Jason Jia), and displays no interest in girls -- obviously gay.  At least until the showrunners decided to queerbait by giving him a girlfriend in Episode 49.

Next the busy teenager simultaneously appeared on
Degrassi and starred in the teencom Wingin' It (2010-13): To earn his wings,  apprentice angel Porter (Demetrius Joyette) must help outcast high schooler Carl (Dylan) become popular.  I'm not sure how much of an outcast Carl is, since he has the standard teencom two friends, Jane and Alex (Brian Alexander White), but most episodes involve crushing on girls, competing with Porter for girls, asking girls out, and so on.  Apparently popularity means having a girlfriend.

Dylan played Mark-Paul Gosselaer in The Unauthorized "Saved by the Bell" Story (2014), himself in Dylan (2015), the young Dean Winchester in three episodes of Supernatural (2013-15), and a heterosexual teenager in Undercover Grandpa (2017).  

He has a n*de scene in All About Who You Know (2019): an aspiring screenwriter tries to meet his idol by arranging a romcom-style romance with the guy's daughter. Or you could just call him.

AusCaps has a scene where his friend Austin (Stephen Joffe) wakes up in bed with a guy, and looks surprised but does not recoil in homophobic horror, so maybe he has a gay plotline.

More after the break.  

"Thunderbolts": Three misfit assassins, Captain America's sidekick, and Bob fight Elaine from "Seinfeld." Most have n*de photos.

 

Link to the n*de dudes

For movie night last night, we saw Thunderbolts (2025), with "an unconventional team of misfits" (is there any other kind?) working together to escape a deadly trap and fighting a mad scientist.  The intended audience consists of fanboys who instantly recognize the characters and situations from other movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but I got along fine by keeping the Marvel Wiki open on my cell phone.  

Back story: The Avengers (Iron Man, Captain America, Hulk, Thor, and a few others) saved the world in 12 MCU movies, but they have disbanded, taking a beefcake bonanza with them, and leaving the United States vulnerable to scowling, teeth-gritting "rogue nations." What about Spiderman, the Fantastic Four, and other non-Avenger superheroes?  

CIA director, senator, mad scientist, and all-around Big Bad Valentina (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) tried to create a home-grown superhero, ostensibly for national defense, but actually so she could use him to take over the world.Things went wrong, people died, and now she is undergoing impeachment proceedings.  To save her skin, she scours the files of wrongdoing, and plots to get rid of the four assassins on her payrole. 

Left: Julia Louis-Dreyfuss has starred in several tv series during the last few decades, but I still see her as equally evil Elaine of Seinfeld.

How do you get rid of assasins?  By assigning each to kill another,  then trapping them in a super-protected vault a hundred miles below the surface, and blowing it up.

The assassins are:

1. Yelena from Black Widow (2021).  Superhero Black Widow's adopted sister, trained as an assassin from childhood.  She is struggling with grief over the Widow's death, and suffering from periods of existential angst.

2. Antonia from Black Widow, also trained as an assassin from childhood.  She is killed during the initial battle.

3. John Walker (Wyatt Russell, left) from the tv series The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021).  He was trained to be Captain America's replacement after Cap died or something, but the others think he's a government yes-man, and refer to him disparagingly as  "Captain America Light."

4. Ava from Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018):  due to her molecular instability, she was in constant pain, and captured the superhero duo hoping that they could help.  They managed to stabilize her, but she can still phase through walls.

5. Civilian Bob (Lewis Pullman) is just hanging around the super-secret vault.  He doesn't know how he got there.  The last thing he remembers is being a meth head and all around loser who signed up for a medical experiment in Kuala Lumpur, hoping that it would make him "better."  

The three surviving assasins recognize that they are being set up, and work together (with Bob's inept attempts to help) to escape from the vault.  

Problem: Big Bad Valentina and her head general, Holt (Chris Bauer), have assembled a huge army to take them out. Civilian Bob distracts them so his new friends can escape.  He is shot many times, jumps ten miles into the stratosphere, and crashes to Earth, but survives.  Valentina's crew captures him.

More after the break.

Gideon Gemstone's Secret Life, Part 2: Keefe singing, Jimmy twerking, and Gideon in his underwear

 

Link to the n*de dudes

Previous: Gideon Gemstone's Secret Life, Part 1: Jimmy Olsen finds out that the Gemstones do it big

In Part 1, Jimmy Olsen visits the Gemstones at the Lake House to write a story for The Daily Planet, and learns that something happened to Gideon that no one will talk about. On Friday, he interviews Jesse, Amber, Abraham, and Pontius.  It's Saturday morning, time for Kelvin and Keefe.  Then Gideon arrives.

Kelvin Gemstone: The Top Christ Following Man

On Saturday morning, Jimmy came downstairs to the staff bustling about, cleaning bedrooms, mopping, vacuuming.  Most of the family had already finished breakfast and scattered to the boat or the swimming pools, but Kelvin and Keefe were still in the breakfast nook.  The youngest of the Gemstones was short, sturdy, muscular, and femme, a Tom of Finland drag queen, married to a long-haired muscleman with a fading “Hail Satan” tattoo visible on his forearm. 

“Good morning!” Kelvin called, flashing the usual Look.  “I hope you got a lot of rest, ‘cause we have a full day planned.”

Jimmy sat next to him.  A waiter jumped forward to fill his coffee cup and hand him the breakfast menu.  He ordered the Denver omelet and sourdough toast. 

“To be honest, after the noise and honking horns of Metropolis, it was hard to sleep in the quiet.”  Especially with his superpower revealing who was going at it at 3 and 4 am.

“Back when I was in Satan’s Baby, we toured in Metropolis a lot,” Keefe said. “I used to be a regular in the gay club scene up there.  Have you been to The Metropolis Eagle?”

Why did Keefe think that Jimmy would be hanging out in gay clubs?  “Your heavy metal past is a story waiting to be told. Maybe I can interview you later?”

He pretended to look down at his mostly-eaten frittata.  “Thanks, but I like to stay out of the spotlight.  I’m the roots of the tree, and Kelvin is the branches.” 

Ok, so he wouldn’t be getting much information from Keefe.  Time to interrogate Kelvin. “So you came out publicly last year, but I’m sure the family knew long before that.  How did you come out to them?”

“Well, I didn’t really need to come out to them – they knew long before I did, back when I was a kid and sneaked peeks at my sister’s teen magazines. It took me forever to figure it out for myself.  I was in denial for years, until…”  He hesitated.  “I guess the kidnapping.”

But that was in 2023.  He had the God Squad, a cadre of bodybuilders living in yurts on his front lawn, in 2022.  How could he not know?

Keefe objected, too: “But we were doing stuff back when we first met, when Gideon and Scotty….” Kelvin shot him a harsh look, and he trailed off.

Obviously Kelvin was trying to control the narrative, present himself as unaware until 2023, so he could claim not to know about Gideon and Scotty….who the heck was Scotty, and what did it have to do with Kelvin?

“Keefe, are you sure you won’t reconsider that interview?  Maybe we can do it while swimming later.  I heard that the Lake House was clothing optional?”'

Keefe flashed the Look and glanced at Kelvin, who nodded his consent.

Kelvin Gemstone is short in stature, but he knows how to Do It Big: with puffy muscles, flamboyant outfits, and a series of revolutionary ministry innovations.  His most recent, a daily reflection for queer youth, averages 200 people in the on-site meeting and over a million views on the Gemstone streaming service, and won him the Top Christ Following Man of the Year Award.  Yet at home he is the quintessential nerd, a quiet, shy guy who collects comic books, plays arcade games with his husband, and can name all of the planets in the “Star Wars” universe.

Keefe Chambers: the Heavy Metal Rocker

City boy Jimmy learned to swim in a public pool, had been rescued from a sinking ship by Beast Boy, and was trembling with fear on the floating dock as Keefe dove into the 200-foot deep water of Lake Murray   (Kelvin stayed behind to do some work with Prism.)  He pulled himself up, rocking the dock – the guy weighed 200 pounds – and climbed up to the slide. 

He paused.  “Aren’t you coming in, Jimmy?” 

“No, thanks -- I’ll just work on my tan.  But I’m enjoying watching you.”  Jimmy hesitated, realizing that it sounded like he was interested – and maybe he was.  The guy was massive everywhere.  If he was going to accept one of the three-way hints this weekend, it would be with Kelvin and Keefe.

Keefe tumbled down the slide, dove in again, and then lay on the beach towel next to Jimmy – so close that they were touching, of course. 

“Tell me about how you and Kelvin met,” Jimmy suggested.

He grinned at the memory.  “It was at Charleston Pride 2019.  I was passing out fliers for Baby Queef – my solo act after I quit Satan’s Baby.  Kelvin came to one of my performances, and that was it.  For me, anyway.  It took like three years to convince him that we should be more than s*x buddies, and five years to talk him into marrying me.”

Keefe Chambers was on his way to an impressive career – lead singer in a heavy metal band, a solo act as a Satanic comedian, friends with musical giants Ozzie Osborne and Trent Reznor, covers of “It’s Raining Men” and “I’m Coming Out” that charted in France. But he gave it all up to stand in the wings, quietly supporting Kelvin Gemstone, his best friend, boyfriend, and eventually his husband.

“So Charleston Pride, June 2019, right?”  Jimmy fished. "Was that before or after Gideon and Scotty?”

“Gideon came home from California later, after I moved into Kelvin's house.  Maybe in January or February?  Scotty came up a week or so later, and stayed through...well, stayed awhile.”

“A boyfriend?”

“Probably.  I mean, we had them over for dinner, like they were a couple.”

“So Gideon is gay?”

Keefe patted his shoulder. “You'd better ask him yourself.  He likes irises and Greek food.”  He dove into the water again.

If Rev. Gemstone allowed Gideon and his boyfriend to live openly in his house in the spring of 2020, the thing that happened couldn’t be about being gay.  Unless he started homophobic, kicked Gideon out of the house, and somehow the relationship was restored.

Gideon Gemstone: The Superhero

They returned to the house, changed clothes, and joined Kelvin and BJ for a game of cornhole (yes, that was the name) on the veranda.

Gideon drove up on his motorcycle just before lunch.  He was in his mid-20s, a little shorter than Kelvin, with a tight, firm physique and an open, slightly freckled face. 

“Sorry I didn’t come up earlier, Mr. Olsen. I had an emergency at the skatepark to take care of.”

“It’s Jimmy.”

“Then I’m Gideon.”  He smiled as they shook hands.

Wait – a smile, but no Look.  This hardly ever happened!  It was an immense relief to touch someone without seeing that rush -- he didn’t want to stop holding Gideon’s hand. Then he realized that Gideon was staring at him, and dropped it.  His face begain to burn.

Keefe nudged Kelvin and whispered something.  They both beamed.  Matchmakers?  But this was the opposite of matchmaking – Gideon was the first person he’d met in a long time who wasn’t interested!

 Gideon shooed away a staff member and grabbed his own bag.  Jimmy took his arm as they walked into the house – still no Look.  Kelvin and Keefe followed.   “I want to hear about the skatepark ministry, but I think the Daily Planet readers will be more interested in the times you saved the day.”

“Me – saved the day?  What do you mean?”

“You helped your Grandfather escape the militia thugs, rescued your Dad from the kidnappers, hunted down the Cycle Ninjas...”

“He’s like Superman,” Keefe exclaimed.

Gideon laughed.  “Wait – aren’t you friends with the real Superman, Jimmy?”

“No, but I used to date the Green Lantern.”  Coming out as bi – well, in this family, straight people were in the minority.

Jimmy couldn’t ask Gideon about “the thing that happened” at lunch, with everyone around, but afterwards, as the others were prepping for the talent show or lounging on the veranda, he tried.  He sat down with Gideon in the Game Room, pulled out his recorder as if it was a formal interview, and began with: “You moved between California and South Carolina several times.  What brought you out there the first time?”

“I wanted a career as a stuntman, and California is the place to be.”

“Oh.”  Jimmy was disappointed, but he knew that interview subjects need some human connection to feel comfortable enough to open up. “Same thing with me.  I wanted to be a journalist, and I couldn’t do that, not really, in Asheville.  It had to be Metropolis, a thousand miles from home.”

“Do you miss your family and friends?” Gideon asked. 

Wait, was he trying the human-connection bit?  Maybe it was what preachers did.  “Sure.  But I talk to my folks every week, and Chloe – that’s my high school sweetheart, or at least she thinks she is – once a month or so.  She’s married to the Green Arrow now.”

Gideon laughed. “Green Lantern, Green Arrow – you guys are really into green.  I should fix you up with Kelvin – everything in his wardrobe is emerald, or teal, or chartreuse.”

It was a pleasure being around Gideon, not having to worry about the subtle caresses, the carefully veiled – or not so carefully veiled – flirtations.  Jimmy wished that they could just hang out and talk about regular things, but he was on a schedule, and he needed a Gideon profile for his article. 

“What about you?  I already heard about your ex-boyfriend Scotty, but have you dated anyone lately?"

Gideon stood and walked away – or rather, stomped away -- without another word.

The Talent Show

When Jimmy came down for the Talent Show, Gideon was sitting in the front row.  Like Judy yesterday, he gestured for Jimmy to join him. 

“I’m sorry I left so abruptly before,” he began.  “It’s just that Scotty is a sore spot for me.”

Before Jimmy could ask for more details, the show began with Rev. Gemstone dressed as Elvis Presley, singing “Love Me, Tender" to a teddy bear.

Gideon nudged Jimmy to offer him some of his popcorn.  Where was the popcorn?

Next, Mrs. Gemstone played Beethoven’s Sonata 8, Pathéthique, on the piano, BJ did his magic act (badly), and Judy sang her mother’s hit, “Toodles Until Tomorrow”

These things, they cannot last, the past is the past
If you look back, you'd see them behind us
For the road leads us on with the moon and the sun
 Wake up, move along and say goodbye

Gideon sniffed and brought a handkerchief to his eyes – allergies, or was he crying?  

It was Pontius and Stacy's turn.  Dressed as surfer dudes, they performed “Summer Lovin’”, turning it into two gay guys describing their summer boyfriends.

Summer loving, had me a blast - Summer lovin', happened so fast
 I met a boy, crazy for me  -- I met a boy, cute as can be.
Tell me more, tell me more, 'cause the evening sounds sick.
Tell me more, tell me more, like how big was his...car?

He got friendly, sittin' on the grass -- he got horny, grabbin' my...beach towel
We stayed out 'til nine o'clock....we made out, I sucked his...dreamsicle
Tell me more, tell me more -- did you meet Mom and Pop?
Tell me more, tell me m ore -- did he bottom or top?

 Gideon wrapped his arm around Jimmy’s shoulders, and Jimmy relaxed into him.  It was different, touching someone who didn’t have the Look, wasn’t overwhelmed with desire.  Comfortable – relaxing. 

Next, Kelvin and Keefe stood.  "We need two volunteers for our act," Keefe announced.

"I see two hands up," Kelvin announced.  "Jimmy and...what's that guy's name?...Gideon.  Come on, you can hold hands later."

They dragged the guys into the music room, and had them change into swimsuits and raincoats: "You dance along.  When I point, pull off your raincoats and do a sort of stripper routine, got it?"

The song was "It's Raining Men."

Humidity is rising, barometer's getting low  -- how low, dude?
According to gay sources -- like Lambda Legal?
The street's the place to go -- get going, boy!
'Cause tonight for the first time -- just about half-past ten
For the first time in history, it's gonna start raining men!

The full story, with n*de photos and s*exual situations, is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

See also: Is There S*x After Death?: A Gideon and Scotty story

Santa Clarita Diet, Episode 1.9: A Medieval Serbian book, a gay subtext, twink pics, and maybe a Skyler d*ck

It's Raining Men

Icarus: The boy who flew too close to the sun

I mentioned before that artists interested in depicting men without women around have only limited mythological and religious themes to choose from, and most involve tragedy.

Take the tragedy of Icarus:
According to Greek mythology, skilled inventor Daedalus and his son Icarus were imprisoned in Crete.  To escape, Daedalus made them wings from bird feathers, held together with wax.  The plan would have worked, except that Icarus flew too close to the sun, so the wax on his wings melted, and he plunged to his death.




In the ancient world, and through the Middle Ages, the story was used to illustrate the folly of over-confidence, trying to do more than you are able.  But more recent artists and writers have a different take: strive to be all that you can.  You may fail, but at least you were able to fly.

Or they just like to portray a muscular nude Athenian youth, before, during, or after his flight.

Daedalus and Icarus (1645), by French painter Charles LeBrun, shows the moment when Daedalus rouses Icarus to try on his wings.

Icarus and Daedalus (1869), by Lord Leighton shows the same scene, but now they're on top of the tower, and a thin swath of fabric keeps Icarus from full nudity.

The Lament for Icarus (1898), by Herbert James Draper, substitutes naked nymphs for the mourning Daedalus, but it has a particularly striking dead hero (modeled by Luigi di Luca)












More Icarus after the break

The New "Doctor Who," Season 2: The gay doctor fights robots and cartoon characters, and gets a girlfriend. With bonus Groff and Projectionist d*cks

 

Link to the n*de dudes

The latest Doctor Who, that  time-and-space faring adventurer from the planet Gallifrey (played by Ncuti Gatwa), is the first to be black, and although there have been bisexual hints in the past, the first to be gay.  In Episode 1.6, he even gets a boyfriend, an interdimensional bounty hunter named Rogue (Jonathhan Groff).

At least, he was gay in the first season. 

I watched the first two episodes of Season 2, and I am sorry to report that the gay guy has turned straight.

In Episode 2.1, "The Robot Revolution," the teenage Belinda Chandra receives a gift from her sort-of boyfriend: a star.  It seems that you can "buy" a star and get a certificate stating that it's yours.  They break up soon after.  

17 years pass, and one night gigantic robots arrive to force Belinda to become the queen of "her" planet.  Apparently the certificate was a binding contract.

Left: Robert Strange plays the head robot.

To complicate things, the robots have taken control of the world.  Humans are forced into smiling servitude.  

The Doctor, stranded on the planet for the last six months, is starting a revolt with a squad of hunky humans, including Caleb Hughes and Max Parker, left.  

Soon into the revolt, the Doctor's girlfriend is killed.  Grieving, he explains that when he first arrived on the planet, she took him in and explained the situation.  "She took care of me.  She was wonderful."   The other freedom fighters tell him to buck up, they have a world to save.

The robots announce that Belinda is to marry the great AI Generator, who turns out to be the ex-boyfriend (Jonny Green, left), merged with a machine.   Belinda dumped him due to his controlling behavior, and this is the only way he could think of to get back together again. Maybe send her flowers?

So this was all about heterosexual romance?  They had an episode with an astronaut and his husband.  Two of the Doctor's companions have been lesbians.  How the mighty have fallen.

The Doctor and Belinda save the day.  Belinda asks to be taken home, but his space-and-time ship, the TARDIS, refuses to go to the day she left.  Maybe the next day?

In Episode 1.2, "Lux," some people are watching a movie in 1952 Miami.  Before the main feature, there's a cartoon featuring Mr. Ring-a-Ding, whose catchphrase is "Don't make me laugh!"  While he is busily romancing Sally Sunshine (yes, another hetero-romance), he jumps off the screen to scream at the audience.

Enter the Doctor and Belinda, taking a detour on the way home.  They notice that the theater door is chained, as if there's a wild beast inside.  

More after the break

Robert Silverberg: Buddy-bonding adventures in outer space shift to "Girls! Girls! Girls!, ruining my childhood.

During the 1960s and 1970s, space exploration was everywhere, on the news, in the toys we unwrapped under the Christmas tree, in our favorite tv shows, and in our before-bed reading.  Robert Silverberg was one of the deans of  juvenile science fiction, presenting us with novel after novel about teenage boys caught up in outlandish outer-space adventures, with intense buddy bonds and girls barely mentioned.  Good beyond hope. 

I read them long after the publication date, and not in chronological order:

The Lost Race of Mars (1960), from my junior high library: a brother and sister living in a colony on Mars get lost, and are rescued by the Older Martians hiding in caves (because they know what happens to the aboriginal population when colonists arrive?) 

Revolt on Alpha C (1955) came from Scholastic Book Club, catalogs that were passed out in class several times a years: you ordered up to five books, and they arrived a few weeks later (my parents disapproved of reading, so I claimed that they were all "for school"): On a colony on a planet orbiting Alpha Centauri, 20-year old Larry rejects his father's plans for his life and rebels against the Establishment. Groovy, man!   The cover art, a boy floating through space upside down, was reminiscent of Will Robinson in the opening credits of Lost in Space.

Left: the modern Will Robinson and his boyfriend

Starman's Quest (1958): Twin brothers buddy-bond in space.  The version I checked out of the Rock Island Public Library was generic, line-drawings of the two boys in space suits, with no Martian beefcake statue or muscle-suits.

More after the break

Ten Brazilian d*cks and two backsides: Mutants, soap stars, love machines, singers, and a lot of footballers

 

Link to the n*de dudes

A poster has uploaded around 20 photos of Brazilian guys to the n*de celebrity Reddit, and I couldn't resist reposting a few.  They come from G, a gay men's monthly featuring celebrity photos as well as other models and general interest articles. 180 issues were published from 1997 to 2013. Whoa, how many American celebrities would agree to appear in a gay mazazine, let alone while tree trunking?

It was mostly footballers, so I added a few actors of my own to even things out.

1. Bruno Carvalho, footballer (left),

2. Fabio Borges, footballer.

3. Romulo Arantes Neto, born 1987, known for Todo formas de amor (All Kinds of Love)

4. Claudio Andrade, born 1984, known for The Mutants: The Way of the Heart (2008).

5. Nico Puig, "The James Dean of the Tropics."  Born 1972, known for Olho no olho (Eye to Eye) 

6. Theo Baker (left), British youtuber who comments on Brazilian football. 

More after the break

Atticus Mitchell: "My Babysitter's a Vampire," "Stonewall," "Now I can be who I am," and n*de photos, but has he done anything gay lately?

  

Link to the n*de photos

When I was researching Star Trek, Strange New Worlds, I looked for nude photos of various cast members, and found several of Atticus Mitchell, who played an ensign "scared by a dog" in one episode.

You are probably more familiar with him as Benny Weir of My Babysitter's a Vampire (2010 movie, 2011-12 tv series):  teenager Ethan (Matthew Knight)  battles demons, zombies, and various paranormal perils with the help of his buddies, Benny (Atticus, left) and Rory (Cameron Kennedy), plus his sister's vampire babysitter. 

 

 Everyone was intensely hetero-horny, but there was a lot of beefcake. Here the guys agree to be sacrificed so an ancient Aztec goddess can be reunited with her boyfriend.  She's not interested in them, and they're going to die, but that's not important.  She's a girl, so whatever she wants, she gets. 

My earlier review of the series pointed out a lot of gay subtexts, although this is probably a back-stage shot of Atticus and Cameron hugging.  

Born in Toronto in 1993, Atticus became interested in acting in elementary school, and performed in four plays while at St. John Elementary School:

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs of the Black Forest

James and the Giant Peach

50 Below Zero

When he graduated to Malvern Collegiate Institute (a public high school, in spite of the ponderous name), Atticus switched to on-screen acting with the teencom How to Be Indie (2009-2011), which is about an Indian-Canadian girl, not indie rock. Dylan Everett (n*de photo on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) played her best friend.  Atticus played a bully.

Next came Vampire, followed by the teen movie Radio Rebel (2012), about a shy high school girl with a secret identity as an underground radio dj. So she's Hannah Montana.  Atticus plays Gabe, a musician who tries to sneak and snark his way into air time, and his future boyfriend or good buddy Adam DiMarco plays as Gavin, the girl's "love interest."  

Aside from Vampire, Atticus is best known for his role as Mickey Hess on Fargo (2014): he runs a shady trucking company with his dad and brother. No girlfriend, but he is established as heterosexual by playing with a female adult toy.

I was more interested in the role of Matthew in Stonewall (2015), about the 1969 riots that started the Gay Rights Movement, with Danny (Jeremy Irvine) as a white masculine Saviour from Indiana.  

Problem: Matthew doesn't appear in the synopsis, and I don't recall him from watching.  But surely he's gay.

More after the break

Jack Barlow: "Real Housewives" teen, Mormon missionary, hair-care guru, gay tease. With n*de and b*ondage photos.

   

Link to the n*de and b*ndage photos

Jack Barlow suddenly appeared on my Instagram "suggestions," displaying his physique on the beach -- in a pink swimsuit.  Then he goes on an all-guy beefcake vacation. Obviously gay!

But the pink swimsuit shot is followed by a barrage of photos of Jack going to rodeos and concerts, celebrating his 21st birthday, eating French crepes, bragging about how good he smells, all with his arms around his girlfriend, his future wife, the love of his life.

Ok, ok, you're heterosexual.  The cover photo was just a tease. 

After 831 girl-hugging photos, we come to another gay tease: Jack displays his physique on the beach again, holding a gigantic phallic surfboard.  Followed by a new barrage of girl-hugging.

You're hung, but nature has "prick'd thee out for women's pleasure," I get it.

But...the all-guy beefcake vacation?   Looking very cozy, buddy.

And then we get a gay-subtext commercial for Fresh Wolf, a Men's Grooming Line created by Jack and his brother Henry -- shampoo, body wash, pomade...pomade?  Didn't that go out in the 1940s?

More after the break

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. Is Scotty in love with Captain Kirk? Is Spock in love with everybody? With a Vulcan named Doug and Chace and Atticus d*cks

 

I grew up with Star Trek: 

Reruns of the original series (1966-69), with Captain James T. Kirk (William Shatner) fighting Klingons, taking off his shirt, and kissing alien babes

The Next Generation (1987-94), with Wesley Crusher (Wil Wheaton) as a far-future teen idol and the Borg saying "You will be assimilated."

Deep Space Nine (1993-1999), with a Ferengi named Nog (Aron Eisenberg) buddy-bonding with the captain's son. 

Voyager  (1995-2001),  where Captain Janeway, her crew, and the rebels they are fighting are zapped to the other side of the galaxy.

There were no gay characters in the far-future utopia, but there were few or no gay characters anywhere on tv, so we didn't really notice.

We have long known that the original Star Trek pilot had Captain Christopher Pike (Jeffrey Hunter) insteaed of Kirk and a female first officer named Number One.  In "The Menagerie" (Episode 1.15), they were retconned as the crew of the Enterprise before Kirk took over.  

Fast forward a lot of years, and Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (2022-) features the voyages of the Enterprise under Captain Pike (Anson Mount, left), with younger versions of familiar characters Scotty, Uhuru, Nurse Chapel,  Spock, and even James T. Kirk (serving on another ship).  And in the 2020s, there's bound to be some gay representation.

I reviewed Episode 3.8, "Four and a Half Vulcans," because I figured that gay characters would be trotted out late in the series, and because a guest star is Patton Oswalt, whom I have a crush on (he's chubby and 5'3", sigh). 

Scene 1: The Enterprise heads to Purmantee III for three days of shore leave, but Number One  plans to stay behind to do work. Defense Officer La'an thinks that she is avoiding an old boyfriend there.  Spock asks to join them, but La'an shoos him away; they're dating, but "it's weird." 

Remember when the original Enterprise took shore leave on a planet where anything you think of appears?  (I'll take me, Adam Devine, and Patton Oswalt on a tour of the Musee d'Orsay on Christmas Eve.) The aliens who built it didn't realize that some species can't control their thoughts, but after some mishaps they make the necessary adjustments.

Cut to Captain Pike practicing defensive moves with his girlfriend.  She is so aggressive that he wonders if she is angry with him, but no, she was mad before because of "you know what you did," but she's fine now.  Just, when they get to the shore leave planet, could they stay in a nice hotel instead of camping?

Scene 2: The heterosexualizing is interrupted by an urgent message from the Vulcan High Command.  The Planet Tezaar does not yet have warp drive, so the Prime Directive states "no contact."  But the Vulcans made contact before the Prime Directive was instituted, and gifted them with a nuclear power grid.  Now the grid has to be fixed, or the planet will suffer a nuclear meltdown.  The Vulcans are too far away to do it, so it's up to the Enterprise crew.

I can't wait to see the planet.  Remember when the original Enterprise visited a planet immersed in 1930s gangster culture? Or Halloween ghosts and witches?

But they can't just disguise themselves as Vulcans.  For reasons, they have to become Vulcans, with the appropriate DNA.  200 years of advanced genetic technology says that it's impossible, but Nurse Chapel jury-rigs somethng in 20 minutes. 

Scene 3: Pike and four ladies are transformed. Hey, no fair!  The old Star Trek always had cute guys in red uniforms going along. 

 The DNA-changing serum doesn't work on  Airhead Hippie (Carol Kane) -- LSD doesn't either.  Spock (Ethan Peck, left) offers to go in her place, but no, "You're only half-Vulcan."

Excluded from the party, he seethes with hurt feelings.

Scene 4:  They relent and allow Spock to come along, but he has to carry all of their stuff.  So Pike and company are racists?  They don't like "half-breeds"?

Back on the Enterprise, the Bridge Crew (which consists entirely of women) is shocked when the Away Team enters the structure immediately and repairs the grid in a few seconds -- they thought it would take hours.  Me, too.  I was expecting Tezaan culture, some misunderstandings, maybe some arrests, like we saw on the old Star Trek all the time.  We didn't even see the planet's surface!

They beam up.  

At least there are two guys in the transporter room! The one on the left is Doctor M'Benga (Babs Olusanmokun), who according to the Star Trek wiki has four ex-wives, and the other may be Scotty, the future ship's engineer  -- pushing 60 when he's in James Kirk's crew a few years later, but here played by 30 year old Martin Quinn. 

I can't tell if Martin Quinn is gay in real life or not: he does comedy povs where he's gay, but some where he's straight.  

But at least he and M'Benga bring some testosterone to this episode of Girls Gone Wild: Outer Space.

Uh-oh, the Away Team can't turn back to human!  Something went wrong with Nurse Chapel's serum!  I saw that one coming a mile away.

Spock is noticeably upset, envisioning a future of racial harassment and discrimination.  

Scene 5: They are examined by the doctor. Nurse Chapel concludes that when she spent 20 minutes developing the serum, she was a stupid human and made a mistake, but now that she is a far superior Vulcan, she'll be able to fix it and make them human again.

Spock suggests that the others be quarantined until the cure is developed, as being Vulcan will play havoc with their personal relationships, but they disagree: as far superior Vulcans, they'll be much better at being friends and lovers. 

The doctor say ok to no quarantine, but no shore leave.

More after the break.