"Surreal Estate," Episode 1.1: Realtor and his friends investigate paranormal events, with gay characters and a lot of Matt Whi tes

 

This review keeps yelled at by the Blogger censors, and I can't figure out why.  Is it because I mention a book on human ana tomy, do they think the word scoo bies is inappropriate, or do they think it's rac ist because I mention Matt Whi te?  It's a guy's name.

 So let's try one more time.

Link to the men named Matt Whi te

Surreal Estate (2021-23), on Hulu, appeared on Reddit about shows with "normalized" LGBT characters, not struggling to come out or fighting homophobia.  None of the episode synopses suggest gay characters, and the icon shows a man and a woman, but here goes, Episode 1.1

Scene 1: Night. A man in a 1940s detective costume walks through a thunderstorm to a creepy house. The sign says "For Sale by Owner." 

Inside, it's too dark to see much, but a woman in a bathrobe seems to be reading an antique book on human anat omy.   She gets scared when the surgeon in a photograph seems to be grinning evilly at her.  Suddenly the room catches on fire (at least we can see something now).  She runs outside, but runs into the Old Fashioned Man.  

Psych!  He's not the ghost of a 1940s detective, he just dresses like one: Luke Roman (Tim Rozon of Schitt's Creek), interested in the house.  So call in advance?  

She hugs him: "The house wants to kill me!"  That's every home owner's complaint, girl.

He can help with that.  They gaze into each other's eyes.  I'll be they start dating, and she joins the paranormal real estate team.

Scene 2: At Shirley's Diner, still too dark to see much, Homeowner Megan, says that her fiancé is coming to pick her up.  Don't you hate it when they mention a boyfriend halfway through the date?

Luke shows her a video about his company, SMEP, Specialists in Metaphysically-Engaged Properties, those with a market value depreciation due a tragedy occuring there.  Sometimes they are haunted, sometimes not, but the rumor makes it lose 37% of its market value and takes 317% longer to sell. 

Megan's swishy boyfriend Brock (Matt Whi te) flounces in with a teeth-click, a flamboyant wave of his umbrella, and a "What up, Girlfriend?"  Shouldn't be too hard to convince him to be true to himself, so you can have Megan for yourself.  

Matt Whi te has nine acting credits on IMDB, including six shorts,and three walk-ons.  This may not be the right one, but there are lots of other Matt Whites to choose from: a baseball player, a football player, an artist,  a musician, a comedian, a model, a billionaire, and an internet influencer (top photo).

Scene 3: At the agency, Luke tells his scoo bies, two men and a woman, about the case.  Homeowner Megan is a medical student who inherited the haunted house from her grandfather.  Swishy boyfriend lives with her (in his own room, I assume).  

On to their other case, a house with a poltergeist. It came out clean: no entities.  But Rita, the Evil Realtor who hired them, insists that things were flying around.  Nobody wants to confront her because she's so evil, so they get the New Girl to do it: a ringer who got $10 million in sales at her last agency.  

Introductions:

Father Phil (Adam Korson, right), a defro cked priest with nice biceps, does the background checks and due diligence.

More after the break

Chase Carlson: Bodybuilder, gay adult video performer, Power Ranger, but no tv or movie roles. Who's complaining?

 

Link to the n*de dudes

This picture appeared on the Male Celebrity Tumblr: Chase Carlson holding a rather light dumbbell.  Never heard of him, but it was a  celebrity site, which means actor or singer, and I doubt that he's a singer. 

He has 269,000 followers on his Instagram. He says that he wants to become a Power Ranger, but he doesn't appear on the cast list of any Power Rangers tv show.  

In fact, Chase's only credit listed on the IMDB is in Killian Knox show (2022-23), which appears to be gay adult entertainment.  Max Lorde, Troy Daniels, and Gunnar Stone also appear.

What else do we know about Chase?

He's won three super-heavyweight titles.

He lives in San Diego.

He is a spokesperson for Meat athletic wear and Mr., a HIV prevention pill.

According to his Facebook page, he grew up in Oskaloosa, Iowa, and graduated from high school in 2009.

A Chase Carlson registered with Mayhem Modeling in 2011, stating that he was interested in acting, stuntwork, runway modeling, fitness modeling, hair/makeup, lifestyle, and hosting.  

Probably not: he gives his height at 6'1", and our Chase is 6'4".

Weight 165, and  our Chase is 331.

Shoe size 10", and our Chase is.... 

More after the break

Julian Hiliard: Gay superhero, gay-vague German boy, 19th century aesthete. With bonus Nicholas Cage and Ruairi O'Connor

Instagram suggested that I follow  "Julian Hillard," who has 183,000 followers: "gamer, dog lover, actor."

Never heard of him, until I started doing research, and realized that I had seen him in several movies and tv shows.

He was born in Dallas in 2011, and began acting in 2012.  He was nominated for a Young Actor Award for his performance as the young Luke Crain in The Haunting of Hill House in 2018.

The adult Luke Crain, played by Oliver Jackson-Cohen, is gay-vague.

Julian appears in nine episodes of Penny Dreadful: City of Angels (2020), about paranormal events in Los Angeles in 1938.  His Tom Craft meets and becomes best friends with German refugee Frank (Santino Barnard).  

Hudson West (right) plays his older brother, Trevor.

Julian played Billy Maximoff, son of The Scarlet Witch, in Wandavision (2021) and Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness (2022).   Billy is gay in the Marvel Comics and in Agatha All Along, where he is played by Joe Locke.  

More after the break

Skyler's Cute Pictures. Part 5: Sitting in a bathtub, standing by a fence, on the floor with Scotty. With bonus Corenswet and Hoult

   

Link to the n***de photos

The censored version of this post still got censored by the idiotic Bloggers, so I'm going all out and removing anything that could possibly in any way be indicative of s*x. 

Go ahead, Blogger censors.  I dare you to find anything the slightest bit "sensit*ve" in this post.

This is a collection of cute/cool or humorous photos of  Skyler Gisondo, star of The Santa Clarita Diet and The Righteous Gemstones, and Jimmy Olson in the upcoming Superman: Legacy.  

1. "Another photo collection?  Haven't you seen enough of me?"

I can't help it, buddy.  You keep posting interesting pics.

2. And now that you're starring in Superman, we have interesting photos of David Corenswet to worry about, too.

3. And Nicholas Hoult

4. "Hey, I thought this was a photo collection about me."

Sorry.  How about a long-hair bathtub pic? 

5. So, what do you want to do now?

"Just stay there for a second, okay?  I'm almost done."

Sure, buddy.  Take all the time you need. 

6. "Have you met my girlfriend?"

Odd time to introduce her.

More after the break

Searching for Brandon Johnston through twins, Elves, fitness instructors, various n*de guys, and the Mayor of Chicago

  

Link to n*de dudes

I've been going through the posts on the RG Beefcake and Boyfriends site, trying to make them appeal to a general audience. I did it with Dillon B., and I couldn't even use his last name.  But Brandon Johnston turned out to be a problem: 

1. The original post called him  "Johnson."

2. It records his roles rather than titles of his projects: Elf Photo Clerk,  Valet, College Student 2, Audience Member, Golf Caddie Twin, and Genius Clone.  

A search for "Brandon Johnson" on the IMDB yielded this guy, known for Ingrid Goes West and Rick and Morty.  He's middle-aged and black.  My Brandon is young and white.

Although I wouldn't mind researching this Brandon next.

Googling revealed Brandon Johnson, the mayor of Chicago.  Probably not the same guy.

"Brandon Johnston"?  Nothing.

Searching on Facebook yielded 16,000 Brandon Johnsons/ Johnstons, including this fitness coach from Ogden Utah.  

How about "Brandon Johnson/Johnston" and "n*de"?  Warning: the first hit is a n*de lady. 

The second is Bryce Johnston, who must be famous for something, since celebrity websites gushed over a video of him skinny-dipping.

But when I googled "Bryce Johnston," all I found was the owner of the Philadelphia Eagles and the heavily tattooed Father Midnight.

The original post also mentions that Brandon Johnson/Johnston is interested in gay Hollywood History. 

"His Instagram videos tell the stories of many LGBTQ pioneers in the industry, such as Dorthy Arzner, William Haines, and James Whale."

More Brandon, probably, after the break

A new, improved batch of Adam Devine beefcake, bulge, and backside photos. With maybe a d*ck or two.

 

Link to the n*de photos

I thought I had seen every bulge, backside, and d*ck scene in every one of Adam Devine's movies and tv shows, but nope, there are more.  I'm not even going to think of clever comments; let's just get to the goods.

1. From the Righteous Gemstones Season 4 trailer.  Kelvin gets up off his knees and tells Keefe: "This our world now. We can do what we want."  I have  pretty good idea what he wanted, but the question is, did he swallow?

2.  Adam wigggling his jelly roll in Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates.  Wait until you see Zac Efron later on!

3. Adam as Adam, with a snake and an apple.  I'm not sure about this one.  Backside looks a little too hairy.

4. A very young Adam in a football uniform.  Looks like he's packing.

5. A side view in a hospital gown in Workaholics.

6. Hey, who let the gay guy from Bumper in Berlin in here?

More Adam, Tony, and Ders after the break

Avan Jogia: The Johnny Depp of "Victorious" grows up, dates Beau Mirchoff, but is he gay?

I only watched a few episodes of the Nickelodeon teencom Victorious (2010-2013).  It was about the same as a dozen other Nick/Disney Channel teencom, with:

1. A girl who wants to be a singer (does any girl ever have any other career goal?)

2. A best friend

3. A snobbish frenemy

4. A dork who is crushing on her (Matt Bennett).

5. A black guy (Leon Thomas III).

6. The hunk she is crushing on (Avan Jogia. above, who looks a lot like a young Johnny Depp). . 

 In my review, I called it "alnost gay" due to a buddy-bonding subtext and one line: a character says that she is going to visit "her uncle and uncle" in San Francisco.  Fans went to extraordinary lengths to argue that she could not possibly have meant a gay couple.

Looking for one of the Victorious stars to profile, I checked two things: Is he gay?  Does he have any n*de photos online?

1. Matt Bennett.  

Gay: No.

N*de: In The Virginity Hit (2010), he shaves his pubes, and you can kind of see an outline.

2. Leon Thomas III.

Gay: No

N*de: Rear shot as he is getting cozy with a woman in Insecure (2016-21).  There are like twelve rear shots of black guys, two of whom are gay, so I'll have to look it up later.

3. Avan Jongia

Gay: Probably.  He uses he/they pronouns, and he dates Beau Mirchoff in Now, Apocalypse (2019-20)

More after the break.  

Gemstones Episode 2.4, Continued: Patricide, incest, cake, and frolicking muscleboys. With a n*de wrestler bonus

 

In case you want my insightful analysis without the icky n*ked guys, here's a G-rated version of Episode 2.4.

Nope, let's see the icky n*ked guys.

The Baptism After-Party: An elaborate affair, with many humorous set-pieces that reveal the inner state of the characters:

 

Levi, the only single member of Jesse's crew, dances joyously by himself amid dozens of pink balloons.

A life-sized BJ cake, so you have to cut slices out of his head. 

The outraged Kelvin chooses two cupcakes, carefully removes the pins, places a napkin on top of them, and splat!

Jesse and Amber seethe with rage as Eli dances with a lady.

Eli tries to be friendly to BJ's family, but Judy interrupts him: "They're from Asheville.  They hate God."  "Yes, but God loves them."

When BJ enters in his shiny pink "romper with a cummerbund," his family criticizes him for being feminine, but he counters that men can wear one-pieces.  Then they complain that he is a child, a little baby, not a man at all. (Notice the parallel with Kelvin constantly trying to prove that he is a "fully-grown adult man.").  He's ridiculous, the Gemstones are ridiculous, he's ruining his life.   BJ rushes back to his dressing room and tears off the outfit (some momentary beefcake).

Since when does Eli Gemstone like ladies?;.  As the party is winding down, Kelvin and Jesse meet at the baptistry and discuss how Eli always ruins their plans, "I wish I could fight that man!" Kelvin exclaims.  "I'd destroy him...make him look like a fool."  Eavesdropping, Baby Billy notes that he's wanted to fight Eli many times over the years.

Kelvin tells him that Eli has been having  encounters with "multiple somebodies"  Jesse continues: "Dude fancies himself a damn c*cksmith...trying to make himself into a big character for the ladies." Interesting that Jesse specifies women, but Kelvin does not.  Women just don't pop into his head when he thinks of s*x. 

Baby Billy finds this hard to believe. "Eli Gemstone...with the ladies?"  Why, when you were young, was he just into guys?

All women want to screw their brothers: Judy accosts BJ's sister KJ in the ladies' room, claiming that "siblings have to hate siblings' spouses."  Jesse and Kelvin hate BJ, because he "took her off the market," made her unavailable: "They may be my brothers, but that don't mean they're not sitting in their room at night, thinking they might someday get to hook up with me." Does she not know that Kelvin is gay, or does it not matter?  Judy is definitely delusional, but we see how she has solved the eros/phileo problem: hook up with your relatives.   

KJ protests that Judy's theory is "disgusting": she would never hook up with her brother.  "Well, what if I held a gun to your head?"  Then she might consider it. "I knew it!" Judy exclaims in triumph. "BJ is mine!  Stop fighting me for him!"  

The Fist Fight:  As Keefe passes out the food he stole, Kelvin seethes and bursts balloons,  and KJ complains that the Gemstones are a "train wreck" of a family, BJ throws a piece of cake at her -- which hits Eli just as he is schmoozing with a senator!  "You kids are an embarrassment!" he exclaims.  

As Eli leaves the party, Kelvin appears to yell  him about the Judean desert trip: "You made me look like a fool in front of my men." 

"I'm not spending one cent so you and your muscle boys can frolick in the desert!'   Frolick is feminine: Eli believes that Kelvin is planning an homoerotic orgy in the desert.  Referring to them as muscle boys, not men, enrages Kelvin, and he attacks.  

The two have a fist fight in the foyer of the church, with everyone watching, Keefe and the musclemen doing a chest-pound display of loyalty.  Kelvin throws one of BJ's gifts at Eli: he ducks, and it smashes a picture of Aimee-Leigh.

"You could have killed me!"

"I wish I had!" Kelvin cries.  Wait -- killing your father, sex with your siblings.  This episode is overloaded with Freudian symbolism. 

More after the break

"Keeping Company": Insurance agents fight psycho-slasher, with gay characters, Chris Estrada, William Russ, and a bonus Adam Devine

Keeping Company (2021), on Paramount Plus, not to be confused with the other Keeping Company (2021), has a promo that looks very much like an insurance agent trying to sell to a gay couple.  Naw -- impossible.  The studio suits would never allow it.  They must be brothers or something.

Still, it has gay performer Chris Estrada in a minor role, so it's worth checking out.

Scene 1: A drug dealer waits on a lonely corner. Shy  eyeglassed Lucas (Jacob Grodnik) drives by, locks him in the trunk, and returns to his middle-class neighborhood.  He glances at a photo of the Girl (heterosexual identity established at minute 1.48), opens the trunk, and does something off-camera to the drug dealer.

Scene 2: District attorney Glen Garry (William Russ, left) films a re-election commercial, promising to reduce the "all time high" crime rate.  

The crime rate in the U.S. is at a 30-year low, and you don't elect district attorneys. 

The commercial is playing at the home of a newlywed couple (John Milhiser, Bryan Safi), listening to an insurance spiel.

They did it!  They really did it!  The insurance agents are trying to sell to a gay couple,  with absolutely no discomfort or any indication that this is unusual.  They are newlyweds like any other newlyweds!

The actors are both gay in real life. John Milhiser has 73 acting credits on the IMDB, including Adam Devine's House Party, Saturday Night Live, UCB Comedy Originals, Gay of Thrones, Foursome, and Adam Ruins Everyrthing.

More after the break

One Night in Bangkok, Three Hundred Nights at Mugi

From 1985 to around 1993, I was in Mugi, the gay Asian bar in Hollywood, at least once a week, sometimes twice.  Probably 300 times in all.   And every single time I was there, they played "One Night in Bangkok."  It was ingrained into my brain; even today I often catch myself singing:

One night in Bangkok, and the world's your oyster.
The bars are temples, but the pearls ain't free.

Oddly enough, when I visited the real Bangkok in 1988 to "rescue" Alan, I never heard the song once.

I guess the owner was a little short on Asian-themed pop songs.  "One Night in Bangkok" was composed for the musical Chess (1984).

Yes, there was a musical about chess.  It was based on the match between chess superstars Bobby Fischer and Boris Spassky at the 1972 World Chess Championships,an American and a Russian, one of the epic battles of the Cold War.

I haven't seen it -- reviews complain that it is over-long, over-wrought, clunky, and exceedingly dull.  And it sounds rather homophobic. .

Chess champion Freddie Trumpeter (played by Murray Head in the British version and Philip Casnoff in the American) must face gay "accusations."  His father states that he's "probably queer," and his Soviet opponent, Anatoly (Tommy Korberg, David Carroll) calls him a "fruit" (a "nut" in the American version), and steals his girlfriend.

"One Night in Bangkok" appears on the night before an early match between Freddie and Anatoly.  Freddie wanders around town, trying to stay focused.

He dislikes Bangkok, "Oriental city," with its "muddy old river," its decadence, and its evil: "I can feel a devil walking next to me."

He disapproves of the drag queens: "the queens we use would not excite you."

And especially the feminine gay men: "you'll find a god in every golden cloister, and if you're lucky, then the god's a she."

Not the message you want to send to patrons of a gay Asian bar!

But at least gay people and transvestites are mentioned, a rarity in the 1980s.


See also: The Theme Song of 1000 Nights in a Leather Bar.

Glenn Scarpelli: The star of "One Day at a Time" and "Jennifer Slept Here" grown up, out, and married

Link to the n*de dudes

One Day at a Time, one of the iconic television shows of the 1970s, sent newly-divorced Ann Romano into the wilds of a never-described Indianapolis, to fight sexist oppression and raise her two daughters.  But by 1980, the daughters had grown, and they needed a new kid.  Instead of having a long-lost cousin show up, they acquired one by having Ann date single father Nick Handris (Ron Rifkin) for 19 episodes before killing him off.  The boy's mother wanted nothing to do with him, so Ann offerd to take in Alex (13-year old Glenn Scarpelli).

One Day was really a dramedy, so they spent some Time exploring the impact of having a dead father and uncaring mother before moving Alex into hetero-horny plotlines: his girl-crazy first date,  his foray into a female tournament, his attempt to "lose his virginity," and having to choose between a hot date and an important event with father figure Schneider.  

As he started to mature -- and bulk up -- Glenn got the full teen idol treatment, with beefcake posters, gushing articles in teen magazines, a record (ntitled Glenn Scarpelli), and girl-magnet stories in Archie Comics (it helped that his father was Archie artist Henry Scarpelli).

He had his own float in the Macey's Thanksgiving Day Parade, where he sang his own song, "Doodle Bug."

Glenn stayed on One Day at a Time for only two seasons. In  Season 9, the household would be splitting, and Alex's role minimized, so Glenn bowed out for a role in Jennifer Slept Here (1983-84).

A family moves into a house occupied by the ghost of a Marilyn Monroe-like s*x symbol who died a few years ago -- but only the family's teenage son (John P. Navin, Jr., left) can see her.  She becomes his mentor in girl-crazy adolescence while trying to preserve her memory and s*x-symbol appeal.  Glen played the son's his best friend and competitor for girls.

Superstar Debbie Reynolds, Poltergeist medium Zelda Rubenstein, and game show host Monty Hall had guest spots. A sure-fire hit, right?   But the network kept moving it to slots next to the last half-hour of blockbusters, The Dukes of Hazzard on Friday,  T.J. Hooker on Saturday, and finally The Fall Guy on Wednesday,  and it was canned after 13 episodes.

Meanwhile Glenn was appearing in 52 episodes of the children's 3-2-1 Contact (1980-83) as Cuff, a detective who solves cases using the scientific method.

Three episodes of Love Boat (1983-85), playing hetero-horny three characters.

A McGyver (1990), as a troubled high school student who drops out to work in construction, even though he's a McGyver-style scientific genius

An episode of Amazing Stories.

Glenn wanted to be true to himself, but Hollywood wouldn't allow it during the homophobic 1980s ("100 times more homophobic than today").  He started his career on Broadway, playing against Anne Bancroft in Golda and Al Pacino in Richard II, so he returned to New York and enrolled in the NYU Film School. 

He dropped out when his first partner, talent agent Gary Scalzo, was diagnosed with AIDS.  

When Gary died in 1992, Glenn needed a complete break from show business, so he moved to Sedona, Arizona, known for its mysticism and spirituality.

More after the break. 

David Naughton: The cutest guy of the Disco Era tells us to "Be a Pepper" and shows his d*ck

  

Is this not the cutest guy you've ever seen?  Other than Wes Stern (sigh) and Adam Devine, of course.

Link to David's d*ck

Between 1977 and 1981, the recent University of Pennsylvania graduate David Naughton could be seen in dozens of tv commercials, prancing about in a white shirt, black vest, and bulging jeans, selling Dr. Pepper.

"I'm a Pepper -- wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too?"

I don't like the soft drink, but the spokesman was one of my first crushes.

David's fame from the commercials led to an invitation to star in Makin' It (1979), a rip-off of Saturday Night Fever with David and Greg Antonacci as disco-dancing brothers.  He also recorded the theme song:

Makin' it, oo makin' it, I'm solid gold.

I've got the goods

They stand when I walk through the neighborhoods

I'm makin' it

"Hit tv series" was a little premature: Makin' It was canned after nine episodes.

Next came Midnight Madness (1980), with teams of college students on an all-night scavenger hunt.  David's team, the good guys, includes his younger brother (Michael J. Fox before Family Ties).  There are also teams of jocks, spoiled rich kids, and girls.  I didn't notice any gay subtexts.

But American Werewolf in London (1981) has one.

College students David and Griffin Dunne are hiking through the Scottish highlands, when they are attacked by a werewolf.  Griffin is killed, and David turns, in scenes that emphasize his physique -- and p*nis.

He falls in love with a girl and uses a homophobic slur, and  his dead buddy Griffin keeps encouraging him to commit suicide. And -- spoiler alert -- there is no happy ending.

But the buddy-bonding subtext, the disco physique, and the d*ck (almost unheard of in mainstream movies at the time) were enough to make American Werewolf a must-see for gay men.

More after the break