The n*ked guys of "Spartacus: House of Ashur"

 

Link to the n*de photos

Spartacus (103-71 BCE) was a Thracian slave who escaped from a gladiator school with 70 of his followers and started the Third Servile War: 120,000 enslaved persons rebelling against the oppressive Roman Republic. 

In 1951, Howard Fast self-published Spartacus, a novel about the slave revolt, as a protest against his incarceration during the McCarthy Era witch hunts.  

The 1960 movie version starred Kirk Douglas as Spartacus.  It famously includes a scene, cut from the theatrical release but restored in 1991, where the power-hungry  senator Crassus and his slave Antonius (Sir Laurence Olivier, Tony Curtis) discuss being gay, in severely closeted terms, as the eating of oysters vs. the eating of snails: "It is all a matter of taste, is it not?" 

The 2004 movie (aired during two nights on the USA network) starred Goran Višnjić as Spartacus, and upped the participation of his wife, transforming the story into a heterosexual romance.

A Spartacus tv series, with seasons given different names (Blood and Sand, Gods of the Arena, and War of the Damned), aired on Starz between 2010 and 2013.  It starred Andy Whitfield (left), and after his death Liam McIntyre.  A lot of n*de guys, such as James Wells as Totus and Manu Bennett as Crixus (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

Plus there were several gay characters, including Spartacus' best friend Agron.

Assyrian slave Ashur (Nick E. Tarabay) becomes one of the series' primary antagonists when he collaborates with the Romans in their attempt to bring down the slave rebellion.  Eventually beheaded.  Shouldn't that be Asher, one of the Twelve Tribes of Israel?

He has returned in Spartacus: House of Asher (2025), a sort of sequel which posits that he killed Spartacus, returned to life, and now runs a gladiator school.

From a civil war to a school?  Trying to minimize political references that could get you in trouble in the fascist state?

I'm out of space, so let's just look at the n*de guys (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

Lucas Blas: Spanish teen idol with at least three gay/trans roles and a lot of boyfriends. Bonus n*de Spanish dudes

Link to the n*de photos.

Spanish actor Luca de Blas or Lucas Blas appeared on the teen idol website with the usual teenage beefcake and bicep photos.

Quite a lot of beefcake and bicep photos.

But when I started looking at his works, I found something else.

I found a boy wearing a crown of flowers.

Everyone else in the village wears sacks over their heads, but Lucas is not afraid to show his true face to the world.  Even when he is in prison, he weaves himself a crown of flowers.

The villagers grab him and take him to a church to be sacrificed.  He begins to bleed.  The singer, gay musician Dulzano, jumps in, but it is too late; Luca dies in his arms.

It is the music video Jota de la Luna (2025), with lyrics that recall gay poet Garcia Lorca, giving us a poignant view of homophobia and the need to be who you are. 

We must bring flower to flower/ when summer dries the blood of the Reaper

And open our hearts to sleepless birds
When winter knocks trembling at the door
When night falls I will say it
When the clear night arrives

I found an episode of Bosé, a biography of the famous gay (or "trisexual") singer Miguel Bosé (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).  Lucas plays  the young gay singer Carlos Berlanga, whose "¿A quién le importa?", released in 1986, became a gay anthem during the AIDS pandemic.

Who cares what I do?

Who cares what I say?

I am this way, and this way I'll stay

Nothing can change me.

I found Lucas wearing makeup, approaching his mother, arguing with her, trying to hug her. Later he grows his hair long and puts on a dress, suggesting trans identity, or maybe a femme gay boy.  It was Ali (2021), a short film that won four prizes and seven nominations: "A desperate cry of child abandoned by his mother, who cannot give him love": 

More after the break

15 gay facts about "White Christmas": gay actors, beefcake dancers, drag, Spartacus, and the source of your holiday depression

I'm not a big fan of the Holiday Season -- too big, bright, and noisy, with forced exuberance, and way too much melancholy.  I try to stay away from Christmas songs, movies, trees, holly, mistletoe, parties, and depression.  But I'll make an exception for White Christmas (1954).

1. It's not a Christmas movie.  It's a backstage musical that just happens to end at Christmastime.  Backstage movies were well-known for gay subtexts.

2. The song "White Christmas," by Irving Berlin (who was Jewish), first appeared in the backstage musical Holiday Inn, with Big Crosby and Fred Astaire. 

3. It's been covered by everyone, including gay favorites Bett Midler and Lady Gaga.

4. White Christmas is about two showbiz partners, Bob and Phil (Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye), who find their relationship threatened by women.

5. A musical based on the movie, Irving Berlin's White Christmas, opened in St. Louis in 2000. Lara Teeter (a guy with a girl's name) played Bob, and gay actor Lee Roy Reams played Phil Davis.

6. Phil has also been performed by Tony Yazbeck (top photo) and David Elder, who Google Images thinks is cowboy star Clint Walker (left).

7. The women in the movie, Judy and Betty (Vera-Ellen, Rosemary Clooney), are sisters.  At least, they perform as sisters, although their numbers would work well in a drag act.

God help the mister who comes between me and my sister
And God help the sister who comes between me and my man!

More after the break

"Son of a Thousand Men": Magic realism from Brazil with fragmented time and space, but there are gay guys and d*cks

Son of a Thousand Men (2025) popped up on the n*de celebrity website with a hung trifecta, playing N*de Men #1, #2, and #3, with Antonino. 

Link to the n*de dudes

But what is it about?  

Different reviews give us completely different plots:

1. "A lonely fisherman longing for a son is drawn into an ethereal light," and the boy appears.

2. "A gay guy enters a marriage of convenience with a foundling woman" 

3. "An older couple hires an actor to impersonate their gay son."

4. "A elderly man tells his grandson to stay away from gay men and lesbians" (VOD)

Maybe they're all correct.  I suspect that we are looking at magic realism, like 100 Years of Solitude, The House of the Spirits, and Cortazar's Hopscotch, where people merge into other people, time and space are fragmented, and the subconscious manifests in everyday objects.   

Let's try the trailer:

Scene 1:  Sometime in the 19th century, an elderly fisherman (Rodrigo Santoro) is living by himself. That's the beginning of a lot of fairy tales.

He has been driven insane by the isolation, so he makes a creepy boy doll that he pretend is  real.   So is the doll going to come to life, like Pinocchio?  

Scene 2: He puts an ad in the village grapevine, "Elderly man seeks a son."  A teenage boy looks at it, but a preteen boy shows up. I think the teen boy turned into the preteen boy, and both are going to become the Fisherman.

Scene 3: The Boy wants the Fisherman to get a girlfriend, so he won't be lonely.  This might be a problem, since they live in the wilderness, a long, arduous journey from the nearest town. Who does he sell the fish to?   

Fortunately, at that moment the Woman of his Dreams appears, wearing a flowing white robe, sitting alone on the rocks. She must be a supernatural being, maybe an eidetic invocation of the Eternal Feminine.

The Boy doesn't think that the Woman of his Dreams is an appropriate partner for the day-to-day life of a fisherman, maye he can't see her at all, so he continues: "There are plenty of girls in the village."  This to a shot of someone who is definitely not a girl. I think he's Antonino from the n*de photos (Johnny Massaro), so maybe he was hanging out on the gay beach. 

Scene 4: Mom tells Antonino that she needs a grandchild, so get busy.

Scene 5: Antonino's wedding, to a woman trapped in a fishing net. Is this standard for Brazilian weddings, or does it signify that she's a sea creature?   This must be Plot #2: he's a gay guy forced to marry "a foundling woman." 

Scene 6: They settle in for their wedding night in separate beds.

Scene 7: In the morning, she leaves, wanders on to the beach, and says "Love ruins everything," just before the Fisherman sees her and is overcome by Girl of His Dreams fervor. So she's the Net Lady.  But I thought there were no other houses -- or hotels -- around for hundreds of miles. Maybe she walked through time and space.

Scene 8: Net Lady and Fisherman bond over screaming therapy, laugh, and swim in an ocean full of people, "all children of different mothers and fathers."  Obviously.

Meanwhile Antonino (I think) has a rather painful bout of self-gratification.

Scene 9: The Boy curls into a fetal position as hair drops on him.  So he's been to the barber?

People gaze at the ocean.

Net Lady (I assume) dies as the Fisherman holds her hand.

There's a giant glowing seashell.

Fisherman: "We're never really alone."

The end.

Still confused?  Me, too.  But I found a complete, detailed plot synopsis, untangled the magic realism fragmentation, and put the events in chronological order.

Unfragmented story after the break.  

Gemstones Episode 2.5: Yep, Kelvin is gay. But there's embezzlement and murder, too, and some accountant c ocks

  

Link to the c ocks

Episode 2.5 is a flashback to Christmas 1993.  Since two of the season's big questions are "Did Eli kill Glendon Marsh?" and "Is Junior trying to kill to get revenge?" we get some Eli-Glendon back story.

Knives or nunchuks? As the family is photographed at the Gemstone Christmas tree, Judy torments 4-year old Kelvin.  Jesse says that he's going to give him a weapon for Christmas, so he can defend himself: "Knives, or nunchuks."  Eli forbids him from giving his brother weapons.  Jesse complains that he's going to grow up to be "a pussy."  He explains that a pussy is someone who doesn't like to do things and is afraid of everything.  Sounds sort of like a gay stereotype.

You have to think of the optics: Eli is planning to move the Salvation Center to a giant coliseum.  The church board complains that he can't afford it: he's already spent church money on a private zoo and amusement park.  Hey, that's embezzlement!  They also advise that "the rich pastor is not a good look."  

But Eli won't listen: "I cannot imagine a more ridiculous comment.  Big means success. People want to see something bigger than life." Well, this is during the tail-end of the Reagan-Bush "wealth is virtue" era, with "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous," "Dynasty," and "Dallas."

"But we're spending more than we have!" accountant Terry (Mike Ostroski) complains. Gulp: Eli fires him!

Get that boy some mousse: Baby Billy shows up unexpectedly, having abandoned his wife Gloria and son (he claims that they abandoned him, but Aimee-Leigh calls her and discovers the truth).  

Kelvin: "Dang, Baby Billy is thirsty."  But Billy isn't drinking anything.  Does he mean "thirst trap'?  That expression won't be common until the 2010s, but apparently it is used here to indicate that he thinks his uncle is hot.  Remember that in Season 1, the adult Kelvin and Judy comment on the attractiveness of their grown-up nephew Gideon.  

Baby Billy tells Kelvin that his estranged wife said:  "You have the most boring haircut in the world.  Get that boy some mousse."  Kelvin is upset (concerned with his appearance, a gay stereotype). Remember that the adult Kelvin uses mousse to create that upward wave.

Later, Kelvin demonstrates that he can play the harpsichord blindfolded (um..big deal?  Nobody looks down at the keys while playing).  Baby Billy calls him a prodigy and hugs and kisses him, obviously looking for a brainy replacement for his special-needs son.  The siblings scoff.  This musical talent is never referenced again.

The Return of Glendon Marsh:  As Eli walks through the office, everyone smiles and says "Good morning, Dr. Gemstone."  Everybody.  It looks creepy rather than friendly. "Be nice, or he'll turn you into a toad." 

His new accountant, Martin, starts off on the wrong foot by sitting in his chair!  

 Glendon Marsh, his boss when he was wrestling and breaking thumbs back in Memphis, shows up unexpectedly and asks Eli to take care of $3,000,000 that he doesn't want the government to know about, and he can keep $1,000,000 for his trouble.  Hey, that's money laundering!  But Eli has already been embezzling, so what's the difference?  Aimee-Leigh and Martin disapprove, and Eli finally refuses. 

More after the break

Iain Armitage: Young Sheldon grows up, hugs guys, celebrates Pride. With n*de Galecki, Fisher, and Simon Rex

Link to the n*de dudes

I didn't like The Big Bang Theory (2007-19), featuring Johnny Galecki as the (relatively) stable center of a group of wacky nerd scientists who can't get any  "big bangs."  The hetero-horniness was incessant, and there were so many homophobic statements -- mostly asserting that all gay men wear dresses and prance  --- that I was more amazed than offended  Wasn't Jim Parsons, who played the neurotic physics savant Sheldon Cooper, gay?  Why didn't he protest?  (Apparently he was closeted until around the fifth season.) 

But I liked Young Sheldon (2017-24), about Sheldon Cooper's childhood, growing up in East Texas in the 1990s with a conservative Baptist Mom, a macho football-coach Dad, a macho muscle-building brother, and...you get the idea.

I grew up in the Nazarene Church, which taught that Baptists were much too liberal.  I could relate.

Plus there were lots of cute guys.  Sheldon's older brother Georgie (Montana Jordan) had musclebuilding plotlines before they switched to a "getting a girl pregnant" story arc.

If you're into chubs (and who isn't?), Dad Lance Barber had it all.

Next door neighbor Billy (Wyatt McClure) was too young to be hot, of course, but he had that puppy-dog cuteness that makes you say "Aww, how adorable!"  I figured that he would eventually come out, but instead the writers decided to give him a crush on Sheldon's sister.

And how about Rex Linn as Tom Peters, the longsuffering principal at Sheldon's high school. Wait, this is Simon Rex (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

There were no gay characters -- with or without Jim Parsons as executive producer, this was still a "family friendly" (non gay) show.  But also no casual homophobia.  Just a few references suggesting homophobia, as when someone asks if Sheldon is...you know, and Dad angrily yells "NO!"

And in Season 5, Sheldon tells his roommate Evan (Motoki Maxten) that he doesn't want to date girls because they are a distraction. 

"So you're into guys?" Evan asks nonchalantly.

"No, they're a distraction, too."

Actually, he turns out to be asexual hetero-romantic, although this is never specified on The Big Bang Theory.

But I'm pretty sure that Iain Armitage (Young Sheldon) is gay.

More after the break

Jakob Winters: Would a gay actor agree to star in family-friendly, gay-free "Mayberry Man"? Twice? With his backside and co-star c*cks

Link to the n*de photos

The Andy Griffith Show (1960-68) focused on Andy Taylor, as the sheriff of small-town Mayberry, and his mildly wacky family and friends, n a world where hippies, the Vietnam War, and the Civil Rights Movement did not exist (although gay-vague people did).  I never watched by choice: even at six and seven years old, I thought it unbearably square.  How about some science fiction, like Star Trek, or a hip parody like Laugh-In, or at least a show with cute guys?  No one in Mayberry was cute.

Andy Griffith went on to play oldster lawyer Matlock, and his tv son Ron Howard, to become a director infamous for turning gay characters straight.  Ugh.

So why does Amazon Prime think I'll "love" Mayberry Man (2021), "a family friendly film" that "will have you yearning for a simpler time?"  Those are two heteronormative gender-polarized gay-free red flags.  

The premise: A-list, snobbish, sinful Hollywood actor Chris ("husband, father, and Chris follower" Brett Varvel) is arrested for speeding in Georgia. Somehow it's legal for the judge to sentence him to a week at the annual Mayberry Festival in North Carolina, assisting the celebrity guest -- his estranged father, who had a bit part in Season 3 (for a show that old, you take whatever cast members you can find).  

He arrives all Hollywood excess, with his star-struck assistant Shane (Jakob Winters) in tow.  Both are seduced by the small-town charm and "good old-fashioned values," and meet the Girls of Their Dreams.  And God. And Chris reconciles with his Dad. 

The gay exclusion is so hot, it burns.  And there are no people of color, either.  They do have a woman mayor.  Shouldn't she be off cooking something?

I hate-watched some of the sequel tv series (2024), where they save the town from an evil developer or something.  The evangelization comes on hot and heavy:

Shane: "I hope no one steals the Baby Jesus from the Nativity scene." 

The Woman of Chris's Dreams: "Who would steal the Savior of the world?"

At least it has a swishy-straight Black character (in L.A., of course, certainly not in Mayberry), played by "Honor Thy Father and Mother" Christian comedian Christian McCartney.

And Jakob Winter or Winters (top photo) piqued my interest. For biceps like that, I can handle a little gay erasure and family-friendly fundamentalism.

I can't imagine that a gay actor would agree to appear in Mayberry Man.  But there are lots of beefcake shots available, and who knows?  Maybe he's accidentally appeared in something with a gay subtext.

He doesn't have a lot of social media presence, so I only managed to put together a few biographical details:

He's from Kenosha, Wisconsin., of German ancestry (another Jakob Winters designs violin cases in Deutschland).   

His mother has a different name. 

In high school he was in the marching band.

He was chubby and bullied until he started working out.

In 2016 Jakob enrolled at Ball State University as an acting major.

He performed at the Richmond Shakespeare Festival in 2018, playing minor characters in Macbeth and Florizel in A Winter's Tale. 

In 2020, he received a BFA in Acting, and moved to New York.

No Jakob Winter appears in any search of Ball State University or Kenosha, Wisconsin.  I wonder if he is using a stage name.

Next, his seven acting credits on the IMDB:

In 2020, an episode of What Would You Do?, a reality show where actors perform scenarios, and real-life bystanders respond.  

In a restaurant, a Bisexual Guy (Bryce Koehl, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) comes out as bisexual.  His Straight Friend (Jacob) says "Bisexuality doesn't exist!"  Bystanders rush to correct him.

In another scenario, his Gay Friend (Jakob again) tells him, "You're just gay and afraid to come out." Again, bystanders rush to correct him.

Performing in some skits that educate us about bisexual identity?  I'm shocked, Jakob. 

More after the break

"Happiest Season": Christmas romcom with a lesbian couple, pansexual Patrick, Jake's junk, and Candy Cane Lane

Link to the n*de photos

Happiest Season, on Hulu, is advertised as "A Holiday romcom about being true to yourself and trying not to ruin Christmas."  The icon shows three heterosexual couples, an unattached woman, and what looks like a lesbian couple, but ten to one they're bickering sisters.  

But the husband on the left is Dan Levy, pansexual Patrick of Schitt's Creek, and the hunky Jake McDorman, top photo, is at the top of the cast list, so I'll give it a try.

Opening:  They're a lesbian couple!  The opening consists of watercolor-type pictures of two women, a blond and a brunette, meeting, falling in love, going to a family Christmas, celebrating Halloween and Thanksgiving, exchanging gifts, and moving in together.  They kiss twice, so it's unlikely that viewers will identify them as "just close friends."

Scene 1: A residential neighborhood decked out for Christmas, called Candy Cane Lane.  A tour guide gives its history: it was started by Herb Flack, with his nephew Otis playing Santa Claus "until he was arrested for child endangerment."  A pedophilia joke?   The ladies are taking the tour.  The brunette asks the blonde, if she hates it.  No, but she's just not a Christmas person. 

 The rich brunette is named Abby, and the poor blonde is Harper.  Somebody goofed --  Harper absolutely has to be the rich one.  It's impossible to keep their names straight, so I'll call them Rich Brunette and Blondie. 

Blondie doesn't like Christmas?  A major crime in these movies, and in real life during the month of December. Rush her to a re-education center, stat!  Girlfriend argues that it's impossible to not love Christmas -- I've heard that argument a lot -- but Abby stands firm.

Next Brunette drags her to a house that's not on the tour and up to the roof, so they can look down on the lights.  "Now you love it, right?"  Sure, trespassing makes any holiday more festive.

They complain about being separated for the holidays, kiss and...uh-oh, the homeowner hears them.  They slide off the roof, destroying an inflatable snowman, and run away.  The homeowner is a Santa Claus dominatrix and her reindeer-costume sub, har har.

Brunette has an idea: she asks Blondie to come to her parents' house for the holidays.  Wait -- the water-color intro already showed them with the parents at Christmas.   She agrees.  They kiss for like five minutes. 

What happened to Herb Flack and Otis?  You can't name characters and then have them not appear.  We don't even see Candy Cane Lane again.

Scene 2:  The ladies' elegant brick house in downtown Pittsburgh.  Blondie works as a pet sitter?  Girlfriend must be an heiress. An old-fashioned phonograph playing a new song, "Jingle Bells" by Bayli, as Blondie says "We need to talk."  Uh-oh.  

It's nothing bad.  She just wanted to say that she got a substitute pet-sitter, John, so she can go.  Um...the first rule of fiction, even in frothy gay-positive fiction: there has to be conflict.

Cut to a coffee shop, where Blondie is giving John (Dan Levy) pet-sitting instructions.  Wait -- in the intro, he's celebrating Christmas  with the ladies and the parents.  I thought he was Brunette's brother-in-law, married to the scary-looking sister.   

John is distracted because he left last night's hookup alone in the apartment, so he has to keep tracking him to make sure he leaves.  

Takeaway: he tracks all of his friends.  This will become important later.

In other news, Blondie is planning to ask Brunette to marry her.  John is against it: they're a perfect couple right now, so why spoil things with an archaic assimilationist ritual, trapping her girlfriend in "the iron box of heteronormativity"?

Also: she wants to ask Brunette's dad for his blessing first. You've been reading too many Jane Austen novels, girlfriend.

Scene 3:  Establishing shots of their trek out of the city into the deep, dark wilderness.  You know Pittsburgh is just an hour's drive from West Virginia, right?

Big reveal: When Brunette said that she was out to her parents, she was lying.  They think she is straight, and Blondie is her "roommate."  So, you're about 30, you haven't mentioned a boy in 15 years, and you're  living with a woman. Girl, they know.

And they can't come out now, because Dad is running for mayor, and he's trying to impress this important, homophobic doner.  Sounds like the plot of La Cage aux Folles.

Besides, he has made it very clear over the years that he will only love his children if they are perfect, and being gay is by definition imperfect.

When they arrive, it turns out that there are three sisters and a scheming ex-girlfriend, all with long black hair, so I can't tell them apart.  But apparently they all have imperfections that they're keeping secret so Dad won't stop loving them:

Eldest sister and her husband are separated and divorcing, but pretending to be together.  The husband is played by Burl Mosely, seen here on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, where he sings "Don't Be a Lawyer."

Brunette is an imperfect lesbian.

Youngest daughter is writing a Harry Potter-like young adult fantasy novel in secret. 

 Pop Quiz: What happens next?

1. T/F: Brunette dumps Blondie for her ex-boyfriend.

2. T/F: John agrees with Brunette's decision to stay in the closet.

3. T/F: John gets a romantic partner

4. T/F: There are several other LGBT characters.

5.T/F: When Brunette comes out, her parents are fine with it.

Answers after the break.  

"Weapons": Mysterious disappearances, a positive gay couple, a scary clown lady, a femme boy, and a lot of n*de dudes. What's not to like?

Link to the n*de photos

Weapons (2025), on MAX: in the stereotypic small town of Maybrook, Pennsylvania, 17 of the 18 children in a third grade class disappear from their beds at exactly 2:17 am.  Security cams show them sneaking out of their houses and running into the woods, with their arms out like they're pretending to fly.  

I thought this was going to be a mysterious disappearance with no solution movie, like Picnic at Hanging Rock, but there is a solution: we find out what happened to the kids at the end.  Before that, we see the effects of the tragedy on five people:

Justine

The teacher, Justine (Julia Garner), and the surviving kid, Alex (Cary Christopher), are interrogated, and their houses searched, with no clues.  They had no idea that it -- whatever it was -- was going to happen.

A month later, still with no clues, Justine speaks to the parents at a memorial assembly.  She swears that she  doesn't know what happened, but they don't believe her. "You did something to our kids!" the parents yell.

It doesn't help that she's an alcoholic who picks up booze every day on the way home, she picks up strange men in bars (well, to be fair, I do that, too), and she was fired from her last job for inappropriate behavior with a child.  Principal Marcus (Benedict Wong) decides that it would be best for her to take a leave of absence.

One of her hookups is the Cop Paul (Alden Ehrenreich), who is trying to get clean and sober and stop cheating on his wife, but she gets him drunk and takes him home (no beefcake).

The principal has forbidden her from contacting the traumatized surviving kid, but she starts staking out his house.  Weird -- the windows are covered with newspaper, and when she snoops inside, she sees his parents sitting on the couch, motionless, like zombies,  Alex yells for her to go away, but she continues the stake out.  She falls asleep in her car, and a lady in scary clown makeup bursts in and cuts off a lock of her hair.

Archer

Construction worker Archer (Josh Brolin, left, backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) is sleeping in his missing kid's room and mourning their loss (I thought it was a girl due to their long hair and femme features, but it turns out to be a boy, Matthew).  His wife insists that he go to work, so he heads to the house he's building.  The construction crew is having problems: no sodding, and the door is painted the wrong color, darn it!  One expects him to start yelling, but he quietly puts the red paint in the back of his truck to exchange later.

Next stop, the police station, where the Chief says they have no more leads, so stop coming in every day.  

He checks the security cam footage of his child leaving, and notices that he's moving in the direction of the radio tower.  Maybe it sent a signal?  He asks the other parents for security cam footage of their kids, but doesn't get very far.

Then he sees Justine at the gas station/liquor store, and decides to ask her some questions.  But while they are talking, Principal Marcus comes rushing up, his arms spread as if he is flying, his eyes all white, and attacks her!  Archer tries to help, but the guy is incoherent, like a zombie.

Paul

Cop Paul happens to be the son-in-law of the Police Chief (Toby Huss) -- and he didn't get the job because of his qualifications.  They discuss how his wife is coming back early from her trip, and then he goes to work.

The long-haired, scuzzy-looking James is jaywalking -- better stop him!  He runs, so Cop Paul gives chase.  He finally catches the guy, handcuffs him, and starts searching his pockets -- uh-oh, a needle prick!  He's so outraged that he pummels James-- with the dashcam recording everything. 

When James regains consciousness, Paul lets him go -- but don't come anywhere near the police station, or report the assault, or you're dead!  

Back at the station, Paul asks his Police Chief father-in-law what to do.  He suggests getting checked for HIV, and forgetting about the video.  In 30 days it will vanish, so as long as James doesn't report, he's clear. 

James

Crack addict James (Austin Abrams. top photo, the one with the curly hair) calls everyone he can think of to beg for money, but they've all had enough.  He steals some things to pawn, but the pawn broker won't give him enough.  He breaks into Survivor Alex's house, and finds his parents, sitting like zombies.  Thinking "they must be high," he tries the basement, and finds the missing kids, standing still, lifeless, like zombies. 

There's a $50,000 reward for finding them!  He calls the police and asks about the reward, but they want him to come to the police station.

As he approaches, Paul sees him, gives chase, and attacks.  "But I know where the kids are!" he exclaims.

Paul drives him to the house, and leaves him locked in the police car while he goes inside.  Hours later, he returns, his movements shaky, his eyes white, and drags James in with him.

More after the break. 

Luke Speakman: The femme bully of "Weapons" meets a lot of hunks, likes capybaras, plays a boy raised as a girl. With Dad and Dylan d*cks

 

Link to the Dad and Dylan d*cks

When I saw Weapons (2025), a thriller about the mysterious disappearance of all of the kids in a third grade class (except one), I thought that the bully (left) was a girl due to their long hair and femme mannerisms -- until their dad called them Matthew (played by Luke Speakman).

There is a positively portrayed gay couple in the movie, played by Benedict Wong and Clayton Farris, and it's a nice change of pace to have the femme kid be the bully instead of the victim, so writer/director Zach Creger is obviously a queer ally.  But Matthew is not on screen long enough to express any same-sex interests (besides, the rule in movies is, all kids must be portrayed as heterosexual).  But maybe Luke Speakman is gay in real life. 

Left: Luke's birthday in April 2025: "Turned 12 today!  Guess I'm old now!"  Just wait, buddy.

Growing up in a heteronormative society, gay boys are often unaware that they like boys, or interpret their interest as friendship or hero worship.  And if they are aware, they are unlikely to mention it on their parent-curated social media pages.  But maybe we can catch some glimmers of same-sex interest to augment Luke's femme appearance.

Born in Athens, Georgia in 2013, Luke began acting on screen at age five, in Steven Spielberg's Amazing Stories (2020): he plays the young version of Sam (Dylan O'Brien, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends), who goes through a time portal to the 1920s and meets Girl of His Dreams (be careful, she could be your great-grandmother).

Next came seven episodes of the podcast series The Burned Photo (2021-22): two women's "lives become intertwined when they discover they are being terrorized by the same multi-generational curse that is determined to end their family lineages."  So some lesbian subtexts going on?

Five episodes of Lost Man Down (2022), about an aspiring actor masquerading as a talent agent.  Luke plays a baseball fan who believes in aspiring player Takeshi (Tsuyoshi Kusanagi, center).  The guy with them is not Tsuyoshi's boyfriend.  I don't think.

More after the break

Bobby Hogan: From homophobic college to Parody Spiderman, with some significant d*cks in between

 

Link to the significant d*cks

"The Lake," from Season 2 of  American Horror Stories, follows the recent American Horror Story pattern of minimizing or eliminating LGBT representation.  In the first scene, three hot guys and three bikini-clad girls are on a boat, discussing how heterosexual they are.  Jake (Bobby Hogan) has a map of the village that was flooded to create their lake, so he and his sister dive down and look for souvenirs.  Suddenly a green tendril grabs him and pulls him into the muck.  He doesn't appear again, except as a corpse.  In fact, none of the cute guys appear again.  The story is all about sister Finn and her mother discovering the evil secret of the lake.

Heteronormativity or no, I wanted more than just one scene worth of Bobby Hogan's chest and abs, so I researched him on IMDB and his instagram, looking for beefcake and evidence that he is gay.

Not much biographical information.  On his Facebook, he says that he is from St. Louis and Chaminade College Preparatory School and Belmont University in Nashville.  Chaminade is Catholic, and Belmont is "Christ-centered," affiliated with the Southern Baptist Church until it broke away in 2007, and intensely homophobic. 

Bobby starred in Escape to Margaritaville, Footloose, and Johnny and the Devil's Box, and graduated with a BFA in Musical Theater in 2019.  

Wait -- 90% of musical theater guys are gay.  How does Belmont even allow a musical theater degree program?  Bobby must be gay or gay-friendly, but then why would he choose a homophobic college and listen to rants about how evil he or his fellow drama majors are?  I'm confused.

That better not be an alcoholic beverage, Buddy Boy

On WeAudition, advertising a service helping you run lines, develop a character, and so on, Bobby states that he moved to Los Angeles in the fall of 2020 to begin his film/tv career.  Unfortunately, it was the start of the COVID pandemic, so roles were scarce.  He has 10 listins on the IMDB, beginning in 2021 with The Superhero Diaries  

He plays a Parody Spiderman in 7 episodess.  I watched some clips on Youtube: a date with Harley Quinn, and serenading Wonder Woman.  Depressingly heteronormative, but he displays a nice physique and bulge.

After that, a lot of guest gigs:

Duncan in the 9-1-1 Lone Star episode "Red vs. Blue."  It's actually about a cops-firefighter baseball game, not red states vs. blue states.

 Marine Recruit #6 in the movie Manifest Evil.  The trailer shows a man interacting with two women, yawn.

The American Horror Stories gig.

Trevor Logan on The FBI episode "Fortunate Son." A teen shows up at headquarters with a bag of fentanyl, and wants the gang to find out who killed his father.  

A soldier on the NCIS episode "Survival of the Fittest."  He is attacked by a genetic weapon.

Cole on SWAT

Joshua in Remy & Arletta, a Christian movie about two girls who are friends (not girlfriends).  A Christian movie?   Figures.

Two episodes on Chicago PD as Noah Gorman, a teenager who leaves home after his homophobic parents denounce him for being gay. He is kidnapped, but mom and dad don't care, it's what he deserves for turning evil.  He is found, badly beaten and traumatized, but won't say who the kidnapper was.  

Hank Voight, Jason Beghe, takes him in, since he has nowhere else to go.  In the next episode, he is kidnapped again and killed -- not in a hate crime, just a regular serial killer, but still an awful "bury your gays" moment.  If you are gay, you must die.

But at least Bobby had no problem with playing a gay character. 

More after the break