The adults don't believe in the threat of monsters, goblins, vampires, witches, or zombies, so it's up to the kids to save their town or the world: the teen nerd (who wins the Girl of His Dreams along the way), his wisecracking best friend (who has a gay-subtext attraction to him), and the outsider who derives vital monster-fighting information from classic movies.
Sound familiar? It's the plot of about a hundred movies from the 1980s, everything from Monster Squad to The Goonies to Hocus Pocus. But Vampires vs. The Bronx has an interesting twist: gentrification, rich white people squeezing out the black and Hispanic residents (who moved there in the first place because redlining kept them out of "white" neighborhoods).
Scene 1: Establishing shot of the Bronx. Becki the manicurist has been bought out by Frank Polidori , who comes in to finish the paperwork (uh-oh, John Polidori wrote "The Vampire" in 1819!) For Murnau Properties (uh-oh, Murnau directed "Nosferatu" in 1922). After she signs, a vampire sneaks in and bites her.
Meanwhile, a teeange boy is riding his bike through the Bronx, putting up fliers: "Save the Bodega Block Party." He wants to keep the bodega (grocery store) from being bought out by rich white people.
Miguel continues to be greeted by so many people that it's annoying. Does everybody love this kid?
He stops into the bodega, talks to the owner and his friend Bobby. Then he sees The Girl and gets all gooey-eyed. I thought in 2020, we would be more inclusive, but nope, there always has to be a scene e demonstrating that the kid isn't gay.
I'm fast-forwarding.
Miguel solves the vampire problem with the help of his two friends: bad boy Bobby, who has been expelled from school is being groomed to join a gang; and Luis the standard eyeglass-wearing monster-movie expert.
Miguel finally gets rejected by The Girl. His friends say "Don't forget your boys," and he hugs them and says "I love you guys." So there's a homosocial ending, anyway.
Two weeks later, he's at a "vampire-free" block party with his two friends and The Girl. So maybe it's a heteronormative ending.
Beefcake: none. There are various attractive adults in the cast, including Cliff "Method Man" Smith and Joel "The Kid Mero" Martinez, but nothing comes off, either in the movie or in a google search. (The top photo is just a random hunk.)
Gay Characters: Miguel moons over The Girl; Bobby flirts with girls constantly; but Luis doesn't express any heterosexual interest. Maybe he's gay, but if so, it's unstated and very well hidden. A google search on "Vampires vs. the Bronx" and "gay" reveals only advertisements for The Boys in the Band.
My Grade: The gentrification angle doesn't outweigh the heterosexism. C.
Latino boys like a lot of Latino men are on the down low when it comes to gay sex.
ReplyDeleteWhen did the "male minor establishes heterosexuality very loudly" trope begin? I see a lot of it in the 80s. Everything involving middle school and high school characters.
ReplyDeleteI think it began during the late 1970s, coinciding with the increased awareness that gay people exist. The same thing happened with adults: every tv series with a single male lead had an intro where he does a double-take at a hot girl, thus demonstrating that he is heterosexual.
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