Link to the n*de photos
The Satanists: Keefe is walking through downtown Charleston, eating an ice cream cone -- a childlike activity, maybe signifying that he has been "born again," started life anew. He had to give up his old Satanist friends and romantic partners to follow Christ, and now he's looking for new friends -- and a boyfriend (he does not yet think of Kelvin as a potential partner).
He looks longingly at a hot guy through the window of a sports bar (it's Kyle Walsh, who has been Adam Devine's assistant in 10 of his movies and tv shows). Then the hot guy turns around licks through a v-symbol: a vulgar offer of s*x, usually aimed at a woman. Disappointed, Keefe moves on.
Update: I have watched this scene several times, and Kyle is not addressing Keefe with the vulgar gesture; he is facing away, at an unseen person with an orange sleeve. It seems that Keefe is upset because Kyle has identified himself as heterosexual, thus not an appropriate romantic partner.
Next Keefe runs into his old Satanist buds, especially Daedalus and Cryptocore (who wears a gas mask and doesn't speak). They heard the he was hanging out with "those Gemstone weirdos," but he denies it. Then he refuses their invitation to a party at Club Sinister Friday night.As Keefe leaves, the Satanists demonstrate their new dance number. They look like they are having fun; he is tempted to join them.
Money is on my mind: While Quincy Jones' "Money Is" plays in the background, Martin and Judy (his secretary in this season) are showing Gideon how they separate the donations from the prayer requests (these are handled by paid prayer teams. Imagine being a professional prayer). The requests are then shredded, for liability reasons. Anything important, or a donation over $10,000, goes straight to Eli. The cash is then sorted and placed in the vault. Gideon's eyes light up as he gets an idea.
Fancy Nancy: "Gay, you know..." Wait, is Amber talking about Kelvin?
The Nancys' problem: their teenage daughter Dot is on the wrong path, hanging out with an older, decadent boyfriend -- so they won't let her use the family helicopter anymore. Everybody volunteers to intervene, but Eli notes that Kelvin is the Youth Minister, so he should do it. He is thrilled: a way to earn his Daddy's respect!
Script problem: Shouldn't it be Kelvin's job by default? Why is there even a question? This seems to be a holdover from an earlier draft, when Dot was older.
Gay slur: Angry at being passed over for the job, Jesse criticizes Kelvin's glasses: "You look like Jeffrey Dahmer." The gay serial killer. Kelvin takes the glasses off.
What happened in Atlanta: We cut to Chad's wife Mandy telling the ladies that she broke into his email and found a message he received from Jesse last March: "Atlanta was dirty, dirty, for sure-y!" Other emails describe ladys' body parts, suggest getting tested, and ask how much he owes for the s*x workers.
Amber insists that it's none of their business. There are any number of innocent explanations. Later, she confronts Jesse, who gets mad at Mandy "for lying."
Timeline note: This episode takes place shortly before Easter 2022, which fell on April 17th. Mandy probably means March 2021, or she would have said "last month." So about a year has passed since Jesse's s*x-and-drugs party.
In Dot's room, they destroy: posters of the dark metal groups Bauhaus and Ministry; an ashtray; a "fidget spinner" (toy) that almost hypnotizes Keefe; two Ken dolls (used for gay play?); and a used condom. They bring everything out to their SCU (Spiritual Collections Unit) trailer. Lots of questions here: did they get a whole Satanic Sweep system started in just the few weeks since Keefe was saved (converted)? Wouldn't a real Satanist know that those so-called Satanic influences are bogus? And why are the Satanic Sweeps never mentioned again?
Keefe apologizes for displaying the used condom; Kelvin advises him that if it contains a semen-load, "don't even touch it." This queasiness about touching semen appears again in Season 2 with Judy and Jesse. Here Kelvin seems to be trying to steer Keefe away from his gay "lifestyle," which involved touching a lot of semen-loads. To emphasize his heterosexual manliness, he tries to draw Keefe into a play-fight.
Suddenly Dot's boyfriend Austin (Blair Jackson) appears. "I bet you money that was his s*men-load," Keefe says. As they are drawn instinctively to thoughts of his penis, Kelvin decides to "Snip him right out of this situation." C*stration joke, har har.
The 40 Year Old Virgin: Concerned that the Satanic Sweep had a s*xual intent, Austin warns Kelvin "you go through my girl's panty drawer again, I'll whomp your ass." He then calls Kelvin a "40-year old virgin!" "So what?" Kelvin responds. "I made a celibacy promise."
If Kelvin is not lying to save face, he has a definitional problem. Protestants do not have celibacy (no s*x ever); they have chastity (no s*x before marriage). Evangelicals are encouraged to "be fruitful and multiply" by marrying and raising children. Ministers especially need wives. When I was in the Nazarene Church, no unmarried man could be ordained. Growing up, Kelvin would have been strongly discouraged from taking a vow of celibacy.
But if he thinks that gay activity is sinful, Kelvin might take a vow of celibacy to both explain his lack of interest in women and try to avoid men.
More after the break
Don't f*ck it up: After a scene where Jesse criticizes Chad for not deleting the various emails about his infidelities, we cut to the garden, where Kelvin is telling his Dad Eli that Dot is "very s*xual -- a lost cause." Notice how he conflates s*x and sin.
But the Nancys are major donors, and Eli won't let him quit. Besides, he's always saying that he's great with kids, "the Teen Whisperer." This statement suggests that Dot was never considered a potential girlfriend for a heterosexual Kelvin. She is always described as "a kid."
Eli continues: "You're the baby of the family. I've been babying you too long. This is your chance to prove yourself. Do not f*ck this up."
I'll let you buy me dinner: At the campground, Gideon gives Scotty the intel he learned from Martin: they receive an offering of over $1,000,000 on normal Sundays, but on big holidays, $3,000,000. It's counted and placed in the vault overnight Sunday. On Monday it's deposited into the bank. Wait -- is that all in cash? Don't people just throw a few bucks in the offering plate? If they're going to donate a lot of money, they'll write a check, or just have it deducted automatically from their bank account.
Scotty "goes dark" for a moment, brags about his own stuntwork, and criticizes Gideon's. Then he becomes downright friendly and says "I'll let you buy me dinner."
You Shine: Cut to Kelvin appearing at Dot's lacrosse practice at North Jackson High School (in-joke: this is where Danny McBride's character worked in his earlier series, Vice Principals). Like her boyfriend, Dot's friends think that Kelvin has a romantic interest in her. The background music, Sweet Cheater's "Summer," supports them:
Spending my time alone with you
Take a ride, baby, to the stars, in the backseat of my car
Ooh yeah, it feels so right, you belong with me tonight
Dot assures them that he’s harmless, “just an a*hole from church.” He swishes down from the bleachers and squeals “What’s up, girl!” like the flamboyant gay friend in a romcom, a queer code that signifies his utter lack of romantic or sexual intent.
He apologizes for the Satanic Sweep, oddly characterizing it as a “hang” between friends, and invites her to a teen trampoline party at the Sky Zone tonight: “No presh, just come by. If you like it, great. If not, you’ll never see me again.” This is the rhetoric of someone who wants to make a friend, not find a girlfriend.
When she agrees, Kelvin adds: “What if we go no boyfriend tonight. Just you. You sparkle without him – know that.” Austin is too old for the teen group, so he wouldn’t be permitted anyway; Kelvin is simply stressing that Dot doesn’t need an older boyfriend, or “semen loads,” He skips off, still the flamboyant gay friend: “It’s gonna be fun, girl!”
When the episode first aired, some very desperate fans thought that Kelvin was straight, and interested in Dot, but what straight guy makes a date, then skips off with "It's gonna be fun, girl!"?
Notice that they're both wearing "Faith Factory" T-shirts, but none of the kids are. Keefe is now Kelvin's assistant youth minister.
Dot appears. Kelvin is "super-pumped that you didn't bring your idiot boyfriend." Do you still think he's straight, after the "harder, harder" joke?
He clears a space. Keefe says: "These feats of physical strength are amazing." Yeah, Kelvin is hot. He performs some professional-looking acrobatic stunts.
Gideon and Scotty's Date: Dinner is pizza and beer at the Shem Creek Restaurant in Mount Pleasant, to the song “You Knock Me Out.”
Scotty envisions their new life in Thailand, after stealing the money from the vault. He mentioned the ladyboys earlier, but it's worth repeating that Thailand is a well-known destination for gay tourism. He also wants to repair the hard drive containing the s*x-and-drugs party video, so "we f*k your Daddy again." Very graphic way of putting it.
Then he recalls their first meeting. Gideon was wearing a wig to be the stunt double for a woman (wigging," remember?), and Scotty was attracted: he came up behind him and grabbed "like you were a little piece." He means a potential s*xual partner. Apparently he likes people who are androgynous or nonbinary.He continues: "But you weren't. You were a friend." Gideon didn't mind being grabbed; apparently he liked it, since he accepted being drawn into a relationship.
"And I get you. I know you way better than your family does." He sounds like an abusive boyfriend: "No one understand you but me."
We cut to another scene on this busy Friday night: Jesse and Amber counseling Chad and his wife Mandy about the aberrant emails ("we were just fooling around"). Of course they mention intimate activities again. And we're off to Club Sinister.
Where's Dot?: This has been a very eventful night, with Keefe refusing a Satanic party invitation, Gideon and Scotty on a date and Jesse counseling Chad and Mandy to reconcile. He quotes Ephesians: "A man should love his wife as himself"..and we cut to Kelvin and Keefe standing together at the youth group. Wait -- a husband and wife? That's quite a structural hint that the guys have become a couple.
Whoops, Keefe runs into his Satanist friends, Daedalus (Josh Mikel), Cryptocore, and a lady, who think he's there for "pleasures."
They ask him to "Become the baby," an interesting parallel to Kelvin struggling to stop being the baby.
The raid: Meanwhile Kelvin is disgusted by various heterosexual couples and trios. He finds Dot and yells at her: "You used me! This is my one shot to prove to my Daddy that my place in the church is important, and you ruined it! You ditched me for this bozo!" Wait -- "Ditched me" for another guy"? You weren't on a date with her, dude.
The police raid! Austin has Molly (Ecstasy) on him, so he ditches Dot and vanishes, and she is knocked over by the crowd. Kelvin, shining in ethereal light, holds out a hand: "I got you." He helps Dot up (she is momentarily turned on by his hard chest), and they run. Fortunately, Keefe knows a secret way out from when he was a teenager, "dancing n*de in a cage by the DJ booth." They end up far from the club. But surely he's been at the club more recently?
Keefe's Satanist friends make one last request: they're going to go to the docks and "blast off." He refuses, but instead of denying his involvement with the Gemstones, he says: "I follow that man now. He's the light." Recall that Dot saw Kelvin in a glowing light.
He continues: "God put him on a path, and I'm gonna follow him down that path. I want to see where this road leads for that incredible being." At this point he still thinks of Kelvin as a spiritual leader rather than a potential boyfriend.
When they drop her off at her house, Dot concludes that Kelvin really cares about her, and agrees to come to the Wednesday night youth group meeting. Keefe climbs over the back seat into the passenger seat that she just vacated, and points out that she'll be an impressive feather in Kelvin's cap. He counters, "You're an impressive feather in my cap." They smile at each other.
Wait -- did Kelvin just choose Keefe over Dot? In-universe, he had no such choice to make, but look at the structure of the episode: the Satanic sweep; the competition with Austin; the lacrosse practice flirtation; triumphing overAustin at Club Sinister; Dot being momentarily attracted. It all points to the beginning of a romance. But Kelvin just drops her off at her house, and Keefe literally takes her place, definitively answering the question of whether he is heterosexual.
Silverback Apes: Scotty and Gideon are on their way home for a s*xual encounter, at least according to the background song, “Baby Do You Wanna?” by the Chuck Hall Band.
We got a one-way ticket up to the Promised Land
We're gonna shoot you up with passion, straight to hell
I ain't makin' no promises. but baby I'll never tell
They smoke marijuana and talk about a tribe of apes. Scotty would be the silverback, in charge, able to pick anyone he wanted. He obviously likes boys and girls both.
At the same time, Jesse and Amber are on their way home from visiting Chad and Mandy. Jesse sees the van and gives chase, explaining to Amber that these are guys he "plays car pranks" with. Scotty tries to elude him, but instead the van rolls over multiple times. The guys crawl out, miraculously unharmed, and run away; Jesse doesn't recognize Gideon. The end.
So, who were the evildoers with the "wicked lips"? Austin, Jesse, and Scotty? Not the Satanists -- they seem perfectly nice. And Kelvin, in this episode anyway, is a creature of pure light, with none of his usual pettiness or self-doubt. This will make his decline and fall all the more dramatic.
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