"I May Destroy You": Drama pretending to be a comedy about gay and straight victims of sexual assault in the Black British community

  

Since I watched Chewing Gum, MAX recommended another comedy set in the Black British community.  Not that I mind.  In I May Destroy You. Arabella became famous as the voice of the milennial generation with her first book, Chronicle of a Fed Up Millennial.  Facing writers' block as the deadline for her second approaches, she goes out with her friends to party, and something happens in the club restroom.  

She doesn't remember much, but it way have been a sexual assault. She puts her book on hold to find out what happened, with the help of her two friends, Terry and Kwame, who is gay.  I'm reviewing Episode 1.4, where Kwame and his boyfriend Damon (Paapa Essiedu, Fehinti Balogun) get a Grindr hookup.

Scene 1: Arabella sees a therapist about her trauma: she's fine when there are other people around, but when she's alone, the flashbacks become intense.  Also, she can't focus, and her book deadline is approaching.

Meanwhile, Kwame is in the supermarket texting someone.  He goes into the bathroom and has oral sex with a store clerk - we just see Kwame's knees in the stall, and the clerk as he leaves.  Afterwards he doesn't even look at Kwame as he rings up his purchases.

Back to Arabella: the therapist suggests finding some friends she can trust, and doing relaxing activities like yoga, jogging, or crafts.  Arabella texts her roommate Ben, to see if he's interested, but he's busy tonight, band practice.

Scene 2: Arabella attends Kwame's aerobics or self-defense class: they run in place vigorously, while he yells that they're going to defeat their enemies.  Are you an eagle or a pigeon?  

He takes a break to greet a shy guy whose grandmother liked his water-aerobics class earlier.  Kwame asks him out for coffee.  This dude is a major player, man.

Scene 3: On their coffee date, Kwame complains that his homophobic Dad can't even look him in the eye.  His date, who turns out to be Damon from the plot synopsis, has never met a brother who was...um...before. 

Kwame tells him: "You can say it.  Tell me what I am."  When the date says "A gay guy," he asks "Are we the same?"  He accepted the date, didn't he?

They have no place to go, since Kwame lives with his Dad, and the date with his Nan.  But how about if they find a  hookup on Grindr, and go to that guy's place? 

Scene 4: Arabella in the coffee shop, meeting with Zain, Karan Gill, whom her agent hired to help finish the book.  Except the coffee shop is closing.  How about his office?  No, her trauma won't permit being alone with a strange man.  A bar?  Ok.   

Meanwhile, Damon posts on Grindr: "A top and a bottom looking for a third." With a place, right?  He sorts through the responses, looking for a hot one. 

Scene 5: At the bar, Arabella reads a section of her book, about the main character finishing her Sprite and going to the toilet, while her date smears chicken grease on himself. Editor Zain doesn't like it. Neither did I.  I know I'm not in the intended audience, but it was disgusting. 

Uh-oh, Arabella notices a guy staring at her, another guy touching his girlfriend, the waitress bringing someone a drink, and starts to freak out.  She has to leave.

Scene 6: Arabella visits her brother, Tobi King Bakare, but he's just getting ready to leave for church.  She's just there to retrieve the arts and crafts supplies from her old room, anyway.  Then on the bus, trying to keep from flashing back to the sexual assault, and back to her apartment.

Meanwhile, the guys are on their way to the hookup.  Date Damon asks Kwame if he'll have to do anything with the other guy.  A three-way on your first time together?  Dude, you're asking for trouble.  They kiss on the doorstep, just as the Hookup, maybe Samson Ajewole, opens. 

More after the break

Scene 7: Editor Zain arrives at Arabella's apartment.  Wait -- she can't handle being alone with strange guys.  She interrogates him about his qualifications: studied creative writing at Cambridge, worked at Portland Press. They laugh; he gazes at her.  She tells him: "Did I know this was gonna happen?  Is this a good idea?"  He has no idea what she is talking about, but when she clarifies, "sex," he's into it. 

Roommate Ben interrupts to introduce himself, just in case.

In the bedroom, they're kissing, when she flashes back to the sexual assault. Maybe take things more slowly?  She asks him to stay anyway, and fumbles around.

Meanwhile, the guys sit in the bedroom, Kwame and the Hookup chatting: "Where you from?"  "If it's a black person asking, Nigeria.  If they're English, Barking and Dagenham." They're ignoring Date Damon.  I warned you. They start kissing.

Scene 8: Arabella and Editor Zain groping each other in their underwear.  They initiate sex. Butt shot, and maybe some cock as she asks him to turn over and go in from behind.  Hey, he took the condom off!  He must think it's unnecessary for anal.  Wrong!

Back to the Hookup: He's getting oral sex from Kwame.  He asks if Date Damon wants to join in, then ignores him to turn Kwame over for anal -- he wants to do it bareback!  Kwame refuses. so he puts on a condom -- butt shot.  Date Damon leaves; they don't care

Scene 9: Editor Zain finishes.  Arabella shows him where to put the used condom.  What, he took it off?  But pregnancy!  She is horrified! Apparently you can do vaginal sex in that position.  "I thought you wanted me to..."

Kwame gets dressed and starts to leave, but Hookup drags him back onto the bed, ignores his protests, pulls down his pants, and screws him again.  Nonconsensual, and he didn't use a condom!   

Scene 10: Arabella and Editor Zain go to the drug store for birth control pills, and walk away, sharing popcorn and flirting. 

Kwame runs out of Hookup's apartment building, cries, and calls Arabella, but doesn't tell her what happened.  The end.

Beefcake: Several shirtless guys, three butts, no cocks.  

Gay Characters: Three.

Heterosexism: Heterosexual and gay sex scenes are juxtaposed.  

Comedy: How on Earth would anyone classify this as a comedy?  It's a rather disturbing drama.

Plot Parallels: I didn't like that Arabella's sexual encounter had just a minor glitch in what will become a three-episode long romance, while Kwame's ended with his date leaving and a sexual assault.  

Will I Keep Watching: Probably   

Update: In Episode 5, Arabella recognizes it as a rape, according to British law, followed by gaslighting, and accuses him at a book conference.