Link to the Oscar d*cks
Scene 1: David (Ricardo Gómez) is trying to memorize passages from his Criminal Law text while driving a taxi through a party district in Madrid. Suddenly two guys appear with a semi-conscious third, Gordito (Jairo Sanchez) pile in. Their friend collapsed during dinner. They order David to drive them to the hospital -- and don't stop for red lights.
At the hospital, Jero (Carlos Bernardino) orders David to keep the meter running -- while he and the nurses rush Gordito inside. He steals the Criminal Law book so David will have to wait.
Carlos Bernardino played Armand in Jaula De Grillo, a Spanish language version of La Cage aux Folles, aka The Birdcage.
While waiting, David smiles at a hunky ambulance driver. He can't be gay, can he? Ricardo Gomez has played gay characters at least three times. Could this be #4?
Scene 2: An hour later, Jero returns, telling someone on the phone that Gordito has been admitted to the hospital, but he'll be fine. David wants to be paid, but skittish loose-cannon Jero points out that the taxi is stolen, and blackmails him into driving somewhere to get the money. I imagine that it's not really stolen, David has just borrowed it to make extra money while studying for his law exam.
Scene 3: The restaurant where they were eating when Gordito collapsed is now closed, but the owner is a close friend, and opens for Jero. They left in such a hurry that they forgot "the package." Uh-oh, these guys must be drug traffickers. And could the owner whip up some muffins?
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Scene 4: Now on to the hotel to get the money. Jero cautions David to not put down Andalusians -- the last guy who tried that got cut in half. Just kidding -- or not.
At the fancy hotel, as they walk down the hall, we see a black rooster wandering around for no reason. Then a hand with tattoos and rings beckons: "Come in, Jero. You know you want to." I can't tell the gender of the voice or the hand. Grinnng, Jero tells David to wait outside -- he'll just be a minute.
Scene 5: David gets tired of waiting and goes in. I was expecting a hookup, but it's an elegant party. One guy is stoking on cocaine, and people are lining up to slap a man's bottom, but otherwise it's subdued.
Jero introduces David as the guy who saved Gordito, and everyone cheers. Then he tells David to guard the muffins with his life, and vanishes. This is tremendously surreal.
A guy grabs the muffins, in spite of David's protests, and takes them into the bedroom to present to a shadowy figure in sunglasses. The muffin guy introduces David as the kid who saved Gordito, and asks "What should we do with him?" That sounds threatening. Is this like the Spanish Mafia?
"Give him a muffin."
David gets his muffin. It's not even homemade.
More after the break
Scene 6: Figuring he won't be getting paid, David leaves. The black rooster leads him into another room with a lot of gifts and bottles of booze on a table. And the package they retrieved from the restaurant -- full of money. Drug money! I knew it! He starts to take enough to cover his fee, but is distracted by the golden bullfighter costume on the bed, and just grabs and leaes.
Down in the cab, he counts -- 300 euros. But the meter only reads 170. The rest is stolen! "Fuck me!" he exclaims -- he's got to return it. Fortunately, he sneaks in and out of the room without incident.
Scene 7: It's early in the morning. He gets home just as his elderly parents are leaving for a trip.
He opens the refrigerator -- meals marked for every day of the week -- feeds the dog, strips to his underwear (whoa, he's hot), and gazes wistfully at his graduation photo.
Legal training in Spain requires a bachelor's and master's degree in law, followed by the examen de acceso a la abogacía (Exam for Admission to the Law). David must be studying for the exam.
Scene 8: Jero comes to the door. Gordito is still in the hospital, so you'll have to be the driver today. Wait -- is this the same day?
They go to the hotel and pick up -- it's not drug runners or mafiosi after all, it's El Maestro (Oscar Jaenada), a world famous bullfighter!
David swoons at his hotness, but El Maestro is not happy at being transported in a taxi. Couldn't David drive his limo? They go with a police escort past throngs of fans to the arena, where protestors splash blood on the windshield and chant "Bullfighting is barbaric."
"They're right," David says. "What you do is barbaric. El Maestro glares at him. Jero tells him to wait.
Scene 9: David waits around. He tells an old woman that his cab is occupied. Finally El Maestro returns on the backs of cheering fans. They get into the taxi and have to rush out quickly to avoid the crowds.
Gordito calls to congratulate El Maestro on his victory -- "And a kiss for the driver." So Jero kisses him on the cheek. That's a thing in Spain.
At the hotel, El Maestro's brother/assistant Ramon (Óscar Higares) tells David that Gordito won't be coming back, so they want him to be the driver all season.
"But El Maestro didn't like being transported in a taxi,."
"He warmed up to it. Today was the first time I've seen my brother smile in two years. He thinks you bring him luck."
"But I don't like bullfighting. I think it's barbaric."
"Here's your pay for the week."
David looks at the wad of bills. "Ok, I'm in." The end.
Beefcake: David in his underwear, a random guy's bottom.Oscar Higares and Oscar Janeada d*cks on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.
Heterosexism: None.
Coincidences: I expected many, but there's just one, driving Gordito to the hospital. After that, everyone is desperate for David to join El Maestro's entourage, so getting the driver job is inevitable.
Plot Twist: I liked how they kept teasing that something sinister was going to happen, but it turned out to be (nearly) innocent. But after the big reveal that it's bullfighting, not drugs, how will they keep up the surrealism?
Gay Characters: No one displays any heterosexual interest, except Jero gawks at a lady. And David displays same-sex interest at least three times. But I'm worried that his queer codes will be just crumbs, a series of hints with no resolution. I watched Episode 2, and all we get is David sent to a wild party to get ice, and tries desperately not to look at the penis of the naked bullfighter Juanlu (right).
On the other hand, the tagline says "A taxi driver. A bull fighter. A lot of luck." This tv series is about their relationship.
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