Link to the n*de photos
Heated Rivalry on MAX, features a clandestine romance between hockey players in the 2010s, when you had to be closeted or you'd be fired -- the first hockey player to come out was Brock McGillis -- in 2016, long after he retired. It's getting good reviews, except among gay men who complain that there's no plot, and star Hudson Williams is not really gay (so what? he's not really a hockey player, either). My main problem is, I know nothing about hockey except it's played on ice, and has the reputation for being violent. Will I be able to understand what's going on without conducting research? I'll review Episode 1.1
Scene 1: December 2008, Saskatechwan. The International Prospect Cup. I don't know what that is. Ilya (Connor Storie) is smoking out back, when Shane (Hudson Williams) from the rival team approaches to tell him that it's not allowed. They trash-talk each other's teams as the worst in hockey history, and establish their conflicting personalities: Shane is a by-the-books good boy, while Ilya is a rebellious, arrogant a*hole.
Cut to a newscaster telling us that this is a Canadian-Russian prospect game. I'm guessing that it's where prospective players show their skill?
The game begins: Ilya keeps looking up in the bleachers, which are empty except for a guy glaring at him. I think he's glaring at himself. This is never explained.
One week later: Crushing defeat for Canada, although Shane did a good job. Wait -- were there several Canadian-Russian prospect games?
Scene 2: Six months later. The Major League Drafts. I'm guessing that this is where the major teams pick new players based on their performance at the prospect games. Ilya got #1, and Shane #2.
The Montreal Canadiens want Shane, because he's cute and Asian-Canadian, breaking down racial barriers: "People are popping champaign all over Quebec." As they discuss how important hockey is to Canadian culture, Ilya glares at him from above.
Ilya is drafted by the Boston Bruins. They don't give the names of the teams; I had to look them up.
Scene 3: Shane in bed in his hotel room. Nice chest, buddy. He can't sleep, so he gets dressed, goes to the gym, and starts biking. Suddenly Ilya is beside him. They try to see who can bike the fastest. It's a draw. Then they sit across from each other and make boring small talk ("Montreal is nice." "Yes. People like it there") while sneaking peeks at each other and sharing water so they can touch hands.
Scene 4: Six months later, Ottawa. International Prospects Cup. Wait -- I thought they were already drafted into teams? Brother Alexei (Slavic Rogozine) calls to ask for more money, but Ilya is tired of forking it over to support his drugs-and-girls lifestyle. Alexei calls him a "f*ggot" and hangs up. Is that an all-purpose slur, or are you out to your brother?
Next Ilya calls his Dad, who asks him to "apologize to Russia" for losing his last hockey game.
"Well, we lost to the Czechs, but we'll beat Sweden."
"You'd better!"
Cut to "An amazing comeback for Canada, who trounced the Russians!" Wait Ilya is playing for Boston, not Russia, and he said they were going up against Sweden next.
Scene 5: Six months later, Toronto. Time is passing so quickly that I'm getting dizzy. Ilya and Shane pose for a commercial about the game. The director complains: "Would you guys try to hit your marks at the same time?"
Cut to Shane gawking at Ilya as he practices, while his Mom talks to him about wearing sneakers. "A lot of Asian kids will be looking up to you as a role model." So he should wear sneakers?
Cut to the showers, with Shane and Ilya sneaking peeks at each other. Ilya wants to do stuff, but Shane says "Not here!"
As they're getting dressed, Ilya says, "If I come to your room tonight at 9:00 pm..." "I'll answer."
Scene 6: Shane puts on a suit, then isn't wearing it as he waits nervously in his hotel room. Ilya tries to get off the elevator at Shane's floor, but a woman is there, so he keeps going up. She'll just think you have a room on this floor, dude! This reminds me of my nine horrible months in..ugh...Texas, the worst place on Earth. Guys would not show up for hookups, then explain: "A car was parked in the driveway of a house three doors down, so I was afraid to stop."
He tries again, but now Shane has doubts: "This is such a bad idea." They kiss anyway. Har-har, Shane starts doing stuff before they even get their shirts off.
He's never been with a guy before, so Ilya gives him some instructions. Whoa, you thought Kelvin and Keefe were open about it. These guys go as far as they can go without actually showing the act.
When Ilya finishes, he says "Ok, this was fun. Thanks, bye!" But he's just joking. He does stuff with Shane, too.
They agree to not tell anyone about their hookup, and since they both have early flights tomorrow, Ilya leaves. Shane is upset. Are you feeling guilty about the gay stuff, worried because Ilya belongs to a rival team, or hurt because he didn't spend the night?
More after the break
Scene 7: Three months later, Montreal. Shane watches Ilya being interviewed, and exclaims "What an a*hole!" Looking nervous, he enters a restaurant, meets his parents, and says "Sorry I'm late. I got lost in a Youtube rabbit hole about different animals being friends, like a cow and a duck, or a baby and a snake." You're the baby, and Ilya's the snake, got it.
Dad (Dylan Walsh of Nip/Tuck, left) complains that he doesn't know what Youtube is. Mom has exciting news: Rolex is in: "Shane is exactly the kind of young athlete and young man that we want to be associated with." I'm guessing an endorsement?
Next topic: "I saw an interview with Ilya, your rival from the other team. He said he was going to score 50 goals. "The nerve of that guy!" Mom exclaims. "F*ck him! F*ck him right up....." This phrasing embarrasses Shane, who has doubtless been doing exactly that.
Cut to "the last face-off of the game," and the crowd wants Ilya vs. Shane! Why, they don't know that the two have been hooking up.
Scene 8: Ilya in his hotel room, watching Shane being interviewed about the goal he cut off. So he won the face-off? . "I'm happy with any goal. It doesn't have to be with Ilya."
"How does it feel to be perfect?" Ilya asks.
Next, Brother Alexei calls and asks for $20,000. "What for?" "For f*ck you." "Ok, but this is the last time."
Scene 9: Three months later, Nashville. The MHL All-Star Game. "This year it's Ilya vs. Shane...um, I mean Europe vs. North America." The guys are being interviewed about whether they think they'll win.
Cut to the game, where Shane beats Ilya's record in making goals. Ilya is upset, but while they're waiting in the stands, he tells Shane his room number.
Uh-oh, Shane's teammate Scott Hunter (François Arnaud) complains that Ilya is an a*hole, and "I have the room right next to his in the hotel."
Scene 9: Shane sneaks into Ilya's room, worried because Scott is right next door. They do the regular stuff, and then Ilya asks to do more advanced stuff. "Not with Scott nearby!"
"He is hot. Maybe we'll invite him over."
In two weeks they're playing in Montreal, where Shane lives. Could they hook up at his place?
"But....I live in an apartment!" Worried that someone will hear you through the wall? Geez, you're as closeted as the guys I met in...ugh...Texas.
They figure out a way to communicate secretly, with the screen names Jane and Lily.
Scene 10: Two weeks later, Boston Airport. Ilya checks his phone nervously as the coach announces that there's two feet of snow, so they can't get to Montreal today.
"Don't worry, she'll get over it," his teammate tells him.
Meanwhile, in Montreal there's no game tonight, so Shane's teammate invites him over for dinner. "Jackie said it's cool." Darn, I thought it was a date. He agrees.
Scene 11: Ilya goes home to his empty house. Surprise! Svetlana is there! "I thought you were back in Russia." "I heard that the game was cancelled, so I came to visit, like a good girlfriend." So she flew from Russia during the two hours since they announced that the game was cancelled?
Uh-oh, she sees Ilya's text from "Jane," thinks that he's cheating, and gets upset. Well, he is cheating. But she wants to do stuff anyway.
Scene 12: Four months later. Rookie of the Year Awards. Shane and Ilya are both nominated, naturally. Shane win. Later, teammate Scott invites him and the other rookies out for "some shots."
"Ok, so where's your boy Ilya? Um...I mean, not your boy..."
"I don't know where he is. We're not friends."
"I didn't mean...um..." Ok, so everybody knows they're hooking up.
Shane looks around, doesn't see Ilya, and finally finds him on the roof. They argue: "You're always beating me, and I win one thing, and you come up here to sulk."
"Not everything is about you. I'm upset over something else. I'm going home in three days." To Russia or to Boston? I thought when you played for a team, you had to live in their town.
"So I guess I'll see you next season." They kiss. Then Shane gets upset because they're in a public place, and walks away. The end.
Beefcake: Shane and Ilya.
Hockey: I had no idea what was going on. The guys are chosen for pro teams, but then suddenly they're prospects again. Ilya says he's playing against Sweden, but he's actually playing against Canada. The Boston Bruins play the Montreal Canadiens, but it's "Europe vs. North America."
Plus we don't see any actual hockey being played. Don't most viewers watch a tv show about sports hoping to see sports?
Plot: There's a plot: Ilya wants to pursue a romance, but Shane is very deeply closeted, and hesitant: "What if someone sees me walking on the street two blocks from your hotel, and figures out that we're hooking up?"
Will I Keep Watching: Probably not.
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