**Link to the d*ck pics**

We've been watching the American version of Ghosts (2021-26), about a husband and wife who inherit a mansion haunted by a disparate group of nonliving people who got stuck on the way to the afterlife. While waiting for new episodes, we started on the original British Ghosts (2019-23). The differences are striking. The British version is louder and darker, the ghosts are annoying rather than endearing, and, at least in the episodes we've seen to date, more antagonists than friends. But both versions have ample beefcake, some actors who have appeared n*de, on screen or off, and some gay representation. Let's compare:

In the American version, the husband is Jay (Utkarsh Ambudkar), an aspiring chef and D&D player. In the British, it's Mike (Kiell Smith-Bynoe). His interests haven't been established yet.

Hotness winner: Kiell has a d*ck pic, but Jay is cuter.

The oldest of the ghosts are Thorfin (Devan Chandler Long), a Viking who was abandoned by his shipmates and killed by a bolt of lighting around 1000 AD; and Robin (Laurence Rickard), killed at an unspecified time, but during the Neolithic era, around 3000 BC

Hotness winner: Devan

In the American version, the next oldest is Sassappis (Roman Zaragosa), a Lenape storyteller who died in 1513 without a girlfriend. The others tease him for this, until he meets someone in Season 3.

Roman is gay.

I don't find an exact parallel, but maybe Thomas Thorne (Mathew Baynton), a bad poet from the Regency era who died in a duel in 1824. He keeps falling in love with every woman he sees.

Hotness winner: Mathew gave us some n*de scenes, but you can't beat Roman's physique.

More after the break

Revolutionary War soldier Isaac Higgintoot (Brandon Scott Jones) died of dysentery in 1777 He comes out, gets a boyfriend, and almost gets married.

Brandon is gay.

His British equivalent is the Captain (Ben Willbond), a World War II soldier. He never comes out; it's always a matter of "har har" innuendo.

Hotness winner: Ben. He's handsome, plus he's given us some shirtless scenes and at least one backside

Pete Martino (Richie Moriarty), a travel agent and scout leader, was accidentally killed by an arrow while teaching archery to his girl scouts in 1985.

Pat Butcher (Jim Howick), was killed in the same way, but he was teaching boy scouts. He wears a fat suit and a ridiculous moustache.

Hotness winner: Richie, in and out of his Pete Marino outfit.

The most recently deceased ghost in the American version: Trevor Lefkowitz (Asher Grodman), a hard-partying stockbroker, He died in 2000 of a drug overdose, after lending his pants and underwear to a colleague. He is eternally n*ked from the waist down.

His British equivalent is Julian Fawcett (Simon Farnaby), a Member of Parliament who died during a forbidden s*xual encounter in 1993.

Hotness winner: Asher. I'm not sure if the d*ck pic on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends is actually him, but the guy is a mega-hunk regardless.

The headless guy, a recurring character, is played by Yani Xander (top photo) in the British version and Hudson Thames (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) in the American. A tie.

Results: The Americans win the hotness contest, seven to two.

Plus they have two gay actors and an out gay regular (and several others in recurring or guest roles), as opposed to "har har, he might be gay."