Speechless

We need more disabled actors playing disabled people on tv, but it's hard for non-disabled writers and directors to make the characters authentic, .

Speechless (2016-) seems to be doing it right.

It's a nuclear family sitcom with Mom, Dad, and three kids, one of whom, the teenage JJ (Micah Fowler), is confined to a wheelchair and "speechless" due to cerebral palsy.  He uses a communication board to spell out words and phrases.

18-year old Micah Fowler has cerebral palsy but can speak.  He notes that it's difficult to adapt to a non-speaking role.  There's a lot of eye-rolling and grimacing involved. .

The rest of the family is filled in by a nebbish dad (John Ross Bowie, the bully Kripke on Big Bang Theory), a fiercely protective Mom (Minnie Driver), the conniving little brother Ray (Mason Cook), and a sarcastic sister, whose name I didn't catch (Kyla Kenedy).

Plus Kenneth (Cedric Yarbrough), JJ's assistant.

The A plot of each episode involves JJ's push for independence (he plays hockey, joins the choir, gets drunk at a party), with Ray's conniving in the B.

Speechless is smartly written, with few moments of gag-inducing smarm.  My only complaint is that heterosexism reigns supreme.  Plotlines involve what boy is interested in what girl.  No gay people exist, unless Kenneth happens to be gay (he hasn't mentioned any romantic interests of any sort).

No beefcake, either.  Although Cedric Yarbrough has a nice physique, it's under wraps.

There are occasionally cute guys in guest roles, like Joseph John Schirle as Ben (one episode).



















The only gay connection I could find was Emerson Collins, who plays teacher Mr. Powell.  He played half of a gay couple with Jonathan Slavin (left) in The Boomerang Effect.

Bedtime Story Boyfriends: The Wind in the Willows

One of the favorite books of my childhood, The Wind in the Willows, was about two animal boyfriends in Edwardian England.  In the first chapter, the Water Rat is single, "messing around in boats" on the banks of a wide river (played by Lee Ingleby, in the 2006 Canadian movie).

But then he meets the timid Water Rat (gay actor Mark Gatiss), and invites him to move in. With no fanfare, they become a couple.

There are a few challenges to their relationship: Mole misses his old life underground, and Rat longs to explore the world beyond the River -- but the crises are quickly resolved, and the two men always return to the life they have built together, their romantic bond blatantly, painfully obvious.

The rest of the book involves the problems of their friends. The pompous Toad (gay actor Mark Lucas) steals a motor-car.

The reclusive Badger (Bob Hoskins) must defend his home from an invasion by juvenile-delinquent weasels (led by Radu Micu).

I knew that the gay subtext was strong and noble, but I figured it was accidental until, in graduate school at the University of Southern California (1985-1989), I read up on the life of Kenneth Grahame.  I even tried to include him in my doctoral dissertation.

Born in 1859, his parents forced him to become a banker; but he looked from afar at the glittering homoeroticism of the aesthetic and decadent movement.  He read Arnold Bennett, Max Beerbohm, and Karl Huysmans. He contributed to The Yellow Book.  He corresponded with Oscar Wilde.

In an 1895 story, "The Roman Road," a mysterious young man tells Kenneth about a distant, perhaps mythical city, where the only inhabitants are "friends."  No husbands and wives, no boyfriends and girlfriends, just "the princes in fairy tales who don't get the princess."  Kenneth eagerly makes plans to go to the "City of Friends," but then the young man vanishes, and no one else whom he asks has ever heard of it.

But Oscar Wilde's conviction for sodomy in 1895 scared Kenneth, and he distanced himself from the movement, and sublimated his same-sex desire.  He married in 1899, and had a son, Alastair, who heard bedtime stories about a Mole and a Water Rat who loved each other. They were published as  The Wind in the Willows in 1908.

See also: Saki (H.H. Monro).

Gay Surfers Down Under: Xavier Samuel

Speaking of the Twilight saga, Xavier Samuel, who plays muscular college-age vampire Riley Biers, has starred in many gay-positive movies and tv series back home in Australia.


2:37 (2006), a high school angst ensemble, with a gay dopehead facing homophobia (and getting a boyfriend).

Newcastle (2008), about surfing brothers Jesse (Lachlan Buchanan) and Fergus (Xavier).  Fergus has a boyfriend, Andy (Kirk Jenkins).  They frolick naked in the surf.

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Best friend to a gay guy (Miles Szanto) in Drowning (2009).

And even when there's no explicit gay content, there's plenty of homoromantic buddy-bonding.  And nudity

September (2007), about two teenagers, the white Ed (Xavier, left) and the black Paddy (Clarence John Ryan, right), trying to hold their friendship together during the turbulent 1960s.

A Few Best Men (2011), about a bridegroom (Xavier) who can't choose one best man from among his three mates.

Two Mothers (2013), about two women who fall in love with each other's sons (Xavier, Ben Mendehlson), who happen to be best friends.  Haven't seen it, but apparently there's some beach frolicking.

The Real Bulges of "The Real O'Neals"

Last night I watched the December 6th episode of The Real O'Neals: Kenny, the gay kid (Noah Galvin), goes out for wrestling, and turns out to be good at it, due to his expertise in the dance numbers from West Side Story.

He wins the adulation of his conservative Catholic high school, receiving cheers, gifts, and an invitation to sit at the jock table, but infringes upon the territory of his brother, Jimmy (Matt Shively).

At first I found it only mildly entertaining.  I was waiting for some beefcake shots of Matt Shively and his teammates.

But I never expected to see anything like this on a prime time comedy.

He's an extra; I don't have his name.  I wish I did.

Ok, time for Kenny's match.  He drops his gym trunks, revealing a singlet of his own.

Doesn't he notice that his singlet is a bit...um...snug?  Doesn't the director notice?

Noah Galvin is 22 years old, by the way, so it's ok to look.

It's impossible not to look.

It gets better.

And better.

Suddenly I'm a real fan of The Real O'Neals.

See also: The Real Gay Characters of "The Real O'Neals"

The Eagle: When Gay Subtexts Aren't Enough

The Eagle (2011) is a gay-subtext romance set in Roman Britain in 140 AD.

The plot is rather convoluted, but it seems to be about a young Roman soldier, Marcus Flavius Aquila (Channing Tatum), whose father disappeared on an expedition north of Hadrian's Wall many years ago, along with his entire Legion, plus the bronze eagle that represents "the honor of Rome."

Marcus hears a rumor that the Eagle has survived, so he sets out in search of it.  He brings along his slave Esca (Jamie Bell), who is from northern Britain and can speak the Pictish language (Gaelic is used as a stand-in).

After many scenes of the two riding through desolate wilderness, they are captured by the Seal People, the most barbaric of the Pictish tribes.  Esca buddy-bonds with their Prince (Tahar Rahim) and settles among them, explaining that Marcus is his slave.

Marcus believes that he has been tricked.

But at the proper moment, Esca reveals that he has tricked the Sea People.  They retrieve the Eagle and head back to Roman territory.  They even find the lost Ninth Legion in the process.

All of the classic gay-subtext elements are here:
1. Minimal or no heterosexual interest.
2. Men who rescue each other from danger.
3. And who walk off into the final fade-out side by side.

I still didn't like it.  It was dull and plodding, with scenes of gore juxtaposed with scenes of...well, talking.  And no attempt to provide a standard English to stand in for Latin.  Hearing Roman soldiers speark colloquial American really grates on the ears, particularly after hearing the superbly done Latinate English of Spartacus.

Plus there's no chemistry between Marcus and Esca.  They're supposed to be in love with each other.  There should be glances, gestures.  But I don't even see much of a friendship.  Esca accompanies Marcus to the north because he has no choice, he's a slave; and Marcus uses Esca for his language skills.

At the end of the movie, as they're walking off together, Esca asks "What now?"  Marcus says "You decide."

It's a cute line, but it doesn't seem deserved.  Based on what we've seen, we expect them to say "Well, thanks for your help" and part.





There's actually more chemistry between Esca and the Seal People prince (Tahur Rahim).

The director and actors insist that the movie has no gay subtexts.  Channing Tatum states that there's love in the relationship, like in any relationship, but that doesn't mean that Marcus and Esca are a couple (even though, he jokes, he and Jamie Bell have been having sex for years).

Except in 2011, writers and directors usually take pains to ensure that their characters must be read as heterosexual by adding hetero-romance or at least some longing glances here and there.  If they weren't intending gay subtexts, why not add hetero-romance?

Maybe because the movie is based on a children's novel, The Eagle of the Ninth, published by Rosemary Sutclif in 1954, the glory era of gay subtexts, where men without women was an accepted literary convention, especially in juvenile fiction.

Sutclif wrote over 100 children's novels, many about two boys or two men together.

Alan Thicke and his "Unusually Thicke" Family

Alan Thicke, who died on December 13th, was best known as the conservative psychiatrist dad on the Reagan Era warmedy Growing Pains (1985-1992), but he was most at ease as a mc.

He got his start as a talk show host, with The Alan Thicke Show (1980-82), renamed Thicke of the Night (1983-84), and through his career he hosted many specials, from the Emmies and the Golden Globes to The Barry Gibb Love and Hope Festival, and narrated many documentaries, from When Mom and Dad Break Up to How Canada Invented Hollywood.

Most recently he starred in a family reality series, Unusually Thicke (2014-2015), along with his wife, his sons and their spouses, and celebrity guest stars like David Hasselhof, Bill Maher, John Stamos, Lance Bass....

And his nephew Creighton Thicke-Rattray (second from left), a college swimming star.













Handsome but not muscular, Alan was a more of a lady's man than a gay fave rave.  He did get a photo shoot in Playgirl.   No nude shots.

And you could see a bulge here and there, leading to lots of jokes about just how thick Alan was.

Today we might make the same speculation about his sons.

Brennan (born 1974) briefly followed his father into show biz. As a child star, he voiced Scott Tracker in the cartoon MASK (1985-85) and Dennis in Dennis the Menace (1986-88).  He now runs a nonprofit marijuana dispensary in California and works for his wife's wedding dress business, Dolly Couture.

Robin (born 1977) is a singer/songwriter who has written and produced several R&B hits, such as "Sex Therapy."  He is best friends with gay singer Usher.

He has obviously inherited his father's looks and...um...other things.

Carter (born 1997) has appeared with his father in Celebrity Wife Swap, Celebrity Family Feud, Unusually Thicke, and the movie It's Not My Fault and I Don' Care Anymore (2015).

He is active in social media, where he has expressed strong support of the LGBT community.

See also: Growing Pains

Jay R. Ferguson, Teen Idol

Born in 1974, Jay R. Ferguson first received gay teens' attention in the short-lived tv adaption of The Outsiders, about boys falling in love with each other.  He had a lengthier tenure on tv series Evening Shade (1990-1994), with Burt Reynolds as Wood Newton, a high school football coach in one of those quirky small town that popped up everywhere in the 1990s.  Jay played his teenage son, Taylor, who was star quarterback, and as aggressively girl-crazy as most other teenagers on prime time in the 1990s.  But for many teens, being "dreamy" was enough.

Jay redeemed himself with The Price of Love (1995): he plays a gay hustler who shows the ropes to the "gay for pay" Bret (Peter Facinelli).

His dreaminess quotient decreased when he got a reputation as a hard partier.  Even tearing off his shirt during a party at Fox didn't help.  Kids like their teen idols wholesome and innocent.

During the late 1990s, Jay did a few buddy-bonding movies.

Blue Ridge Falls (1999), about four friends bonding over a murder. His Shane buddy-bonds with Danny (Peter Facinelli).

Hollywood Palms (2000), about the interconnected lives of residents in the Hollywood Palms apartment complex.  Jay plays rocker Riley, who buddy bonds with Dexter (Jeff Russo).  Together they try to prevent a murder.

But when he graduated to adult romantic leads, the buddy bonding dried up.  All I could find was a 2005 episode of Medium: Jay plays Tommy Lehane, best buddy of the medium's brother Michael (Ryan Hurst), who might be a murderer.

More recently Jay has played Stan Rizzo, the homophobic art director at the 1960s ad agency on Mad Men (2010-2012), the non-homophobic dad of a gay teen on The Real O'Neals (2016-), and a guy who tries to "Live Biblically."

He's still quite muscular, and not averse to stripping down to his underwear, in spite of his huge bulge.

See also: Living Biblically

Kirk Douglas and his Show Biz Dynasty

Hollywood legend Kirk Douglas celebrated his 100th birthday on December 9th.  He's had a career that spanned six decades.  In the 1950s and 1960s he often starred in beefcake-heavy movies as Ulysses (1954), 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (1954), The Vikings (1958), and Spartacus (1960).

His four sons and grandsons have followed in his footsteps.

Michael (born 1944) was a New Sensitive Man of the 1970s, starring in The Streets of San Francisco (1972-77), Romancing the Stone (1984), and The Jewel of the Nile (1985) before moving on to roles as middle-aged businessmen, cops, and lawyers.  He's played gay characters several times, notably as Liberace (2013).

Joel (born 1947) is a film producer, mostly working on productions with his father and brother.

Peter (left, born 1955) is a tv producer with credits such as The Final Countdown (1980) and Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983)

Eric (1958-2004) was an actor and comedian.  He died of an accidental drug overdose.

Michael's son Cameron (born 1978)  has appeared in four films, including It Runs in the Family (2003).  He spent five years in prison for drug dealing.  Released in 2016, he is anxious to continue his acting career.

Here are two more Douglases.  I don't know if they fit into the family or not.

Ryan

Jason

Slapsie Maxie and Mad Max: Boxers with a Hint of Lavender

I've heard the phrase Slapsie Maxie many times, usually applied in derision to a guy who fights with open-hand slaps rather than closed-fist punches.   It's supposed to suggest that you're a sissy, potentially gay. But only recently did I discover that the phrase originated with a potential landsman.

Born in 1907, Jewish boxer Maxie Rosenbloom (left) had a weak, open-glove punching style that earned him the nickname "Slapsie Maxie."

It was effective: he won 222 of his 298 fights.  But he was hit in the head so often that he lost some motor functioning and reasoning skills, becoming what they called "punch drunk."  

Forced into retirement in 1937, Slapsie Maxie began a new career in the movies, playing "himself" or other big, tough,  slow-witted, "punch drunk" characters.

He also capitalized on the association of "slapping" with effeminancy, playing characters with "a touch of lavender," such as a powder puff salesman in The Boogie Man Will Get You (1942),  a gangster named "Trixie Belle" in Here Comes Kelly (1943), or a Hopalong Cassidy parody named Skipalong Rosenbloom (1951).  

The humor came from seeing someone big and tough who might be gay, or who was too "stupid" to realize that his acts were gender-transgressive.

 In real life, he was married for a few years (1937-45), but he seemed to prefer the company of men, such as trainer and manager Frank Bachmann (left).  And he was not averse to gender-transgressions: apparently a young Davis Hopper saw him in drag at the premiere of Dodge City (1939).

Slapsie Maxie also opened a popular nightclub, Slapsie Maxie's, and made a dent in radio and on tv, playing "himself" in an ongoing role on The Fred Allen Show, and appearing on episodes of The Munsters, I Dream of Jeannie, and The Donna Reed Show.

In 1950, he teamed up with his lifelong friend, another boxer-turned-actor, Max Baer (known as Mad Max, top photo and left), playing the "stooge" who bedevils "straight man" Baer.  They starred "as themselves" in four comedy shorts and toured as the comedy team "The Two Maxies."

They remained close friends until Baer's death in 1959.  Slapsie Maxie died in 1976.

Max Baer's son, Max Baer Jr. (born in 1937) made his own splash in Hollywood as Jethro Bodine, dimwitted backwood Adonis on The Beverly Hillbillies (1962-71).  Later he contributed to gay history by producing Ode to Billy Joe (1976), starring Robby Benson as a gay teenager who commits suicide.

Top Coming Out Stories: Louie the Lilac to "Getting Some Cocks"

During the 1980s and 1990s, every time you met a new person, you exchanged coming out stories.

It doesn't happen anymore.  No one offers, and if you ask, the under-30 crowd says "What? Oh, I've always known that gay people exist.  My parents had gay friends over all the time."

But in the 1980s and 1990s, we all grew up in a world where gay people were never mentioned, heterosexual desire assumed universal..  It was interesting to hear how someone gradually pieced together clues, measured evidence, and concluded that "it is not raining upstairs."

It was a bonding experience.  It gave us a sense of camaraderie.

So here, preserved from the dark, quiet days, are the most interesting of the five hundred or so coming-out stories I've been told (Part 1):

Age 5: The Homosexuals

One day I was playing in the family room, and my father walked through with one of his friends.  I heard him say: "...and we need to do something about the problem of homosexuals...."  I didn't know what a "homosexual" was, but I knew that it had something to do with me.

Age 6: Louie the Lilac

I was watching the old Batman tv show, the episode where Milton Berle played Louie the Lilac, a villain who dressed in a lavender suit.  I thought it was the most beautiful thing in the world.  I asked my older brother, "Can I get a suit like that for Christmas?"  He laughed and said "Only if you're a lilac!"  Ever since then,  I associated the word "lilac" with being gay.

Age 8: The Babysitter

When I was little, I had a male babysitter, a teenage boy from the neighborhood, and I liked to sit on his lap.  I liked the warmth, the closeness -- and the feel of his basket!  One night I overheard him talking to his friend: "Yeah, the kid's very affectionate.  If I didn't know better, I'd think he had homosexual tendencies."

So "homosexual tendencies" meant "you like to sit on guys' laps."

Age 12: The Porn Magazines

When I was around 12 years old, my friends and I were walking through a wooded area near my house, when we saw some porn magazines that someone left lying on the ground.  We started leafing through them, the other guys gushing over the naked ladies, you know, when I saw an article called "Inside a Gay Bar."  I didn't know what "gay" meant, but I returned later to tear out the article and take it home.  It was about me!

Age 13: The Sleepover

I was spending the night with my best friend, sleeping in the same bed, and in the middle of the night I woke up to him...well, fondling me.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I whispered, shocked.

"It's ok," he said.  "All the guys do it.  It doesn't mean you're queer if you think about girls."

So I tried to think about girls, but I kept imagining guys.  That meant I was queer....

Age 13: The Alternative Prom

One day my mother, who taught high school English, came home and started complaining to my father: "You'll never guess what those idiots on the school board are up to now -- an alternative prom!  I can't believe they would pander to the deviants like that!"

I had never heard of gay people before, so I asked "What's a deviant?"

Mom said "You don't need to know.  It has nothing to do with you."

But I persisted, and finally she said, "A deviant is a pervert, a man who wants to go to the prom with another man."

Age 20: Getting Some "Cocks"

In the service I was stationed down in New Orleans, and when we had leave,  one of the guys in my barracks said "Let's go down to Bourbon Street and get us some cocks!"

I didn't realize that there were guys in the world who liked guys, so I said "Cool!  Let's go!"

Turns out that "cock" is Cajun slang for "girls," sort of like "chicks."

But the "damage" was done.  I knew that gay people were out there somewhere.  I just had to find them.

See also: Two Men Hugging.