Spending Christmas with the boyfriend's relatives is even worse, since you have to switch instantly from boyfriend to "roommate" depending on which member of the extended family knows. And sometimes you aren't informed in advance. I once spent an entire afternoon being "the roommate" for my boyfriend's aunt, only to hear "Oh, she's known since I was 12."
So when I saw that Netflix released Merry Happy Whatever, an entire eight-episode tv series about the horrors of meeting The Relatives at Christmas, I planned to watch. No doubt it would be infinitely heterosexist. So what? It would still be a good cure for the Day After Thanksgiving malaise, with The Visit looming.
It's a traditional multi-camera sound-stage sitcom, with a couch downstage center facing what is supposed to be a tv set. With a laugh-track yet. How retro!
L.A. hipster and aspiring musician Matt (Brent Morin, below) agrees to fly cross country to small-town Bucks County, Pennsylvania, to spend a 10-day Christmas vacation visiting the Family of his girlfriend Emmy.
10 days? That was his first mistake.
Family Patriarch Don Quinn (1980s hunk Dennis Quaid), a small-town Sheriff, seems to be channeling Tim Allen on Home Improvement, or maybe William Shatner on S* My Dad Says. Sports, tools, cars, grunting, flee from anything feminine.
He's got ancient gender-based hangups on everything from women working to men wearing the wrong kind of shoes, plus a few that I never even heard of, like "only women should decorate the Christmas tree."
And he has three children (not counting Emmy) who are totally on board with his cave man machismo, and three in-laws who are trying hard to avoid his wrath by pretending to be:
L.A. hipster and aspiring musician Matt (Brent Morin, below) agrees to fly cross country to small-town Bucks County, Pennsylvania, to spend a 10-day Christmas vacation visiting the Family of his girlfriend Emmy.
10 days? That was his first mistake.
He's got ancient gender-based hangups on everything from women working to men wearing the wrong kind of shoes, plus a few that I never even heard of, like "only women should decorate the Christmas tree."
And he has three children (not counting Emmy) who are totally on board with his cave man machismo, and three in-laws who are trying hard to avoid his wrath by pretending to be:
1.Dimwitted jock son Sean (Hayes MacArthur, top photo) is generally a success: wife, house, job, kids, the litany of male accomplishments that I heard incessantly while growing up. Then he loses his job, and is afraid to tell his wife, Joy (Elizabeth Ho), because a man who can't support his family is not a real man.
And their 12-year old son, Sean Jr. (Mason Davis), ha a heart-to-heart about "feelings" that he's been "trying to hide." They brace themselves for a coming-out, but Sean Jr. means that he's an atheist. Almost as bad for this conservative Catholic family!
2. Chirpy housewife Patsy is married, but has been unable to conceive a child.It must be due to the less-than-manly sperm of her husband Todd (Adam Rose). Also he's Jewish, but terrified of suggesting the most innocuous dreidel to augment the Birth of Baby Jesus.
And their 12-year old son, Sean Jr. (Mason Davis), ha a heart-to-heart about "feelings" that he's been "trying to hide." They brace themselves for a coming-out, but Sean Jr. means that he's an atheist. Almost as bad for this conservative Catholic family!
3. Aggressive, controlling Kayla (Ashley Tinsdale) is married to mild-mannered Alan (Tyler Ritter, left). But when they arrive for the first of 10 traditional holiday gatherings with the Family, he announces that he wants a divorce. They're arguing all the time, and they haven't had sex in a year.
Kayla begins dropping broad hints that the reason they broke up is: she is not attracted to men. In fact, she likes women -- a lot. She comes out as a lesbian to Matt, but is afraid to tell the Family. Wouldn't you be?
When Matt falls into this maelstrom, Dad immediately labels him "a woman" because he is a musician, doesn't like sports, faints at the sight of a needle, and is from California. Aren't they all sort of iffy out there? The rest of the Family, sensing that he' the weakest member of the pack, fall in line:
Matt: Where is everybody?
Patsy: The men all went out to get a Christmas tree.
Matt: Well, not all the men.
Patsy: All the real men.
Kayla begins dropping broad hints that the reason they broke up is: she is not attracted to men. In fact, she likes women -- a lot. She comes out as a lesbian to Matt, but is afraid to tell the Family. Wouldn't you be?
When Matt falls into this maelstrom, Dad immediately labels him "a woman" because he is a musician, doesn't like sports, faints at the sight of a needle, and is from California. Aren't they all sort of iffy out there? The rest of the Family, sensing that he' the weakest member of the pack, fall in line:
Matt: Where is everybody?
Patsy: The men all went out to get a Christmas tree.
Matt: Well, not all the men.
Patsy: All the real men.
Energized, the others start pushing back, too. Todd gets the nerve to suggest adding some Jewish traditions to the household.
Sean gets the nerve to tell Dad that he lost his job, AND that his son is an atheist.
In the last episode, set on New Year's Eve, Kayla comes out. The Family gathers for a group hug, and Dad gives her a rainbow-flag keychain. Matt's intervention has worked wonders.
I think I'll watch this show again in a couple of weeks, when I'm back home visiting The Relatives.
To be honest, my main objection is 38th some of the treatment of other relatives. Your classic bigot hits race, gender, sexuql orientation, and religion like a Greatest Hits album, but leaves class and region for the faux-woke suburban hipster banking executive these days. That guy's also a racist, but his view is "Racist? I'm not poor, Kenny!"
ReplyDeleteYou can actually get some compassion off Bigot Classic; he's just really annoying. Good luck off the new guy.
Hayes MacArthut was in an episode of "Looking" the great HBO series about gay friends
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