The Top TV Show on Netflix this week is Untamed, about a murder in the "untamed wilderness" of Yosemite National Park in California. There's supposedly some paranormal content, so I'm in.
Scene 1: Two hot guys arre rock-climbing on the sheer face of El Capitan, a 3,000 foot rock monolith in Yosemite National Park. I'm getting nervous just watching them. Suddenly a dead woman falls from the top, tangling into their rope and almost plummeting both of them to their deaths.
The guys are stuntmen and professional rock climbers Colton Belley (left) and Adrian Persad (below).
Colton fills his Instagram with girl-hugging photos, but Adrian does not.
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He arrives at the crime scene on a horse -- the other cops, rangers, and paramedics mock him as "Gary F*cking Cooper." How do you even know who that is? He's an ISB Special Agent, and therefore thinks he's better than the lowly rangers; he "busts our balls" over everything.
He snootily ignores the introduction to Investigator Naya Vasquez and asks if the two climbers knew the Dead Girl. No, they just looked up and there she was. They didn't hear anything, or see anybody else. Well, they were fighting for their lives.
It's starting to storm, so the SAR guys refuse to go down to where she is dangling and retrieve her, but Turner does it. His evaluation: she was mauled by a coyote or dog; there are wounds from trying to fight them off; she ran up from the forest below with no shoes.
Scene 2: Coroner's Office. The coroner agrees with Turner's evaluation, and finds a large tattoo X filled with gold.
At the station, the head ranger Paul (Sam Neill, left) advises him to be a little friendlier to the rangers. "Nope, they're all idiots, and I hate them all." How many murder investigations are there in this park, for them to work with him often?
Park superintendent Lawrence wants the "animal attack" covered up. If they think there are packs of wild animals attacking visitors, people will stay away.
Scene 3: At night, Turner rides his horse to the bottom of El Capitan, to see if the woman dropped anything on the way down. She did: a bracelet with little letters on it.
Scene 4: A lady asleep in bed. Turner calls at 2:30 am to invite her to a meteor shower on Thursday. Heterosexual identity established at Minute 18. Must be his ex: he reminisces about their happy times together, but she isn't having it: "Are you drinking?" She hangs up; her boyfriend offers to have a talk with him about boundaries.
Scene 5: In the morning, Agent Naya Vasquez drops by. The boss wants her to help with the case, to make things go faster. "Heck, no. Your stupidity will slow me down."
"Tough, the boss ordered me. I don't want to be here ause you're an incredibly sexy...I mean arrogant jerk."
"Ok, hang on while I have breakfast." Whiskey and pills. "Ok, I'm ready."
She notices a photo of his kid, and tries to bond by mentioning that she has a kid about his age, and she's single, hint hint, but he's not into being social. "Let's get to work"
Vasquez wants to canvass the lodges around, but he points out that the park is the size of Rhode Island and gets 100,000 visitors a week. The busiest month is August, with 600,000 visitors.
More after the break
Scene 6: They go on horseback around the base of El Capitan to see if there's any evidence of a woman being attacked by wolves. An old hunting cabin with dried blood on the porch, and inside a bloody...rope? "She was running from something, hid in here, then left again."
There are also strange markings by the wall where she pushed her way out. "Check out any missing Indigenous girls."
And a bear trying to get in! Tuner shoots his gun, and it runs away.
The Coroner calls: he didn't notice before, but there's a bullet in the Dead Girl's leg. Someone was shooting at her.
Scene 7: Turner and a guy named Chief discuss fishing and the theft of Native American lands. There's no gossip about a Dead Girl in the Native community.
The main Native tribe in the area was the Miwok. About 900 live in Mariposa and Tuolumne Counties, 3,500 in California. There's a reconstructed village, Ahwahnee, behind the Yosemite Museum.
No "Chief" listed in the IMDB. It may be an affectionately racist nickname. He may be Wiseman (Jacob Burkart)
Scene 8: Vasquez lies in bed, looking through the Yosemite promotional photos to see if she can find the Dead Girl. She has a cozy-hug-kiss top of head conversation with her 4-year old son. Uh-oh, she gets a DM from her abusive ex: "Can't pretend I don't exist. He's my kid, too."
Scene 9: Turner is lying on his couch, getting drunk(er). Time for the Meteor Shower. His kid is anxious to watch. He's harassing his Ex-Wife while drunk, but she allows an unsupervised sleepover with their kid?
Meanwhile, the Ex-Wife, her Current Boyfriend, and their two teenage daughters are in their kitchen, drinking tea. The daughters talk about how much they love their lives: "My cheeks hurt from smiling!"
Ex-Wife, sad, goes out to the porch and looks at the meteor shower and cries. Current Boyfriend joins her (I think he's played by Josh Randall).
At a snooty house, a Rich Old Guy is called to dinner. A little girl wants him to explain the various photos on his bureau, including one of Turner and his kid. "That's my godson. His name is Caleb. He passed away several years ago." Wait -- the kid is dead? Turner is hallucinating him? Or is he a spirit?
Cut to Chief finding Turner lying on his blanket -- alone! He brought a fish for them to cook later. It's the middle of the night. Can't it wait until morning? He looks up at the sky and announces that "Death has come to my people's land. Bodies will fall like the stars." The end.
Beefcake: None
Other Sights: Lots of location shots.
Heterosexism: Doubtless Turner and Vasquez will hook up, but the main relationships appear to be parent-child.
Gay Characters: You could do a gay-subtext between Turner and Chief.
Paranormal: The strange markings in the cabin, and the spirit of the dead son.
Will I Keep Watching: Probably not. I liked the Kid Spirit twist, but the"dead girl" is the oldest cliche in the book, Turner is over-the-top surly, and I'm really more of a big city person. And why the heck are they riding horses everywhere? This isn't the Old West.
Left: Eric Bana, early photo.
Kyle Hawk,: gay or gay-ally wrestler and Las Vegas resident, with a Native American bonus
Tracker: Guy tracks missing people in scary states. Are any of them gay? Do any have beefcake pics?
Blake Bashoff: "Bushwacked," "Big Bully," and a goat ranch with his husband
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