"Son of a Thousand Men": Magic realism from Brazil with fragmented time and space, but there are gay guys and d*cks

Son of a Thousand Men (2025) popped up on the n*de celebrity website with a hung trifecta, playing N*de Men #1, #2, and #3, with Antonino. 

Link to the n*de dudes

But what is it about?  

Different reviews give us completely different plots:

1. "A lonely fisherman longing for a son is drawn into an ethereal light," and the boy appears.

2. "A gay guy enters a marriage of convenience with a foundling woman" 

3. "An older couple hires an actor to impersonate their gay son."

4. "A elderly man tells his grandson to stay away from gay men and lesbians" (VOD)

Maybe they're all correct.  I suspect that we are looking at magic realism, like 100 Years of Solitude, The House of the Spirits, and Cortazar's Hopscotch, where people merge into other people, time and space are fragmented, and the subconscious manifests in everyday objects.   

Let's try the trailer:

Scene 1:  Sometime in the 19th century, an elderly fisherman (Rodrigo Santoro) is living by himself. That's the beginning of a lot of fairy tales.

He has been driven insane by the isolation, so he makes a creepy boy doll that he pretend is  real.   So is the doll going to come to life, like Pinocchio?  

Scene 2: He puts an ad in the village grapevine, "Elderly man seeks a son."  A teenage boy looks at it, but a preteen boy shows up. I think the teen boy turned into the preteen boy, and both are going to become the Fisherman.

Scene 3: The Boy wants the Fisherman to get a girlfriend, so he won't be lonely.  This might be a problem, since they live in the wilderness, a long, arduous journey from the nearest town. Who does he sell the fish to?   

Fortunately, at that moment the Woman of his Dreams appears, wearing a flowing white robe, sitting alone on the rocks. She must be a supernatural being, maybe an eidetic invocation of the Eternal Feminine.

The Boy doesn't think that the Woman of his Dreams is an appropriate partner for the day-to-day life of a fisherman, maye he can't see her at all, so he continues: "There are plenty of girls in the village."  This to a shot of someone who is definitely not a girl. I think he's Antonino from the n*de photos (Johnny Massaro), so maybe he was hanging out on the gay beach. 

Scene 4: Mom tells Antonino that she needs a grandchild, so get busy.

Scene 5: Antonino's wedding, to a woman trapped in a fishing net. Is this standard for Brazilian weddings, or does it signify that she's a sea creature?   This must be Plot #2: he's a gay guy forced to marry "a foundling woman." 

Scene 6: They settle in for their wedding night in separate beds.

Scene 7: In the morning, she leaves, wanders on to the beach, and says "Love ruins everything," just before the Fisherman sees her and is overcome by Girl of His Dreams fervor. So she's the Net Lady.  But I thought there were no other houses -- or hotels -- around for hundreds of miles. Maybe she walked through time and space.

Scene 8: Net Lady and Fisherman bond over screaming therapy, laugh, and swim in an ocean full of people, "all children of different mothers and fathers."  Obviously.

Meanwhile Antonino (I think) has a rather painful bout of self-gratification.

Scene 9: The Boy curls into a fetal position as hair drops on him.  So he's been to the barber?

People gaze at the ocean.

Net Lady (I assume) dies as the Fisherman holds her hand.

There's a giant glowing seashell.

Fisherman: "We're never really alone."

The end.

Still confused?  Me, too.  But I found a complete, detailed plot synopsis, untangled the magic realism fragmentation, and put the events in chronological order.

Unfragmented story after the break.  

This is a timeless, archetypal world, so I'm going to randomly assign "now" as 2025.

1945: An Unnamed Woman is a lesbian.  Her family tries to "fix" her by marrying her off.  She has a child, then runs away and lives in a cave on the beach.  

1950: When her romance with another woman is discovered, she is hanged in the town square, and the boy must live alone.  He grows into the Elderly Fisherman (left, in Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle)

2015: The Little Woman (a little person) is frequently forced into s*x by the men of the village.  She becomes pregnant, and dies in childbirth.  The Boy is raised by his Grandfather.

Left: the Boy's age keeps changing, but I think this is one of the actors who plays him.

2020: Noticing that a male churro vendor has painted nails,  Grandfather drags the Boy away and cautions him that gay men and lesbians are the incarnation of evil, destroying all of the joy in the world.

2024: Grandfather dies, and the Boy lives along for awhile, until an elderly woman remembers the Elderly Fisherman looking for a son, and drops him off.

2025: Antonino is attracted to men, but he keeps getting beat up when he tries to make contacts.  Or, when a hookup is successful, as with the motorcyclist who appeared from another time (Edu Porto), he runs home feeling guilty and prays to be cured.  

Mom suggests that he  just get married and have children.  She finds the Net Lady, who has been raised to fear the loss of her virginity and therefore doesn't want to ever get married.  They are  perfect for each other!

They get married but don't have s*x, and the Net Lady wanders off and sits on the rocks for the Elderly Fisherman to fall in love with.   Eventually Antonino joins them, the Boy overcomes the homophobia instilled by his Grandpa, and they become a family.   

Left: the churro vendor

My Grade: I get the impression that this movie was more fun to decipher than to actually watch.  And the gay guy still doesn't get a boyfriend.  LGBT people must be content with friendship, while heterosexuals get Women of their Dreams plopping down on the rocks.  

But I am inspired to pick up 100 Years of Solitude again.

See also: Thomas Kuc: The gay-vague Gameshaker goes to the head of the class, hides under the bed, visits a bathhouse. With two d*ck pics to compare

Nick Vardakas: Sex toy guy, lucky f*king dude, Atari spirit, Dillon's boyfriend, IT major. A lot of d*ck pics, but is he gay

"Summer Heat": Not Much Heat, But a Tragic Gay Guy Named Maicon